I told a co worker that she was in a bad marriage, I guess I wasn't the only one. One of her buddies told her the same thing? I got to work and she was crying. I felt so bad, I wanted to die cause I hurt her. I only want to help her in a help her in a bad sistuation. But did I go too far???
2007-11-27 17:16:54 · 11 answers · asked by PHP 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her and I are very good friends...
2007-11-27 17:21:35 · update #1
she knows she is in a bad marriage and she is still triing to make it work she needs time to get used to the fact then she will get through it ok, it all takes time i was there until 2 months ago and nobody could ever tell me anything until i was ready to listen.
2007-11-27 23:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't go too far but you shouldn't go any further. Don't start telling her to get a divorce.
A guy I know was having a fight with his wife. Everyone started bashing her and telling him to get a divorce. I didn't because I could tell just by hearing how he'd talk about her that he still loved her very much. I just helped provide a momentary distraction. They did work things out and baby #2 is due any day now.
An observer has no idea what feelings are involved between the two.
2007-11-28 01:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by THE STUDLIEST 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people can already tell if their marriage is bad and don't need someone else telling them. When they stay in the marriage there is usually a reason, whether they admit to one or are even conscious of having one or not. Often, they will feel rather helpless and hopeless and having friends/family letting them know that even they can tell the marriage is bad doesn't solve anything, doesn't help anything, just embarrasses her. It's best if you stay out of it. Even as her best friend her husband could use your interference against her. Your friend has to decide for herself whether she's going to stay in that marriage, or not--you shouldn't influence her or get involved.
2007-11-28 01:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by Inundated in SF 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just telling someone they are in a bad marriage definitely does not help. Are you willing to provide the support and shoulder to cry if they need it?
I don't think that was a wise thing to do. And don't try to make amends, might just get worse. Let her be.
2007-11-28 01:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by babasbhakta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told her somethig that in her heart she already knew. Should you have told her? Probably wasn't the most tactful way to deal with the situation, and it was probably not your place to say it, but if she brought it up, she deserved hearing it.
My question to you, is, what was your motive? Your reaction indicates you have feelings for her that perhaps you shouldn't ahve for a married woman. Maybe you told her she was in a bad marriage because you want her available for you. If so, it will backfire. they never stay with the "rebound guy".
2007-11-28 01:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by Steve T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she comes to you for advice, then I think it's acceptable for you to give your honest opinion. I used to be in a bad marriage and I needed the push from my family and friends to make the right decision. I don't think you went to far as long as you were being honest. She's crying b/c she realizes it to, not b/c you pointed it out.
2007-11-28 01:25:54 · answer #6 · answered by fatal_hellbitch 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't have to tell her. All married couples know they are in a bad marriage because marriage sucks. You should have just tried to cheer her up every chance you could.
2007-11-28 09:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing IF yall are cool like that if she is just someone you olny talk to at work then hell yeah you where out of place. If she is your friend and you was trying to help her good job. she was cy cuz the truth hurts....................
2007-11-28 01:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by nena_ross 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to help her, stay out of it. Her marriage is none of your business and not your decision.
2007-11-28 01:19:31 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless shes asks, keep out of it,,
2007-11-28 01:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋