You live with a man who has disrepected you for years, want out but can't afford it. What do you do?

Question

A friend has lived with a man for 12 years, they have 2 kids. He disrespects her, and has done so their whole relationship. She has finally worked it out that she doensn't need to live like that, but can not afford to leave him as she has gone back to university and still needs to feed her kids and pay the rent. Basically, she needs his income to survive. What does she do?

janica... you obviously have no idea about life or what it is like to be in a relationship like that. Maybe you need to quit spending time on here answering questions (over 20000 pts is pretty obsessive) and get a life of your own so that maybe you can give half decent advice. Oh, and by the way... did i once mention him changing??????

Answer 1

She should accept her situation, avoid her husband as much as she can, and stay put.

Ask her to get involved in various activities. Keeping herself busy will take her mind off her relationship. And of course, the kids are there.

I would say your friend can survive that way for many years. Until, of course, she finds someone who does love and respect her for what she is.

Answer 2

There is no reason to put up with a person who is always disrespecting you, there is always a way to support yourself, and the first step is to start believing in yourself, then go forward with it and Never look back. You will one day hear from the children that you are a hero in their eyes too, Children pick up on everything very quickly, and if you continue to let this man disrespect you, your children will soon think this is normal behavior too, good luck to you, and my you find your inter strength.

Answer 3

First thing she should do is get you to quit meddling in her affairs.

Then, if things are truly as bad as she states them to be, she needs to either get him to leave, or leave herself.

If she's put up with it for 12 yrs, she's enabled it, allowed it, even encouraged it, so doing something about it now, other than dissolving the relationship, is pointless. And she should do it NOW, not after university. If she chose to stay with him for his money for 12 yrs, and chooses to stay with him until she's done with college, she should go ahead and stay with him until death does them part.

Answer 4

She will do what most women in her situation do... stay and put up with the abuse for a few more years... she has put up with it for 12... can't she wait 4 more?

I would get out... quit school.... find a job and become independent.. there are choices, there's help... but it easier to stay.

Answer 5

If she's in the UK, there are benefits she can claim as a single parent. She can even work part-time and get assistance. Or, she can take the degree part-time, which will give her more time to work and earn. There are lots of possible solutions.

Answer 6

She only thinks she needs him because he's abused and disrespected her so much.

She needs to start working and find an apartment for her kids and leave ASAP. School can wait another year.

Answer 7

The first thing she should have done is not marry a man that doesn't respect her.

The second thing she should have done is stop the behavior the first time it happened.

Now she's allowed it, seems to like it and puts up with it. Why should he change?

Answer 8

'she' can't afford to stay. There are agencies out there who will hellp. He may have made her believe that she can't survive without him. She won't know how successful she can be until she tries it.
good luck!

Answer 9

Child support.Nobody should put up with disrespect.God bless.

Answer 10

she should get help and leave!