I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years now and we are very happy! We have plans to move in together in May and always talk about our life together. But heres the thing. Every time I bring up getting married(which I am totally ready for), he says yes, that he wants to marry me. But then when i ask when, he says some day soon. I would really like to get married as all my frineds are and Im the last one standing. And I feel that we are ready for that. But he doesn't show any effort to put some money away for a ring or even try to maybe set a time line. I feel like Im getting my hopes up. Please help. This is breaking my heart!
2007-11-28 01:43:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DON'T MOVE IN WITH HIM. Why on earth pretend to be married when you really want the real thing? Men don't have any reason to get married if they have girlfriends who are silly enough to think that if they move in with them and make their life all comfy and cozy, then the man will want to get married. What's wrong with this scenario? Well, gee -- the man is *already* comfy and cozy -- why get married?!?!
Not setting a date is a big red flag -- he's not ready, but he is just telling you that he wants to marry you in order to keep you off his back and in his bed. So far, it's worked. :-) You are getting your hopes up. Back off -- and start looking around. He's pretty darn sure of you at this point. Why should he be? He's made no commitment to you -- why should you be committed to him?
Wanting to get married because you are the "last girl standing" is a really lousy reason for getting married, you know. I'd rather be the last happy single girl in the world rather than married to Mr. Wrong.
2007-11-28 01:56:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be kind of antsy to get married too. I had been with one guy for 7 years and another for 3 years, my last for 14 months. I probably would have said yes to any of them and that would have been a MISTAKE! After spending some time alone I realized that when the time is right is will happen, or maybe not, but I'm fine either way.
Most of my friends are married (I'm 30) and have kids. When I get antsy now, I think of the people at my high school reunion that had already been married, had kids, AND divorced. You have to be patient...and in the meantime, think about what you'll do if you NEVER get married. What if when you move in with your bf things don't work out and you're suddenly single again after 2 years with someone???? Find a way to be happy and content with yourself alone...there is no guarantee that you'll ever be married, or that when you do get married you'll stay married. Once you accept that, it will be easier to remain patient.
2007-11-28 02:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have two options in this situation.
1) tell him the only way you will move in with him as his wife.
2) tell him up front, that you will only move in for one year (yes, give him a time limit) and its off to the church or court house to exchange vows. In the mean time you don't bug or said anything to him about marriage for the whole year. That include hints here and there, the reason for this is to see if he really want to married you in the first place. After six month and closer to the end of the year (that you have move in together) notice any changes in his attitude. How often he fuss about things, etc.
2007-11-28 02:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you only want to get married because all your friends are married? I would say stop pressuring your BF about marriage and move in together and see how you get along when under the same roof. I would then give it a year and see if he is any closer to proposing. You are running the risk of never having him propose if you are living together though...he may figure why bother since you are already living together anyway.
2007-11-28 01:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are very happy together don't get married it will only ruin your relationship!!! Here are some facts before you do something stupid:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.
2007-11-28 02:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT move in together and start playing house. He will never take it to the next level. You may be ready but the red flags that he isn't are flapping in your face and you choose not to see them. Just because your friends are getting married doesn't mean it's time for you to. Slow down and be smart. DO NOT MOVE in together!!! Choose your paths in life very carefully...
2007-11-28 02:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I would really like to get married as all my frineds are and Im the last one standing", that kind of thought raises many red flags on a guy, someone whose goal is to get married (because she wants, and because she is the last one standing), one thing is to be ready financially and personally, the other thing, is if you have found someone you care about, not someone to make him sign a paper and make him your husband.
2007-11-28 02:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohh God! You are one of these women who will marry out of peer pressure because all of your GF's are married. One of these women who doesn't really know the guy and trust me, you don't from what you have told us yet you're ready to marry him because you've invested 2 years into him.
Desperate.
2007-11-28 02:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by huckleberryjoe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im in a similar situation. I think either he isn't ready for it or he just cant marry you yet for some reason
If he really loved you, he would you marry you sometime soon
2007-11-28 01:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by Aiko 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is it that people that choose to ask the SAME question all the time go to SUCH GREAT LENGTHS to hide that fact by creating so many ID's to do it?!
You got your answer about one thousand times over. So stop asking this same question over and over again!
2007-11-28 01:48:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋