did I blow out of proportion???

Question

My husband dont compliments me at all...and I just found that he been complimenting women here allot...and its really hurting me, feels like I am not attravtive at all...So i told him that i need a time and space that were going to seperated...and we have two kids. What should I do?

Answer 1

Think this through, you are saying you are breaking up your family because your husband doesn't tell you that you look nice? Men are boobs alot of the time, and need to be trained to give compliments. Do you mean he is complimenting women he doesn't know on the computer? Nameless, faceless women who may not be women at all? The computer is a fantasy world, that's your competition, not these women. Instead of whining about it, not to mention destroying your kids lives, why don't you fix yourself up, and seduce your husband the way you did when you were dating. Marriage gets old if you don't constantly engage each other, and it has to start with you, since you are the unhappy one.

Spend time with your husband, and if need be, get rid of the computer. Its your marriage, its up to you to save it. Yes, you blew this out of proportion, and you need to apologize to him.

Answer 2

A lot of people are telling you not to separate, but I don't know if staying is going to change anything.

Knowing how we women work, we want the man to compliment us when he truly means it, not when we want him to say it, otherwise it doesn't mean anything.

So, I would stay a while and see what he does with things. Does he keep on complimenting other women and neglecting you, or does he show you he cares in different ways?

If you are still unhappy then you do what is best.

Answer 3

You see i believe there is nothing in this world that communication cannot solve. And I think there's very little communication or almost non in your marriage, or there are other underlying issues that you guys are not talking about. I think you need to talk to your husband and let him know what he's doing that's hurting. For all you know he's probably very clueless about how you feel. You know the way it is- it's very easy to get so used to the people around you to the point of taking them for granted and not complimenting them. It just goes to prove the saying that you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone. Talk about it, hear his side, and see if there's anything about the way you look/dress that he doesnt totally approve of. All the best.

Answer 4

Coming from a former wife who asked his husband (rest in peace)to leave the home , you're reaction is premature and should not be resorted without much thought and discussion with your husband.

If you feel he has not complimented you more , ask yourself , have you done something so he compliments you more ? Sometimes men thinks by being married to us , thats saying much that we are better than any woman because we got them . Man always, after they marry us , put us in pedestal , and not utter any corny jokes or compliments that we may mean to be chicky . They only talk to us like standard conversation and leave the cajoling and flowery words to other girls or women , but it does not mean they like them , its the boy in them . They think the flirting and the teasing is only for other ladies not for the wife. Maybe we wives also set that tone . So if you want some teasing , flirting and some flowery words from him , its for women to set the mood and environment.

Sorry to say ,but thats what most men wants , they tell us not to dress showing cleavage and legs but they go to clubs or bars where girls don't have any clothing . They don't want us to laugh loud and talk loud but they want to be with girls that could joke and tease with them .

But these doesn't mean you leave the husband and let your children live life without their father . Its too shallow a reason to destroy your family and lives of your children .

Answer 5

communication plays a big part of a relationship. and you have 2 kids. i say sit him down, talk to him, tell him how you feel& ask him if he has a problem with you, ask why do he not compliment

you, do he fine you attractive. ask if the love is still there. if he says no on all, then it's time to move on. but in a respectable manner, no drama, just tell him what does he think about legal separation& if he thinks there is a solution. i say all this because of the kids, they come 1st. good luck to you.

Answer 6

Mine's the same way, and it does hurt. He claims to me he doesn't know what to say, but he sure knows what to say to everybody else!
I have to say, I do believe it's a red flag. In and of itself it's nothing, but once you mix it with other stuff that I bet's going on there, it's a big sign that things are heading in the wrong direction.
Does he speak supportive and encouraging to the kids? If he does NOT, he might just feel he has to put on an act around others bu can let his hair down around you. Too much so.

Answer 7

if it were just the two of you, I'd say follow what you want to do and split if you felt like he wasn't working out the way you wanted. but the deal is, you have kids now. it would be completely selfish that you decided to split for a while because you were unhappy. now that you have kids, its your responsibility, as well as his to work things out, talk, and hopefully solve this situation. i really mean SOLVE the situation and bring back the love because there is nothing sadder then a loveless marriage for two kids to grow up in. kids need a father and a mother, it shouldn't be about you as much as them.

Answer 8

Maybe there is a lot more going on as I don't feel someone would leave their spouse for the reason you gave. My advice: talk to him about how you feel, but develop your own self, read books which will improve your self-esteem. You don't have to get compliments from anyone to feel good about yourself.

Answer 9

while i feel you have a right to feel mad at him...you are a mother and wife you don't leave a man over this. You set him down let him know your feelings are hurt. You don't pack up and tear the kids away from their dad because he don't tell you your pretty often enough. I can't belive any women would leave over this.

Answer 10

sit down and talk ok i know with kids its hard to be romantic all the time but spice things up a bit look sexy 4 him IE the clothes or lack of Remember ack to when you met. Did he complement you then