I found my husbands wallet having his prom photo in it, over a year ago. I asked him why he would have him and another girls photo in it since he and I are now married and he said he'd remove it. Well I just checked again, and its still there. I am so heart broken about it. but yet dont know how to approach him with it.. or even how i should feel toward him. i cant come out and tell him i looked for it, and FOUND IT. what do i do, and is it normal for men to carry around photos of their prom with ex's.... need some friendly advice, as we're a military couple in our early twentys and havent had a whole lot of time together. i dont want this marriage to fail because i love him alot .. but there is alot of things bugging me since he's been back from his deployment .. and this is our first chance as a married couple of being together.
2007-11-27 17:14:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, i dont think he'd leave me for her. I just dont like it being there. we dont have any pictures taken together that are in his wallet.
2007-11-27 17:22:55 · update #1
this was our first deployment.
2007-11-27 17:24:41 · update #2
Do you actually think he's going to leave you for his prom date? If you do, you need counseling. Who cares if it's there? Seems like it was a special night for him. Let him have his memories. Most guys never clean out their wallets and have tons of old things and pictures in them. Get over it. Your problem is not his prom date, your problem is his deployment. Seek professional help.
2007-11-27 17:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hey hun,
I am also a militry spouce and let me tell you one thing. When I met my husband we were so in love we made the note book look a bit OFF..LOL and pictures of other woman? Hell no! i wouldnt care if it was harmless or not..point is that was his past...if he can not seem to let it go...what's the point for the future with you, when he's obviously showing off picts of someone else. deployments are hard and I understand How things are during that time, Lonely! they have access to the net and everything else like we do...if that pic wasn't in there when you were married how would it come up after deployment? Humm... All you can do is talk to him about it ask him why he has it? If he likes how he looked cut her out of it, and case over. ;-) Take care!
2007-11-28 02:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by Defender of all 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I first moved in with my wife, I had my prom pictures in a box, with a bunch of comic books. I put them outside in the shed. They weren't even in the house. She took it upon herself to go through that box and she DESTROYED my prom pictures, stating the same reasons you gave. It's still a sore spot with me, even though I never bring it up.
Why is it ok for women to carry around momentos of the past but men cannot? The past is in the past. Most people have had great times before they met their spouses at some point in their lives. You are making a big deal out of nothing. What's next, are we supposed to burn our high school year books too? It's the guy's senior prom for crying out loud. So what if he's standing next to a pretty girl? He didn't marry her. He married YOU.
2007-11-28 01:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey this is a sure sign that you are way too young to be married, the fact that your prom was a year ago tells me that you and your husbands maturity cant be that high. I'm sorry to hear that you married so young. The photo may bug me too if I were you , who am I to say that it wouldn't , if I were a young girl your age I'm not sure I would want it there either, and I would want to know why he isn't removing it after you have asked him to?
2007-11-28 02:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok as a fellow military wife..was tis his first deployment?..if so it will never get easy..my hubby and I have been married for 5 years..he went in 3 days after we got married..the beginning is the worst..believe me..they says its a miracle if a military couple makes it past the forst 5 years..if you can just sit him down and you two have a heart to heart talk..you tell him things that bug you and let him tell you things that bug him..get it all out on the table..now that day maybe the worst but at least you can try to work on the things that bugs each other..hang in there..GOOD LUCK..if you have anymore concerns email me jiggetts0829@yahoo.com
2007-11-28 01:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by USAF SSGT WIFEY 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DUHHHHHH He still loves her and wants to be with her. You seem young and dumb. I will save you about 20 years of learning this the hard way:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.
2007-11-28 09:05:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your picture in there too? You don't need to compete with a photograph. You give him the real thing. You don't need to control what's in a man's wallet, either. Just be there for him and listen if he wants to talk. If he has seen live combat he may be a little bit in shock. Give him time. Maybe both of you can talk to a councilor about how your feeling.
2007-11-28 01:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by dezynor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey... if you really want this marriage to work... you have to communicate... and I don't mean on the nagging, bitching way... or the I'm the victim way... just approach it as two adults... Men are kinda dumb sometimes.. (sorry if I hurt anybody) and forget things, specially if they don't really care... so maybe it was just that, he forgot to take it out.
Now... I don't like anybody looking in my purse... what has he done for you to start looking into his wallet and whatever else you're checking?
2007-11-28 01:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o, just come to him and say "well, i just remembered. u remember that prom photo u had in your wallet? did u get rid of it? and it is still bozering me - why would anyone keep a photo with his ex in his WALLET" and then see what he will say. and i promise after that he will get rid of it. if he doesn't - confront. smth is not right. and no, it is not normal to carry pictures of exes in WALLET. i can understand u can jeep a picture somewhere in a box, but in a wallet?
2007-11-28 01:19:28 · answer #9 · answered by yeahright 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to have pictures from my first gf, the one I went to prom with, but when I got married they went out in the trash.
I guess some small part of me would've liked to keep them, but I figured it would upset her if she ever found them.
I would think that you would have to call him out on it, especially since he told you he would get rid of it.
2007-11-28 01:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by pistons_one 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋