Have you ever loved someone so bad…and been heartbroken because they did not feel the same or they were just playing with your feelings… that even when you look back or reminisce on that past love and it still hurts inside…often wonder what did you do wrong.? 3 years pass and you are doing fine and married. That person walks back into your life and asks your forgiveness, explains and blames his immaturity for the way they hurt you.. And would love to be back in your life. what would you do? Would you allow that person back? Why would they want to be back after all they have done to you?
2007-11-28 02:00:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
God have you been reading my mind. Yes I've been through that and yes I let him back in AS A FRIEND. We went back 15yrs and I don't think that's a friendship I want to lose. However I made sure he understands that I am Happily married and am in no way looking for a romantic relationship with him.
2007-11-28 02:08:59 · answer #1 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in your shoes. I was dating a girl for 4 years and we got married. We were married for less than 3 month and she left me out of the blue. Still to this day I haven't got a real reason why she left. I am engaged to a differant girl now and to be married in Oct. 2008. Last week my EX called me to see how I am doing. I didn't know what to say to her at the time she called. I always thought what I would say to her the next time she called but I totally choked. In my situation I would never let that person back because she hurt me so bad and I am with a woman that loves me more than anything. I understand the past is the past but you need to leave that other person in the past and look into the future. Best of luck but remember forgive and forget that person that hurt you.
2007-11-28 10:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by Gregory H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A year ago I would have said RUN. But...when you have a deep connection with someone significant from your past there is, or can be value in having them in your life. You just have to be very, very careful about HOW you go about it. Don't confuse the warm fuzzies and comfort with romantic feelings. Don't allow the intimacy of a returned friendship eclipse or replace the emotional intimacy with in your marriage. And while forgiveness is great and healing- DO NOT forget why the relationship didn't work in the first place.
If you can do all of that and still want to hang with this person, I say go for it!
2007-11-28 12:59:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sarcastibitch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have loved that deeply before. But do NOT let this person back in your life now. Accept the apology, but decline any contact at all from now on. You are married now, this will only make your life much worse if you see this person.
Besides you are taking a huge risk that this person will hurt you again and blame his immaturity or something else. Even if you do go back to him, you will always wonder if he will repeat previous behaviors and you will not trust him in the back of your mind. Don't do that to yourself. You deserve better.
2007-11-28 11:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people stay with you all youre life, I think it is partly because we tend to remember the good times and forget the bad. Anyway you have a obligation to your family now and that is the best place for you. You should chose soon and make it final, dont have any thing to do with him as it will be torcher. If you will go with him you will pay much more than the pain of a past relationship. Its actually choosing between two bad choices. Ill say it again so you get it, going with him or just seeing him will bring heart ache you may not have imagined. Grampa B
2007-11-28 10:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by Grampa B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you or anyone allow this individual to walk back into your life because they were immature. I would said; that you're immature to take this person back.
sorry I don't buy it for one second! As pretty as you're there is no way I would allow my immaturity to get in my way to make you mine. I might be silly and goofy at time, but I will still try to make you mine.
You stated that you're married now and things are going great for you. So, why would you want him into your life? Why do he want to enter a married woman life? He is up to something that is not good. Tell him you have forgive him, my son. Now go and enjoyed your life. bye bye....
2007-11-28 10:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually had this very same thing happen to me! I am happily married, so I took the guys apology for what it was, made a false promise that I would keep in touch with him (as he did to me years before) and then threw his phone number out my car window on the way back to my house. But, like I said, I am happily married!
Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't let the person back in. It took him HOW many years to contact me and apologize? Too little, too late. You snooze, you lose! I have no use for a person like that, and you shouldn't either! Cling to your hubby and true friends, because they are the ones that will be there for you! Let "Old Faithful" take his BS somewhere else!
2007-11-28 10:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Marina 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I bet you are thinking in your head, "what if they really have changed", ask yourself do you really want to risk your successful life on someone who may or may not really have changed. Things happen for a reason and obviously this person wasn't the right guy for you because you married someone else. Personally I wouldn't put my life in jeopardy for someone whom may be that same person from 3 years ago. I know this is probably what you didn't want to read but its just something to think about. Good Luck.
2007-11-28 10:11:52 · answer #8 · answered by hiddengem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question is how happy are you in your marriage? If things are not so good then maybe it will be for the best. Remember that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it takes a couple years to find out the reason. Go with your instincts.
2007-11-28 15:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by robertlnngr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something like that has happened to me. But I got married and I had to slowly suffer and forget her. I wanted to be with her so bad. Here is some advice. Focus on making your partner happy.... That is what matters in your life
2007-11-28 10:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by Michael C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋