Was it an affair?

Question

My ex had naked fotos of a female friend whom he also works with and when i found them, dumped him.

He's now calling and says it wasn't an affair. She sent them to him and he just hadn't got around to deleting them. I'm not buying it but do wonder.

I mean, I would never send such pix of myself to anyone, not even him. But does that mean that if she did, they're not necessarily having an affair?

Either way, I still think it's inappropriate. Am I alone in thinking that?

Answer 1

First off, the word affair is only used when speaking about a married couple. Since you used the word dump and not divorce, it is apparent that you were not married.

In this crazy world, anything is possible. This chick could have been obsessed and sent nude pictures to him in hopes that they could be together. He could be entirely innocent and have never slept with her.

In actuality, I would bet 3 to 1 that he did cheat on you with her.

Answer 2

Yes, there are sleezy girls everywhere, willing to show themselves naked to any men - it's disgusting. It was very inappropriate, but maybe he didn't have sex with her. It's strange he's just now coming up with this story. (is the affair now over?) He needs a lie detector test. Maybe he found out the grass isn't greener on the other side.

Read Divorce Busters book and look at the website www.survivinginfidelity.com; biblicalresearchreports.com; restoredmarriages.org; faithandmarriage.com; stopdivorce.org

He needs to confront this woman in front of you (so you know it's over) and tell her never to call, email, text msg, write, EVER again and that she is to talk nothing but business at work. Actually, if she is still working there, he needs to find another job.

Save every shred of evidence of the affair in case you need it for another divorce court. Know all about her - where she lives, who her family are, friends and neighbors, minister, church are. Because if she doesn't agree to leave him alone, you can apply social pressure by telling her parents, boss, friends, minister what a trashy homewrecker she is. I hear some women are suing the other woman nowadays, too.

The Divorce Busters book tells how to handle the cheater, the cheating, and the other woman if you want him back.

Joy to you!

Answer 3

It's irrelevant. You don't have to sleep with someone to have an affair. An affair is when you betray your partners trust. He did that by not telling you about them. If he'd deleted them immediately and not told you because he didn't want to hurt you then that would have been semi-plausible, however unlikely. But the fact is, he didn't. He didn't "get around" to deleting, he kept them. And he didn't tell you. That's called cheating, and it's every bit as bad as if he did sleep with her.

Note that that's the absolute best possible scenario, I don't know the situation but I'd say it's a virtual certainty that he slept with her. I think he's doing the usual guy trick by trying to make you feel like the problem is somehow with you because you're not trusting him. And so you shouldn't, you caught his a** red-handed and he knows it. Don't let this sorry a**hole make you believe that he's somehow the victim here.

At the other end of the spectrum, I know a couple who are swingers and sleep with other partners. They have rules about what they can each do, and so long as they stick to those rules they're adement that it's not "cheating" because they're both consenting. That's a lot further than I'd go myself (and you too, I'm sure), but it does illustrate the point, albeit in a totally different way, that cheating is not about sex. It's about trust. No matter which way you choose to look at it, he betrayed your trust. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life going through his photos wondering when this is going to happen again? And don't forget, HIV is still out there, do you love this guy enough to expose yourself to a totally unknown level of infection risk?

Answer 4

Ha ha ha, so he kept fotoz of a naked woman. Believe me, affair or not most men will keep naked fotoz of u if u send them. Doesnt mean anything. The question here is she sent them to him. Maybe she wanted to entice him, or maybe there's an affair.

The pics dont prove anything. If u sent me naked pics of u I'd keep them even if there's nothing between us. That's men 4 u

Answer 5

Absolutely....in no way go back to this guy as he should have:
A/ Deleted the photos as soon as they were sent and
B/ Their relationship has got to the stage where she feels comfortable sending nude photos of herself....If they had a professional relationship at work it's unlikely the photos would have been sent.
C/ Your ex is quite likely to be unfaithful again and may encourage such relationships at work... you'll also be torturing yourself on whether he's being faithful to you or not if you got back together with him...is it really worth it?
I personally would move on, and find someone who cares enough for you to respect your relationship, and who you can trust outside your relationship!

Answer 6

It depends what u call an affair, i wouldnt llike my man to have nude pictures of a friend. Why has he? mmmm tricky one. I think havin an affair is doing anythin behind someones back. But some people would not agree with me. But i think havin nude pictures of a friend is not right. They must of thought other thoughts of each other to have them in the first place. Well now your not with him any longer, so put it down to a bad experience and move on, your better of without if u ask me.

Answer 7

WAKE UP. You obviously haven't learned the following:

1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.

Answer 8

No it is inappropriate. If hes with you he shouldnt be looking at naked photos of a female friend. Pop/film stars i can understand (everyone is allowed a fantasy) but not someone he knows. They may not have had an affair....yet. Probably just doing alot of flirting. But as they say theres no smoke without fire.

Answer 9

if they r or were not having an affair he would have never gotten the photos second if they were not having an affair he would have been offended or afraid of you finding them therefore he wouldve deleted them without even looking at them and if he thought it was important work email he woulve opened it yes but then seeing what it was deleted immediately you did the right thing i mean how many are there you dont know about

Answer 10

Please how many men do you know that would have nude pictures of someone he knows and he isn't having sex with her. Your not thinking clearly and he is counting on that and will use that in his favor. Of course you want to believe him but lets get real the only way a woman would send nude pictures to a guy is if she feels comfortable around him and has been sleeping with him for awhile. If one of your friends came to you with this same story what would you tell her. Your guy has been cheating on you you can bet your life on it.