Who does the chores in this situation?

Question

Let's say 2 people are co-habiting (not married) yet he man makes more so he pays for more of the bills and rent than the woman. Should the woman do something in return like cook more often or clean more often? Assume they both have 9-5 jobs during the day. Please explain your answers. I know people who say yes, and others who say no..

Answer 1

look your living together,it doesn't matter who does what ,or who pays for more stuff.if you ,or her dont feel used and your making it financially then dont sweat the small stuff.your chore my chore crap.if you both work 9-5 then help each other .here s what i mean .in our household one of us makes substantially more that the other ,more than double.but money never comes up.I weed eat and she uses the riding mower,we both cook and clean up usually side by side so we can get it done and go watch TV or something .she does the laundry because i tryed and am now banished from the laundry room for life.Its a team effort ,and if she s not worn out from doing all the house work ,and isn't pissed at you because she feels used ,guess what you mite get lucky for being a nice guy.think about it.

Answer 2

That is a good question, but the answer for me is this.

If two people live together and divide the bills up according to income then that is taken care of.

How are the chores divided up? Well they should be not included in the income/bills part because that is something completely different.

If for example the man is a slob and the woman is extremely neat, then the man should do more of the chores because he is more of a messy person... she should not have to be responsible for his messes.

I think chores and cooking should be put together like income and bills.....

You talk about your likes and dislikes.. if one of you likes to clean and the other likes to cook, then work that out like that. If neither of you want to cook or clean then hire a maid and split the bill in half equally...

I don't like the idea of having to do more chores if I make less money and pay less of the bills... because what about...
If a man has a job where he works 5 hours a day and makes 5 times more than the woman who works 8 hours a day it's not fair that she should have to do more chores either..

I dunno... what is fair is what you both agree on... not what any of us in the forums say.

Just an idea... sit down and have a reasonable talk with your room mate.

Good Luck
xo
Heart

P.S. the reason I don't think it's fair for the one who pays less bills to have to do chores is because if you divide up the bills and pay a percentage of your paycheck to bills like 20%, then the one who makes more money will obviously pay more, because 20% of 1000 is more than 20% of 500. See what I am saying? The bills should be done by a percentage of income, if one pays more than the other... think of doing it that way.

Answer 3

Both people are working full-time so I think it is best if both share the chores and cooking. Often, men needs some training, guidance in this area if they came from a traditional home where their Mom handled most of the cooking / cleaning / laundry. One idea might be to make up a chart.

I once made a Rock the House Chart for my family in which I listed the chores, divided into various days, and color-coated it so that my brothers and I could rotate the chores week to week and that kept everybody involved and no one from being overwhelmed.

Good luck.

Answer 4

That depends. Depends if the man is reliable even if he does pay for most of the bills. It is always a man's responsibility to earn for the family not just the wife. It depends also on the woman if she knows how to do chores (cooking, cleaning, etc) and if she's WILLING to do them regardless if she's also earning. Problems come from spouses who designate chores to one party on reasons of gender or who does more or less as far as finances are concerned. Taking care of the house/ home - chores included is EQUAL responsibility. Men only get away with it by saying its not a man's job or he doesn't know how to do it. I wonder what men would do if all the wives here suddenly decided to go on strike.

Answer 5

If they BOTH work full time jobs then they BOTH should share in the household chores. If you start getting into who makes more money and so that person should have to do less around the house you are going to put a wedge in the middle of the relationship. Does it really matter all that much if you do half of the housework instead of 1/3?

Answer 6

The amount of money made by either is not important here, what is, is time and responsibility Both of you work 9-5 both have the same responsibility at home... both are equal. If you help one another the work time and load will be cut in half giving you more quality time together. You can tell that your young and immature and its good that your not married and just playing house, if you were more mature you wouldn't be on here asking this question. Grow up.

Answer 7

If you have to worry about who contributes the most physical work, because one makes less money than the other, i guess you want a slave or maid (if you are the one making more money).

If you want someone to pitch in and help more (assuming they aren't doing anything much at all) ASK THEM! Make a plan... share responsibilities... just because one person pays more, doesn't mean BOTH don't work full time for the money they make...

And if this is an issue, and you can't come to terms, you must not have much of a relationship, or too many expectations.

that's my best answer.

Answer 8

There's a lot more involved with cooking and cleaning than just writing a check, so in this case your comparing apples to oranges. You have the money situation negotiated -- he makes more than you, so you split it according to percentages and you are contributing your fair share. Done. You both occupy and clutter up that space, and you both need to eat -- share the load. If you were each living on your own, you each would have to clean up your space -- right? Pick one room to clean each night and do it together -- you'll both get done sooner. Same thing with cooking -- you both have to eat -- take turns making your favorites, cook together, clean up together -- that way no one ends up feeling like a live-in housekeeper. Be flexible. Be fair. Be considerate of each other and don't keep score. And if one or the other of you feels put upon, sit down like two adults and discuss and negotiate -- no accusations, etc. This is life -- we all have to cooperate and contribute to survive.

Answer 9

That is up to you and to the two of you. It will be a good test of your ability to work things out satisfactorily. If you earn less than he does, the answer may or may not be that you should do more of the domestic work in your home -- it could be something quite different, such as continuing your education so that you can improve your own earnings. What works best may depend upon the ability each has to shoulder the workload.

Answer 10

it depends. a few year ago we did that for a year or so but he was also working longer hours. but i did it not because he was paying for more, but because he was exhausted. i was trying to give my support for his mental/emotional well-being. but i would've done that anyway even if i was making more. he paid for more to give me support because i did not make enough to cover all our bills but i gave him support because he did not have the time/energy to cover all our house chores.
(actually your question gave me a slightly different perspective)

its about giving support to the one you love, if the other can not give as much due to outside circumstances. & if you are giving out of support then expecting anything in return can cause tensions. and you never know when the role might be reversed.

your example:
but i think we should always strive for some sort of balance. like if the woman can afford to pay for half the bills on her own then why does he have to fork out more just because he makes more. and vica versa. unless he really wants to lovingly support her to be fair, then asking for anything in return is not lovingly supporting her. thats what co-habiting means to me. everything equal but there should be some give & take.