I sunk to checking my partner's email. Something that I am not proud of but it highlighted something that I had feared but had never been able to find any proof of.
I found out that my partner has had an emotional relationship with another man (for over a year now), with whom she had physically been with before we started our relationship.
They live in other countries so meeting is not an option at the moment but I feel betrayed by her emotional intimacy with another man. She describes it as their 'problem' because he is in a loveless marriage and they both feel that they are in love with two people at the same time.
I am not going to tell her that I checked her email because I know it was wrong (even if it did confirm my fears) but I am having a hard to coming to terms with ending the relationship. Especially since she keeps telling me that she will do anything to make our relationship work.
Has anyone else been in a similar relationship and has some advice?
2007-11-27 21:04:53 · 6 answers · asked by Favour 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ANYONE WHO COULD CHEAT ON YOU DURING COURSHIP WOULD DO SO AFTER MARRIAGE.
Favour, I was in your position precisely seven years ago, I just had the fears without any evidence, but, because I loved her dearly, I confronted her with my fears. At first, she denied it, but at last, she confessed to me amidst tears. I forgave and compelled her to be faithful to me, but, barely two months after; I noticed similar traces and I called it quit because I wasn't ready to gamble with my heart and life. About a year and half later, she came back begging for almost three years, but, she was not worth my love.
If you love her, give her a chance to express the depth of her love to you; so, ask her if there's anything in her past or present she wants you to know about. If she fails to tell you the truth, let her know you have the fears that she may be cheating on you, and observe her reactions, but don't be specific. If she owns up to it and confessess with remorse, commend her courage and honesty by forgiving, trusting and loving her more; but be MORE OBSERVANT AND SENSITIVE.
On the other hand, if she denies it vehemently like most ladies do, Favour, it's time you broke up from that relationship and moved on with your life. So, let her know about your discovery and see the time spent with her as a bad dream. But, I'll tell you that if you don't trust someone in love, then, they are not worth your love.
More importantly, pls, bear this axiom on mind: anyone who could cheat on a partner during courtship will definitely cheat on them after marriage. So, be wise and courageous to move on if she denies it.
2007-11-28 00:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by everforlove1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront her. You have a right to know if she is emotionally involved with another man, and you already had your suspicions. Suggest that you and she both get marriage counseling before you make any drastic moves. Perhaps you can fill that void that she had when she felt it necessary to become emotionally entangled with the other man. There is always a void when that happens to a woman. Women are usually not looking to fulfill just sexual needs when they cheat. They are more times than not, try to fulfill an emotional void in their life. Perhaps you don't even realize the need is there. Counseling would help you both to understand each other better.
2007-11-27 21:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her. Let her know that you know what she has been doing and why you had those fears. Let her know that her emotional relationship with this man is hurting any chance you guys have for a future and if she continues to talk to him then let her go. Because having no woman is better than having a piece of a woman.
2007-11-27 22:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by donaldson1108 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, its up to how you feel, do you really think she can earn back your trust, if so there is a chance. Do not stay with her if all trust is broken as it will eat you up and a year or two down the track you'll be more miserable than you are now, good luck!
2007-11-27 21:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by misstth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so u comfortable being the other guy??? don't u deserve being the first in a relationship??
yeah u scared of ending things but u need to really evaluate things
are u going to be happy playing second fiddle?? and having half a women??
2007-11-27 21:39:21 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its over u can never trust her again
2007-11-27 21:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by just me 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋