we would argue over small, little, unimportant things.. like when i was asking for payment from someone who owed me money , i wrote ''where the hell is my payment'' and we fought because of that usage of word hell.. he also doesnt like me to have myspace or facebook because he said they are useless and stupid. there was a time he had facebook once so i wrote him sweet comments on his profile and the next day, he deleted his account! he was so unappreciative.. i also cannot watch porn because he said its a sin, he doesnt like me swearing or utter bad words etc.. hes a christian and he didnt show all this until we married..other than this flaws, hes kind, sweet, good provider and i know he loves me deeply.. shall i leave him? his narrow mindedness is killing me day after day..
2007-11-27 21:54:56 · 17 answers · asked by M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have been married for a year and a half and no children yet.. is that enough to leave him? but where shall i go to? my friends and family are so far away..advices pls!
2007-11-27 21:56:21 · update #1
From what you mentioned, I think these are all little problems that can be resolved, they are not big at all, talk to him about how he feels about porn, myspace, and facebook, and see if you guys can work something out, I am not going to say go to counseling, because all these "problems" you mentioned, are not that bad yet, and if you tried to communicate with him, then hopefully you will get everything out in the open and come to some conclusion about these issues.
My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we have learned to tackle these obstacles by communicating and talking, no arguments, no hissy fits, no blaming, no temper tantrums, just talking and communicating!!!!
2007-11-27 22:09:45 · answer #1 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest mistake you made was getting married. Marriage tends to ruin 99% of relationships. I say 99% just in case there is still some hope a marriage can actually be a happy marriage. You don't have children so you should end it and never get married again. Before you make another mistake here are the facts of life that you obviously have not learned yet:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.
2007-11-28 00:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are mismatched and need serious counseling. I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who would give up childish things like myspace and facebook, as well as porn watching and cursing to have a kind, sweet, good provider like your husband. Either grow up, or leave him so he can find someone who appreciates a man opposed to a boy. What ever you do, don't reproduce, you don't need to be someones mother.
2007-11-27 22:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he would drive me nuts too. I would suggest that you get out while you can - and before you have kids.
If he concealed his prudish views from you deliberately before you married, then this is because he could see that you would find them unacceptable. This means that he deceived you, and is therefore a complete hypocrite.
He may have good qualities, but you cannot allow him to eat away at your spirit with his narrow and jugemental attitudes.
You could try telling him that you will respect his views and opinions provided that he does not foist them on you, but it is unlikely that this will work. People with rigid and dogmatic views such as this tend to believe that God is on their side, and that they are always right. He probably wants to save your soul at the same time as he is crushing it.
2007-11-27 22:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband, and you chose him. It is not like he is cheating on you, or beating you up. Try to get some marriage counseling before you get pregnant. Try to make the marriage work. You have not really given this as much of an effort as you should. How long did you think the rest of your life would be when you took those vows anyway???
2007-11-27 22:01:56 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he will change. He might be kind and a good provider, but he is also trying to control you. He does not have that right, just because he's your husband. I can only see two things happening here. 1. You will either have to put up with it, or 2. leave him sooner rather that later. I'm sure your family will take you in till you get yourself back on your feet.
2007-11-27 22:09:07 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea H 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow! Was this an arranged marriage? Were you comatose at the wedding or what? You don't seem to know this man at all! Try to clean up your act and be a bit demure and see how it goes, marriage is not a game of "house" and then everyone goes home, you are home, so try to make a stable lasting marriage.
2007-11-27 22:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
OK, this is my opinion, but...
If it is this bad after a year and a half... what will it be like in five years?
You say it is killing you day after day, but in five years you maybe really dying inside and then with kids you will feel trapped and dying.
If you can't work this out then leaving now will be easier than later.
2007-11-27 22:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by eric_the_red_101 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to be more submissive to your husband and not argue. This will help your relationship out a lot. Plus he is taking care of you!! Ofcourse you should not leave him! You shouldn't use foul language either b/c that offends people.
2007-11-27 22:15:11 · answer #9 · answered by Little Angel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wife swapping lol Well, to not be narrow minded... Is to see that not everything in like is black or white. There are grey areas too! To have an educated opinion, to be able to agree to disagree. To be open to suggestion on everything. To not be so rigid in your thinking. To consider that things are not always as they might appear to be!
2016-05-26 05:00:13 · answer #10 · answered by milagro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋