Do you have a husband that is negative about everything?

Question

If so, How do you handle it?
I love my husband so much and he's a great guy. He is a hard worker, and kind to me and others.
He is just so negative about everything.
Movies, jobs, cars, you name it, he has something bad to say.
I am worn out hearing him complianing so much. I do try to encourage him, or just listen and agree with him, but at the same time, it brings me down.

Answer 1

Tell him. I did. I let my honey know that he was bringing me down all the time because he never had anything good to say about anything. Eventually, he chose to go to counseling (I told him I couldn't take it anymore, this wasn't healthy behavior, I loved him with all my heart and soul, but I couldn't live with someone that could find absolutely no pleasure in life). I never used the word divorce...I just suggested we live separately, because I felt that if nothing made him happy then obviously I didn't make him happy either. I didn't leave and neither did he. If he had a legitimate complaint, we discussed it. But, if it was just to complain for the sake of complaining, he learned that it made him feel worse and then he learned to voice his opinion briefly and move onto a more pleasant topic of conversation.

Answer 2

I was married to a man like that and it does bring you down. His family was like that also. It was just about all I could do not to run away screaming.
In my ex's case, he was a compulsive gambler and had a hidden life.
After he quit gambling and began his recovery his outlook did improve.
One day he asked me how I was able to sit and listen to all of them complain about everything.
I am not a therapist, but there may be an underlining problem that causes his negativity.
It's hard, but since he is a good man otherwise hopefully he can work it out.
Good luck

Answer 3

Stop getting down by what he complains about, start looking at all the good things in life. You said he is a great guy so it wont be that hard for you. Dont feed the fire. If he start complaining about something ignore him and dont pay any attention to his negative words. Good luck

Answer 4

Used to. Had to divorce him. The negativity just got to be too much, day after day. We live in a whiner society. People think if they have nothing to complain about that they have nothing to say. I tried explaining to the ex that there is good and bad in everything and you can choose what to focus on. Start asking him "Was there anything good about the movie?", "Is there anything you do like about that car?" Try to help him focus on the good. Good luck.

Answer 5

Ok I am in the same boat. My husband is the same way and it gets really frustrating sometimes because we are complete opposites I am always the positive one. I have to spend at least a half hour just trying to convince him that everything is good. Remember just keep being positive eventually he will hopefully start seeing things in a new light. At least that is what I am hoping for, but in my case it still hasn't happened but I am still hopeful.

Answer 6

People like this can bring you down. Try talking to him and let him know how you feel. Don't tolerate it if it doesn't change refuse to hear negativity. Maybe he will get the message if you tell him you don't want to hear it and then you walk away from it. Or maybe ask him what he thought was good about the movie. Get him to name atleast one thing good. Maybe this will help him to change.

Answer 7

Oh my goodness, are you married to my husband??? He always has the glass half empty attitude where I have the half full glass. I spent years getting on his case about it, now I just laugh at him. We can't even get out of the church parking lot on Sundays without him muttering about someone. I just tease him and say, you should just pray for their stupidity instead of complaining, he has to laugh at that. If he gets too bad I ask him to please just go one day without complaining and he will try. I must thank you though, I thought I was the only one married to the year round Grinch....:)

Answer 8

Not much you can do about it, some thrive on being negative.
I think negative people are proud sort of people that think they are always right, and that everyone else around them are wrong and bad.
I am around ppl like that often enough myself, and yes, we all can go there....but to stay in that frame of mind, I never could figure out how one can live like that and stay sane!

Answer 9

The only way to discourage him to be negative about everything is by challenging him to prove it trough books or newspaper. Opinions don't count, otherwise you need to ignore his accusations to make a firm point.

Answer 10

My ex was a boohoo person also. I felt beat up by his negativity. It just went on and on and on. I always say, if you don't like something the way it is, then change it. So I did.