who is scared about marriage?

Question

i mean i'm 16 i've got a long way to go but everyone is so happy when they think of themselves getting married but with me, i feel scared and i don't know why.

Answer 1

its scary but at the same time it would be an amazing experience./

Answer 2

Marriage is a big commitment, I would imagine that the people who are happy at the thought of getting married are idealising it in their heads. When your so young you think that everything is going to come up roses, the perfect partner the perfect marriage etc and there is nothing wrong with that just as long as your prepared to get bit on the butt by life.

Your 16 and as you say you have a long way to go in life, at your age I was certain I was never going to get married. It is understandable that you are scared, it's the unknown and that is scary, but you know that can also be a good thing as it means you will be cautious with who to give your heart to and once you have found the right person I am sure you will know. So many marriages end up in divorce and that is plastered all over the place so I guess at your age I would be worried about it to.

Enjoy yourself and find out who you are before worrying about something that isn't ment to happen for a few years yet.

Answer 3

I was scared when I got married. I think everyone is - it's a big step.

I can't tell you *how* to find the right person for you. Only you know that. But I can tell you to take your time when you're looking. People who want to get married in the worst way usually find the worst person to marry. In my opinion, you should know the person you're going to marry at least 3-4 years before you get engaged. You want to see them at their best, at their worse, when they're doing well, and when they're struggling. You want to know how they react when times are tough.

Also - you shouldn't get married until you've lived at least a year out on your own. That means supporting yourself completely - making your own car payments, rent payments, insurance, food, utilities, and medical payments, too. You should know first hand what it takes to run a household. This will help make you a more mature person, and make your marriage more likely to last. Don't worry if all your friends are married by age 19, and you're not when you're 25. Odds are, when you do get hitched, it'll be to someone who you'll be with for the long run.

One last thing - don't have kids right away, either. Getting married is a huge step - having kids is another. Take time to settle into the relationship before you upset the apple cart again.

Answer 4

You are 16. At that age it should be a bit scary, or at least a mystery. All around are lots of different relationships, those that are good, ok, and just bad. You can't worry about other people. When the time comes for you, you won't be scared anymore. But that should be the furthest thing from your mind right now. Do things for yourself so you can be self-sufficient when you are an adult. Then you won't have to rely on anyone to "take care" of you. Then your marriage can be what it should be and not end up a financial trap.

Answer 5

You SHOULD be scared. The government has turned marriage into a "contract", which is how these ugly battles over property happen between two individuals. I don't believe there's anything written in the bible or wherever that said marriage should be a contract. But it now is, and in the case of 50% of marriages, they end up in court fighting over the Peace Lily downstairs...not to mention costing thousands in legal fees.

It's no wonder more couples are living together and having children, but not getting married.

Answer 6

because your 16! why are you even thinking about it lol. Marraige won't seen not scary until you've found someone you actually WANT to marry.. sometime in the far FAR future.
Marraige should scare you cause your still only a baby. Its not something you should be worrying about cause i guarantee in 10 years time you'll be laughing at this question and hoping you get married before your 30.

Answer 7

i'm not scared. i just wonder if i'll be a good wife. sometimes i am mean, uptight, super messy. i don't want to get pregnant right away. that is a scary thought. pregnancy. spending my life with someone else, not so much. i think whoever i fall in love with, they will be an amazing person, because i just have this feeling. so i'm not so much scared. i just so much wonder if marriage will happen for me, and will i reach that level of confidence and happiness to make my life worth while. good question.

Answer 8

Because you are smart enough to know what a huge commitment and life changing event it is. However, if and when you find the right person it will not be scary, but exciting. At 16 you should be focused on yourself and achieving your life goals, so good for you! Stay wary and don't jump into anything you aren't ready for.

Answer 9

I guess it really depends on what you want to do in your life. I mean, if you want to get a PhD and conduct research in far-flung areas, then I guess being married is great disadvantage. But seriously, I think one of the best things to consider is the kind of environment you grew up in. Take me, for example, I grew up with a philandering father. Hearing my dad and mom argue constantly since I was a child did became a factor in my decision to delay or entirely disregard marriage. :) But oh well, we're still too young so we never know.

Answer 10

I'm 26 and I'm scared and I'm married! Don't worry it's only natural to be scared and to be honest have some fun at 16.

Answer 11

I feel the exact same way, I'm in my early 20's and the thought of marriage and pregnancy and males in general scares me, I don't know why either.
I've come to the decision that not all people are the marriage and motherly/fatherly type.