Mental abuse turning Physical?

Question

Let me start by saying, This is a new name for privacy reasons.I am not a troll..I need help.

I have been with my husband for 13 years, married 11. Over the past couple of years things have gone from bad to worse. He is all the time calling me lazy, stupid, dumb btch, along with many others..Just tonight he called me lazy cause i didnt want to go to the store for him. He says i never do anything yet I am the one cooking,cleaning,taking care of kids, helping with homework ect..

Yet this man, works nights, comes in at 6am, sleeps, gets up and leave and stays out with buddies or hunting until time to go to work again

Tonight, I just snapped, I had enough of the verbal and i hit him, in the chest and told him im sick of this..I think it just stunned him cause he just left the house and went to work.

This worries me because i am not a violent person, i just had enough.

I know i need to leave but have no job and no family i can stay with...

I need suggestions!!

also, i have reason to believe he is cheating.

I have 2 children under the age of 10, this is really what bothers me the most..I dont want my daughter to witness anymore of this..I want to get out of here but i need help

alpha, you are blessed.Unfortunatly i have asked him to help me out and of course his excuse...I work all night..He refuses to even keep the kids for me to go out and do anything..I have not been out of the house without kids in months.

alpha it is not showing you messaged me and your name doesnt have i/m enabled

Answer 1

Sounds like he needs to step up and be a man. I am assuming he helped create those kids and he needs to help you with them. I know you have heard the "I work and the kids are your job" thats not right. He should atleast help out some. Granted he may be tired depending one what he does. But my "husband" is a truck driver, I had the same problem. I told him I wasn't his f'n mother and if he wanted someone like his mother to go live with her. LOL I am blunt straight forward and to the point. You do not deserve to be treated that way. YOU are the mother of HIS children. YOU majke sure everyone is fed. YOU get up in the mornings and see them off to school (if the go). YOU go to the grocery store, YOU do the laundry, YOU make sure dishes are done for him to be able to eat.
Being a stay at home mother is having 2 fulltime jobs. Thats hardly lazy. Motherhood is not for wimps and obviously he can't handle it cause he's hunting with the boys, running the roads. Try to set him down and talk to him about everything. You probably just freaked him out realllly good, he'll be fine he's a big boy. Go listen to the song "Love needs a Holiday" by REBA, yeah its country.
If my hubby can come home from driving 5,000 miles a week and help me around the house with our 3 kids, 3 dogs and 2 cats, 1 fish, cook, clean, laundry, let me sleep in, and still be there at the kid's doctor's appointments then yours can too. Gotta love the over the road truck drivers. If you got it a driver brought it!!! Have a good one and I hope things work out. Just don't whack him anymore, walk away is best.

We have a 3 year old daughter, 2 year old son (his) and a 5 month old daughter. I wouldn't say anything about the cheating thing just yet, keep it under your hat and see what comes of it. What proof do you have. I have yahoo IM if ya need me!

****how long has this been going on? him staying gone?
The kids may be just him using them to keep you at home and close in fear you will stray like he MAY be doing. Not accusing either.

do you have messenger? if so turn it on i messaged you on there

Answer 2

Yeha, I would snap too. You could apologize hitting is wrong. Verbal abuse wrong too, which according to you he did. Tell him how you feel about those words and the reason why you did it was because it hurt you so much.

Hubby and I work 12 hour shifts, sounds like he does too.

He does need to spend time with you and the kids and also give you a break.

Cheating...work with the first two issues then worry if he is cheating or not..I bet he isn't since he is"out hunting all the time"

Answer 3

OPTIONS:

-Call your minister for help and or counseling.

-Is he drinking? That can make him mean.

-Is he cheating? Do you really know where he goes with his buddies? Read the book Divorce Busters. It tells how to deal with cheaters, cheating, and the other woman.

-If you have to separate, call an attorney and see if you can get it that he has to leave the house by court order since you have children and it will be hard to find someone to rent you a place without a job or income.

-Get marital counseling & anger management

-Do not hit him again because he can have you arrested for spousal abuse.

-Look at some of the marriage restoration websites and see if there is anything that will help you. stopdivorce.org; faithandmarriage.com; marriagetoday; biblicalresearchreports.com; restored marriages.org

Hope this helps you - joy to you!

Answer 4

go. I left with 2 kids ages 2 and 4, went to school and made it and that was 20 years ago. The verbal abuse is the worse form of abuse ever. Sometimes I wish my ex would have hit me. Those wounds would have healed. Verbal abuse stays with you and I still have the scars to prove it. It can be buried, but sometimes something can be said to make it rear it's ugly head. Don't stay in an abusive marriage. It's not good for either of you or your children. Good luck

Answer 5

First of all it doesn't matter WHAT he calls you...you have no right to hit him and IF he chose to he could have called the police and had YOU arrested for assault. It is NOT okay for either spouse to it the other one...doesn't matter whether the other spouse is the husband and his being verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive doesn't matter either. In a court of law that won't stand up as reason to become physically violent on your part, and you could loose your kids. First thing I suggest is anger management course, along with Boosting your self esteem, And yes you need to leave, go to a woman's shelter, they will help you get on your feet while keeping your husband away from you...However the only person who can do this is yourself. No one can do it for you.

Answer 6

HAVE you heard of woman's support group's?
and shelter's for this same situation, I woould be packing some thing's just in case, when he get's home he might get pyhsical due to you striking first.
Find a place if you can , and have it readt if you have to leave like in a N.y. minuet.
Why are you accepting that hubred, behavior we are so protected as woman agaist this, now a day's. don't worry about not having a job, there are so many agencie's to help woman , to get back on their feet you would be amazed,
not speaking from experience , but the woman i counsel , have gone throgh this and there is help anywhere in the United State's for us. be safe, Lord Bless you.

Answer 7

If he's cursing and screaming at you, that's verbal abuse. Any variety of abuse can exchange into worse. it unquestionably relies upon on the abuser. He basically does it whilst he's indignant. that's extremely like the bodily abused better halves that declare "properly he loves me yet he basically hits me when I make him indignant.". Doesnt make any experience. If in reality you experience as in case you're being abuse, possibilities are high which you're acceptable and you ought to concentration on it right this moment.

Answer 8

You need to step out of the house and take the kids with you. If you can stay with relatives or anyone who's willing to help you, I'd suggest you take your kids and go. Tell him he has to change his ways and stop being verbally abusive to you or else you will file for divorce and he is going to pay for alimony and he will not see his kids. Verbal abuse is just the same as physical abuse and with kids in the house, they'll grow up thinking this situation is normal.

Answer 9

I'm in the same boat my husband goes to work at 5am and gets home at 130pm he will go to bed till 6pm when dinner is cooked for him or play the computer, we have dinner, he plays the computer, then we have to have a bath, sex, then he goes to bed. i have 2 kids with him and 32weeks pregnant. he has nothing to do with the kids, one he openly dislikes. and every time i say anything to him he manages to turn it all around on me then has me convinced its my fault.

Answer 10

Hon... try therapy.. do it for you.. and if he's a drinker, try Alanon.. they even have a website for help.

Therapy might help you to find some direction and make some goals in your life... it may help you stand on your own two feet and make plans for your own future and a decent life.... sometimes we need someone to talk to who can help us find our own direction.. and therapy works when we work it.

take care.