My son is 14 and wants to go to a birthday party this Saturday from 6PM to 12PM, there isn't going to be any adults there and recently he has started doing things with his girlfriend. There is going to be something like 50 people at this party, and I feel he shouldn't go. Am I being old? Please help me because I hate arguing with my kids. :'(
2007-11-27 19:22:29 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
His father passed away about 7 and a half years ago now.
2007-11-27 21:23:48 · update #1
Talk to the parents of the birthday kid find out where they will be?
Is your son's girlfriend going ask her parents what they think of the idea.
Your son may not want to go if she isn't going.
Go inside the party just for a few minutes and pick him up at the time you feel appropriate for your son if you decide to let him go.
In the end if you feel he shouldn't go at all he has to put up with no as you are his mother.
IT IS NOT OLD TO WANT TO KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE.
You could find something to do with your son that he enjoys just as much as the party like seeing a movie.
2007-11-27 19:42:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
I personally think you shouldn't allow your son go. There isn't going to be any adults there and 50 kids. Which means the kids can do what they want when they want! Also if they are 50 people going it will most likely get gate crashed by older people, who could have drugs, alchol and basically be a bad influence and your son just might end up with drugs or alchol. You are doing the right thing if you tell him not to go. You may just have to argue with him! You're not being old by telling him he can't go.
I have had paties in the past and only invited bout 30 people and they always get gate crashe and one of my parties I had 400 people there who I didn' know or didn't invite. It doesn't matter if you have a time when all the people you know go home, gate crashers don't care!!! Good Luck
2007-11-27 22:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My daughter is nearly 3, and when I remember back to when I was a teenager it fills me with dread as I know whats going to happen when she reaches that age! Meltdown!
But all is not lost. Try and compromise instead of saying no he cant go, let him go but insist on an earlier time of maybe 6pm-10pm? Then when he wants to argue and push the time up you have room to take it to maybe 10.30pm or possibly 11pm.
Also if he is starting a more serious relationship and yhou think its going to get more physical Id ask dad for a quick chat if you dont feel comfortable, nothing embaressing, just remind him it is illegal for girls under 16 to do anything more than kissing etc and advice.
Its your son who would end up in trouble if things went wrong. Also offer him condoms if you still feel he is going to have sex anyway. At least your protecting them both against disease and pregnancy.
2007-11-27 20:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by Hannah 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I would NOT let him go to the party if there is no adult supervision. I know that it is not good to argue with your son, but if there is no adult superviion, you do not know what is going to happen to your son, they may be some odd reason that alcohol may be there, and other illegal stuff. IF his girlfriend is going to be there, they may have sex, and he is way to young (as well as his girlfriend) to have sex. SInce there are going to be 50 people like you stated in your details, there is a good chance that one of the people may bring some alcohol, and your son may be cosuming the alcohol, and also they may be smoking tobacco products, and smoking the illegal stuff, and may also be doing drugs. If he was my son, I will NOT allow him to go to the party UNLESS there is going to be adult supervison. DO not allow your son to go, have him stay home for his safety.
2007-11-28 03:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Pauly W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not with no adult supervision especially if the guests are going to be in the same age category. Who would drive if someone needs to go to the hospital, etc. There is also a liability issue here too. If someone gets hurt or killed in this home, the party hosts parents are liable and could face a lawsuit. Fourteen is not eighteen and you are still the parent. What you say, goes.
Do the homeowners know that a party will be going on in their home??? You might want to notify them so that they can either be home or forbid it from happening. You might just save them from a lawsuit.
2007-11-27 21:35:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No you aren't being too old, but to your teenager you're being 'annoying'. Listen to him. Ask him why its important for him to go. At this age he needs you to trust him. Do that. Make him promise he'll be home at a set time, say 11. Oh and yeah let him know a party is no place to 'do things' with his girlfriend, if you're worried about that.
If you really have a bad feeling for this, just tell him so. Tell him why you're worrying and maybe do something with him or promise him an alternative. You're a mom, you know how to work em :)
Hope whatever works out, works out for the best.
Regards.
2007-11-27 20:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by shax1787 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no no no no NO!- I'm 14 and i used to go to those parties. D o you have any idea what 50 kids with no suppervision can do?? THE BIGGEST MISTAKES OF THEIR LIVES! Yea, he'll be missing out on a 'GOOD' party but he'll also miss out on becoming a teenage dad and a druggie. be more protective of your son. It's just disgusting to read that your son already started doing things with his gf. BLAH! He Sound like a typical teenager that can fall into a pit any minute now.
2007-11-28 10:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by [insert name here] 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sorry no adults my kids dont go
my kids also arent permitted to date so young either. tighten those reins before some girl is at your door saying shes pregnant by him.
why are you arguing your the boss act like it tell him no and be done with it your not their friend. you need to put a stop to him and the girlfriend too. and soon, hes too young.
added
if you knowingly send him to a party and the cops get called and your child is arrested you can be charged for the crime he committed because you knew it was unsupervised and you allowed him to attend anyway. where i live the parents are held liable for all thier kids actions until 18. some cases the child is charged and not the parent but the parents are still the ones who should have known where their jkids were and what they were doing
2007-11-28 00:59:42 · answer #8 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Always trust your instinct. You're not being "old." Atleast he was honest with you about the whole no supervision thing....but i know I should have had supervision when i was 14! But i didnt....and now im 19 with a 13 month old, and im 7 months pregnant again. (my babies are my world), but maybe if i would have had more guidelines and guidance....i would be a different person. Think about that before you let your 14 yr old son go to an unsupervised party with his girlfriend. Be a parent...not a friend.
2007-11-27 19:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Jada and Ty's mommy 3 · 5⤊ 3⤋
If there will be no parental or otherwise responsible adult supervision at this party, you should not let your son go. This party is likely to include underage drinking, smoking, and plenty of opportunity for lewd behavior and sexual activities.
2007-11-28 02:19:03 · answer #10 · answered by souldoctor 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋