I have a friend who wallk me and my other friend to our classes. he hugs me and i don't like him like that and he is always on someone. he is really annoying. and he acts kinda feminin and to white(but i'm not being prejudice or anything)
Its like seeing a white guy trying to be black and a white guy trying to be black in an annoying way. how can i tell him to bud out and leave me alone with out being mean?
2007-11-28 02:17:56 · 12 answers · asked by Ice_Nova 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You've put yourself in a touchy situation by letting him hug you to begin with. If you find him annoying, why do you want to be his friend to begin with? You say you want him to 'bug off', but you don't want to be mean... it sounds to me like you don't really care about HIS feelings, just your own appearance to others. You don't want people to view you as mean.. but everything you've said about him in your question is mean - did you think about that? You're being mean by pretending to be his friend and then saying hurtful things behind his back. I think you need to just be honest with him, tell him you don't think you can be friends with him because you're too pre-occupied with your image of perfection, and in your eyes he's clearly not perfect. Maybe when you grow up a bit and look back, you'll see you did him a favor by letting him see you for your true colors before you really did him damage. For your own sake, I hope you come down off your high horse and realize that we're all equal and he's just as good as you are.
2007-11-28 02:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by huge_tracts_of_land 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are the woman and if he is hugging you. It's because your allowing it to happen. In which case it would make it equally your responsibly to make sure he doesn't hug you if you don't like it. There isn't any real way to avoid the akwardness of telling him necessarily. But just pull him aside alone (that's important) and start off by saying that you notice he hugs a lot of other girls and that for that reason you would like it if he simply didn't hug you anymore because it makes you feel uncomfortable or uneasy. Then say no hard feelings and then act like you have no hard feelings. If you act like things are akward afterward he will too. You have to go into it and leave the situation feeling like your holding nothing against him as though the overall situation never occurred. I don't mean pretend, but believe that that's just life and it isn't going to be a situation that pins me down. Now, it would be interesting study on whether or not most black women see non-thuggish black men as more feminine or less masculine. I mean if he was thuggish like I figure you like in a guy. I doubt you would have called him either feminine or white. Not being thuggish doesn't make a black person white.
2007-11-28 10:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by Hierophant 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put yourself into a touchy situation by allowing him to hug you in the first place. You've stated that you don't want to be mean, but you are. You are talking about him behind his back and saying mean things about him. The best thing that you can do in this situation is to be honest with him about it. Let him know that what he is doing is very uncomfortable and you would really appreciate it if he would stop. Be nice, but firm about it. He will understand. What is with a someone acting "too white?" What does that mean? I'm black and I still don't get it. Good luck and don't be surprised that what you are saying to him will hurt his feelings.
2007-11-28 11:00:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it sounds like you are being prejudiced; there are a lot of judgmental statements in your post. That notwithstanding, it's clear that you're not attracted to this guy. You need to tell him so outright, no soft-pedaling. With guys any ambiguity about what you mean leaves room for hope, and that wouldn't be fair to him. It needs to be as clear as, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not attracted to you that way." Don't try to spare his feelings; it's going to hurt no matter how you do it, but being up front about it will hurt him less.
2007-11-28 10:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
opposed to a white guy trying to be black in a not annoying way?
just tell him, who cares if it comes out harsh?
at least you'll get the point across.
2007-11-28 10:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by rainingkryssie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry sis ain't going to work if you don't want him around tell him to get lost but that will hurt. or you could try the proven talk to him and tell him that some of the things that he does and how he acts annoys you and try to help him to fix it and maybe he could make more friend. possibly two birds one stone.
2007-11-28 10:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by priest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg these long paragraphs are ridiculous...look just tell em him that he's getting to close..when he goes to hug you shake his hand or something..eventually he'll move on..mostly like soon after you tell him back up..and you don't have to mean you can kinda laugh it off..but be like I'm serious..at the same time ;)
2007-11-28 10:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by Nestle Dip!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to be frank to him and tell him what annoys you most if he is your friend he would understand or tell him that you would not talk to him if he doesn't change his behaviour,all the best
2007-11-28 10:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Nazneen M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a good natured way, preferably with a smile, tell him to take it down a notch.
2007-11-28 10:22:31 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out to him would work... Tell him that you know he's just being friendly and all but he got to stop doing that. Tell him why as well...
2007-11-28 10:25:12 · answer #10 · answered by voice.from.above 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋