Happily Married People Only?

Question

What do you think makes your marriage work so well? What are some tips that you would give to a newly wed couple?

Answer 1

tip of the day. and everyday.

no matter how solid you think your marriage may be, no matter how happy you think you are, your status of 'happily married' can change to 'recently divorced' before the blink of an eye.

people who are married for a while and in 'cruise control', most of them think it's a very solid ground. earthquake looms underneath and can split open the ground at any minute.

you're one depression, one 'temptation', and you're one 'had too many drinks' away from losing years of love and trust.

marriage, any marriage, no matter how much love, how much emotions, how many years are involved is a thin fragile crystal wine glass. we sometimes carry it like it's unbreakable plastic glass that we bang around in the party, but in reality, one bump may shatter it.

treat your marriage as if it is that fragile, and you'll never take your spouse for granted and treasure every moment you have with your spouse... because the moment can be lifetime or just a minute away from being gone.

Answer 2

1) It's not all about you. You give up part of yourself to be part of something larger. That means you can't just live life the way you did as a single person, and there's another life you need to account for.

2) When in doubt, go the extra mile. It's crucial to be more considerate to your spouse than anybody else in the world. Never take his/her feelings for granted.

3) Never lie about anything. Marriages are built on trust. If you lie about money or anything else, it festers and grows.

4) Speaking of money, be very conservative in how you spend it. Separate checking accounts are slow death in a marriage. Put your paychecks into one account, then take 10% off the top IMMEDIATELY to put into savings. Don't wait until you've paid the bills because, amazingly, there's never money left over. Never make a major purchase without discussing it first and, if you have debt on credit cards, pay those first.

5) The In-Law Thing. Your in-laws are now part of your family, whether you like it or not. Therefore, they have to have equal consideration in everything from holidays to whatever else. At the same time, never allow your family to get between you and your spouse. The biggest argument my wife and I ever had (Actually only one of two arguments in 16 years of marriage) happened when my wife paid more attention to my mother-in-law than me on our home renovation.

6) Children are guests in your lives. Yes, they'll suck up all your time and energy. But remember who you started the marriage with. Your spouse should always be your first priority.

7) Take care of yourself. Physically, emotionally, and intellectually. While the two of you are a couple, you need to be an individual, too, with a career, hobbies, and friends.

8) Disagree nicely. No matter how close you are, there will be the inevitable disagreements over things. Listen carefully to what your spouse is saying, and discuss their point respectfully. Then state your point, expecting equal respect. Then work out a compromise. Arguments only happen when one person refuses to listen to the other.

9) Have lots of sex. Make it a point to burn up the sheets. Don't make your spouse be the instigator. Try new things. Find out what turns your better half on. Then do it enthusiastically.

Answer 3

The best tip I can give you is that when you argue, no matter what the topic, make the D word (Divorce) forbidden. Don't get mad and say stuff like you are leaving. Things like that said in anger can really corrupt your relationship. Take leaving completely out of the equation and you will be amazed at how you both can compromise without all the drama. You will both feel secure and know you are building a life together. Having a really good sense of humor helps alot too! Best wishes to you both!

Answer 4

Love, patience, compromise, you should be able and willing to talk about anything and everything, hide nothing, put yourself in each other's shoes sometimes, let the small stuff go, don't hold a grudge. Once the dispute is over, let it go, and never bring it up in another dispute. Apologize when you should and even sometimes when you shouldn't. Remember you are a team, not in competition with each other. Know you will have bad days. Just remember that it will get better as long as you are talking to each other and listening to each other. Laughter. Have fun, flirt like you did before marriage. Talk like you are best friends, because you are.

Answer 5

It takes effort to make a marriage work. It also takes communicating with each other honestly. Some people seem to think that when they get married and get that little piece of paper, no more effort is required... and they just let things go. That's a huge mistake... I made that one myself in my first marriage. My second marriage is beyond wonderful... we both work at our marriage, we communicate all the time, and we are both very honest with each other. We've been married now for 8 years, and love each other more deeply than when we started out... it's only gotten better!! Best of luck to you...!!

Answer 6

Always be willing to listen, to talk, support each other.You will argue, everyone does.But don't let the argument carry on for days.I think my marriage of 17 years has worked because we have so much in common.And don't let other people in on your arguments, sort it out between yourselves.Some well meaning people can mix your head up, giving you ideas when you are at your most vulnerable.
Say "I love you" every day and mean it.And don't slip into bad habits by taking each other for granted.Best of luck.x

Answer 7

Congratulations. Honesty and communications will keep your marriage strong. Life will eventually start getting in the way, so if your in the habit of setting 30 minutes a day for just one on one time without any interferences, you will have a long loving marriage.

Answer 8

love, trust, honesty, communication, my mother once told me "never let the sun go down on an arguement" the best piece of advice i ever heard. working at it together every day. little things like my husband and i send each other txts every day from work just to say I Love You. we also try to have a date night with each other once a fortnight, time for us the rules include not talking about the kids. We had had some very difficult times over the last twelve years, but we were both determined to work our way through them together.

Answer 9

Most of the answers here that I read are very good. My recipe for a great marriage is simple. You have to be each other's BEST FRIEND. Be open and honest, establish and maintain trust. It ok to argue, just fight fair. No namecalling, or dragging other people into it. And always treat each other as EQUALS.

Answer 10

1. "Foresaking all others" means parents, friends, even sometimes children. If spouse freaks out about some silly thing over the holidays - side with spouse. You can talk about it later, but side with spouse.

2. Only yell at each other if the house is on fire.

3. Make a decision to listen to each other's day - ask questions and be interested.