Spanking your children?

Question

In our foolish state of Massachusetts, a proposal has been made to make spaning your child a crime. First off, how is it the government's business how I discipline my child, Second, imagine if this went through how many kids that are pissed at their parents will call 911, repoting their parents. As if the child protective services is not overwhelmed, understaffed and ineffective enough.
I was spanked when I was bad as a child, and hey, I am ok. Sure, there are cases of parents taking a spanking too far, but why would the majority have to suffer for the minority?

Looking for your thoughts on what life will be like as a parent trying to discipline their children if this law goes into effect? Also, do you see this issue as a waste of the legislatures time when their are far more important issues to be resolved?

Hey Bill H....if we didn't own a 15 acre farm, 1 mile as the crow flies from the ocean on the north shore, might consider leaving..but would relocated to the Czech Republic.

I see we have some pretty extreme views on this....

Thank you for such good and honest answers. I cannot choose the best, as there are 4 or 5 that are really good.

Answer 1

It's not against the law in the UK to smack your child. But is against the law in any country to ABUSIVELY assault your child. That is the difference between smacking and abusing.
I was smacked as a child when i needed it. Did me no wrong. I am a normal hard working adult. I smacked my three when they were little. A smack on the back of the hand or the bottom does not do a child any harm at all. The reason why the world is the way it is now is that there is not enough discipline nowadays.
Parents don't smack because they're brainwashed into thinking it is abuse. Schools have banned corporal punishment and kids run riot. It's even spreading to the UK now as some teachers can't control the kids.
In my day you got the belt at school and your learned your lesson.
How do you tell a two year old kid that is away to stick their fingers into an electrical socket not to do so?
Do you?
A.......say..."now darling, don't do that or you will go up in a blue flash, take convulsions and stop breathing."
or
B.....a tiny smack on the back of the hand and a loud "NO, bad!"
I plumped for B any time they were about to put themselves in danger and they didn't do it again.
I also (shock horror).....when my two year old decided one day to see what it would be like to bite my leg....bit him back....just enough to make him feel it.....he never did it again. I know kids who bite other kids and their parents can't stop them because all they say is dont do that.
I had great kids and was always praised on their good behaviour and politeness.
My kids have grown to be well educated, hard working, nice people. They smack their kids when they need it and punish in the way that i punished mine.
I have the type of grandkids that anyone would be proud of. They have terrific senses of humour, are full of fun and say please, thank you and even excuse me when they want passed someone. I know a lot of adults who will not say that and just pushed passed.
Smacking should not be made illegal anywhere. It is up to the parents how they discipline their kids. But not beatings or cruelty. And i'm afraid some parents will be cruel to their kids whether smacking is banned or not. Do the governments actually think that if they ban smacking then the bad parents will stop beating up their kids. they are going to do it anyway.
Too much nanny state government in the UK and USA. Leave us to bring our kids up our own way and butt out of our business.
And that goes for all the p**sy footing parents who think that we who smack are cruel and it is DEGRADING to a child. it is more degrading to a child to have them brought up without any knowledge of right or wrong and respect for their parents.
Compare kids nowadays with the ones of say....the 40's. respect in most households is non existant.
The do gooders and the political correctness idiots.....get a bl**dy life.
I'm UK by the way.

SEAN......im sorry for what happened to you and your girlfriend but you were beaten up and physically abused....NOT smacked. there is a huge difference.

FERDAWORD......What a load of s**t you talk. When kids where smacked all those years ago and discipline was spare the rod and spoil the child....did you ever hear of any school being attacked by kids with guns and knives?
NO, you didn't.!!.....They will be YOUR kids because they have had their own way for too long because you have been far too soft with them....What planet do you live on?...PLeeeese!!

INFORMATION POLICE..............There is a huge difference in the rubbish you said. The people you work with have been kids and have already been brought up....and most probably spanked by their parents too.
Kids are being taught discispline, the difference between right and wrong. They have to learn that BEFORE they can go out into the big working world. Get a life man!

Answer 2

My kids are too old for me to spank now (12, 16, 18), but I did when they were younger. However, it was used as a last resort ONLY. Sometimes everything else I tried didn't work, loss of privileges, time out, grounding, extra chores, etc. Sometimes it was the only thing that would get their attention when nothing else did. No, beating a child is not right, but spanking is something else again, and the government needs to butt out (no pun intended!). There are many more important things that they need to be worrying about. I've heard of kids calling or threatening to call 911, and that's not right, if it's for being disciplined like every child should be. If the child was being abused, then by all means, report it, but for a spanking, no.

Answer 3

When my kids were younger, like 2 or 3, I would give them a little swat on the butt..but unfortunately, it didn't do any good..Instead I found other ways that were more effective to get the point across that they were being "naughty"... I found that by spanking, it gave them the idea that it was ok to hit people..now, I don't want to sound like a goody two shoes, I was spanked as a child, and I am fine, and if that is what others need to do, that is their choice, but for me, spanking never really got me anywhere, and my kids are better behaved w/o me resorting to that form of discipline.

I do agree that they will have a lot of kids calling 911, and the parents that are good parents, will now be looked upon as abusers..which isn't right...a swat on the butt every now and then isn't the end of the world, however, I do agree that there are parents that cross the line into abuse, and unfortunately, those are the ones that never seem to get "in trouble", because half the time, the kids are too scared to speak up...

Answer 4

I am not a 'hitter.' Frankly, I can tolerate a 'swat' if a child reaches for something on a hot stove; or reaches into a fan. However...I am concerned that a lot of questions on Y/A are from S&M-type folks who 'get off' on bare-bottom spankings of their children. That is not good! Get your spouse to consent to a 'bare bottom spanking.' If your spouse enjoys it; and you 'get off' on it; then everybody is happy! And you do not have to involve a small child in your "pleasure!" The small child will appreciate this, as well!

Answer 5

I was spanked on the butt as a child when I misbehaved. I believe that a child maybe spanked on the butt and the butt only. There are kids out there that think if they don't get their way hey I will call 911 and see what they do. Look at the younger generations and what they get away with, people are afraid to spank their child. Kids today get away with back talking and hitting the PARENTS. The older generations turned out fine!

Answer 6

I agree with elsie on this one, I have a son and daughter and he must have been smacked a few times a day, he was a little devil, on the other hand I smacked my daughter just once. I was smacked as a child myself and we are proof it didn't do us any harm. Many years ago while going through all the checks to adopt a child I had 2 social workers at the house and I told them the same as what I've put here, they saw what my children were like in their own home environment and guess what I got passed to adopt. My son has 2 children of his own and they are brought up the same and we are always told how polite and well behaved they are and they are.
Well said elsie.

Answer 7

I agree with "Sincityq"

Spanking is a social issue, to be determined by society.
Government needs to back off. I choose not to spank my child as a disciplinary method, but my brother spanks his daughter. Both of our girls are happy, well adjusted children. Neither of them is abused.
This decision is a parents right. But once a parent has seriously hurt a child, then he has crossed over the line into abuse and he should no longer have rights over his child.
And that is where Govn't comes in. Because child abuse is a crime, and the government governs. So it all makes sense.
If your going to spank, do it with care and love.

Answer 8

First, let me say that I have not seen the proposal. I am not from Mass. Based on what you and others here say, It seems to me to be an incredible intrusion into the fundamental right to parent your children. Those who point to cases of abuse overlook the fact that type of abuse is already illegal. Part of the problem is that the social welfare system cannot handle the real cases of abuse that are already occurring. If we place the added burden of having them handle every case where a parent spanks a child then the system certainly will break down.

It would certainly be nice if they could adequately define abuse and then enforce those laws rather than simply outlaw any type of physical punishment for your child.

Answer 9

Tough question and one that not only has moral implications but in how much power the state should have in telling parents how to raise their children.

Personally, I think that spanking is something that should be reserved for only the most serious of offenses and then, done only sparingly. I do not see how spanking in public is anything but bad... just like we generally don't have sex in front of our neighbors.

Bottom line, this is a practice that is rooted deep in our history and in many cases, our faiths. It should be carefully considered as a social question that can only be resolved with in society, by society and not by legislation. Writing laws to make criminals of parents who are following their best instincts is not the answer.

All of the above, of course, does not excuse out and out abuse either. That is a separate issue.

Answer 10

I totally agree with you. I don't think spanking your child will harm them in the long run, as long as you don't go over board and start beating them. I was also spanked as a child when I did something that could have gotten myself or someone else hurt- like running into the street without looking or putting a butter knife into an electrical socket (I tried to get my brother to do this). I am now a contributing to society adult. I think spanking (not beating) is useful in raising children.