I ask my fellow empaths: How do you control the pain?

Question

I know this is a long shot, but if you are an empathetic person, please let me know how to deal with the emotions of others. I recently just realized how empathetic I am. For years, I could always tell if somebody was lying about their feelings; and I get vibes from people. It is also easier to predict the future because of this. I can feel the pain of others, and it lingers with me for hours. I know most people don't believe or understand this phenomenon, but it is real to me. Please help me. People with problems flock to me, and sometimes it can be more than I can handle. How do you learn to let their feelings go? How do you deal with the waiting for an outcome you know will happen (I am not usually a patient person)? When you know somebody says, "Let's get together some time," and you know that you will never see them again, how do you deal with that? It is really overwhelming. Please help; please don't reply if you don't believe. It's fine if you don't, but don't make this a debate

Answer 1

To begin, many empaths never do and die young or end up on medications. But you can learn to survive without greatly changing who you are.

This is not a matter of control (stopping) as much as it is separating and then processing. This process is easier if you remain in balance and do not get overwhelmed by the emotions that are not generated from within. The better that you know yourself, the easier it is to recognize what is yours (that you must deal with) and what is picked up from the environment (that you must release as soon as possible).

Discipline is the key. Until you learn discipline, avoid large groups of people. Small groups of friendly people can be beneficial.

When interacting with others one-to-one, understand that you might be more aware of what they are feeling than they are consciously. Many people hide their emotions (even from themselves) instead of dealing with them. Try to find polite ways to verbally reflect their feelings back to them. This will help them and you process the emotions. You will know if you are are on the right tract if they become less confused and more calm. Stop if they start to deny any such feelings.

Remember that you are only responsible for your personal emotions, not those of others. Make sure that you know how to deal with your emotions.

Be Here Now. Stay in the present. Let your own (and definitely anyone else's) past go. Do not cling to what has already taken place. Never feel anxious about the furture. Be aware of what is going on around you.

One technique that will help is learning to meditate. This will help discipline your mind and make it easier to stop any obsession or problems before they get out of hand. Remember that emotions are not logical, so any logical solutions will usually not work.

If you need a subjective method to lessen the effect of your environment, I suggest envisioning a shield around yourself. Nothing opaque, but something you can see through. Think about a field of Jello-like material (you can even color it if you like). Make it very soft on the outside and impossible to get through on the inside. Use this method to retreat if you need it.

One of the best methods to use to process emotions is writing. You can use this for personal or received emotions. Just write, do not worry about spelling or vocabulary, just get something down on paper. You can always burn the paper later. This is not meant to be a record of your insanity (many people would call you insane), it is a method to get things out so you can deal with them. It is for you only, nobody else.

The last thing to do is it be more aware of who you might be using to process your own emotions. Do you believe that you are the end-of-the line? Everyone dumps on you and you are stuck with it? The universe seldom works this way. Just as others might come to you, who can you go to? Pay attention to your own behavior.

Answer 2

You don't control the pain - you feel it. The only antidote is love, and some reasonable measure of doing your work and whatever else you're supposed to be doing. But being emotionally aware is painful, frequently, but it is the only authentic ticket to genuine happiness too so - like everything else, it's a trade off - I like the ability to see into the future that you referenced - once you can sense how people are feeling, there aren't many surprises - and that's a good thing, to me. Hell, I can predict sometimes to within a week how long it will take two people to end up dating who don't yet even know they like each other - he he - and it's nice being able to detect lying, though it still enrages me like a child when someone does lie -

Hang in, I think you are on the right side of this awareness thing -

Answer 3

I'm the same way! It's can be tiring always feeling like you're in the same situation as another person, only without the ability to change their world. I don't think there's one solution that will work with everyone, but it always helps me to give myself some time alone to feel whatever I need to, and then just let it go. Tell yourself there's nothing you can do at the moment. Writing things down helps. Your moods are easily manipulated, take advantage of this! Listen to loud, fastpaced music, watch something uninvolving on tv, move around a lot, anything that changes your mood. It might seem like you want to help everyone, but the more mired you are in their feelings, the harder it is to stand back and think about ways they can help themselves. As for your own feelings, I guess I'd say the same..just never let yourself get stuck in them for long. Hope that helps! If I think of anything else I'll edit back. Good luck!

Answer 4

Yes, what you feel and see is real. There would be as many ways to deal with this as there are empath's. So, I will pass on a few suggestions, for many of us know more than we let on to those around us.

To live peacefully, it is important to make a choice, for all decisions are made from your intention, therefore please choose to live always in the light and to only accept loving energies to be allowed near you from this moment on. Then remember this choice each day, consciously, for it is your intention that has the power. You will be telling the universe how you want it to be for you. You are the power in your own mind, and in your own life. And learn to say "no" to people and activities that do not resonate as a "yes" to you. You will begin to live authentically........as yourself....at your core level of authenticity. This is to BE the expression of the unique soul in a body, that you are. Over time, you shall be, and know, yourself more and more.

If you get attuned to Reiki,by a Reiki master, to level 1, you will have a tool at your fingertips for the rest of your life that you will use to heal yourself, and also anyone else you choose to Reiki. It's hands-on healing using universal life energy. It accelerates all healing and calms and relaxes you within seconds.

But without this, you may easily imagine yourself enveloped in a white light cocoon (head to toe) and you can put a mirrored reflective one over that so that the energy of others is deflected from you.

Remember, you have the ability to direct your own life from moment to moment. Moment to moment is all we ever have. Trust that in the next moment, you will always know what to do. You don't have to have all the answers right now. But if you live a conscious life, and honour your own way, and practices, then you will always have the knowledge you need at any time. Peace, friend.

Answer 5

I came up with a couple of tricks but nothing beats withdrawing into a quiet dark room or a long drive alone to sort out my feelings from other peoples feelings.

When I first realized the emotions of others had way to much control over me I started imagining a forcefield in front of me and let some negativity hit that instead of going straight into me. After a while I let this go because I didn't need it anymore.

Answer 6

Yes, I've had to work with that.
And yes, you can deal with it.
You may not be able to stop it altogether but you can certainly control it and lessen its impact.

Here are a few practical tips to add to the advice above . . .

Rinse your hands under cold running water while intending to clear other people's energy from you system.

'Ask' to have your energy field cleared of 'unhelpful energy'.
Imagine standing in a shower of cleansing energy.

Before you leave home, ask for protection. Imagine a cloak being wrapped round you. It reaches right down to the floor and has a hood which covers your face. It might be blue or silver.

Imagine yourself standing in an 'egg' of reflective light.

In your mind, actually 'say' to the people you are with, 'I will not take on your pain'. Really mean it! If you are a healer, which it sounds as if you are, and if it feels appropriate, you can add, 'I will do my best to help you let go of your pain, but I will not take on yours.'

When you feel pain which you know is not your own, say to it, 'This is not my pain and I don't want it. Take your own pain back!' Be quite determined about it.

Until you've got a real handle on these techniques, avoid going into areas of town where you know a lot of uncomfortable energy exists.

PS
If you're still having problems after a few weeks, drop me an email

Answer 7

Get a a full body massage it will help in letting go of these feelings you are taking in from others. Also, learn Transcendent Meditation, this will teach you how to let go of emotional pain that you are holding onto. All is well.

Answer 8

You integrate this into your practice; you embrace it. You make friends with it. You change your attitude. You recognize that nearly everyone you meet carries the weight of the world on their shoulders. Then, with your intelligence, you turn this negativity into the very cause of future positivity. You gather that persons negativity and pain into your heart center, you breathe it in through your right nostril in the form of a black or smoky light; then you transform it into happiness and virtue and you breathe it out through your left nostril in the form of a white light. This is the highest form of generosity and you do it without any hope for reward. You are taking their suffering, which is a practice of compassion. Then, you are giving them happiness, which is a practice of love. If you do this with all of these various people, then you are accumulating vast amounts of merit; which should be dedicated properly. You should keep in mind that were there not all of these people who "flock" to you; you would have no problem at all, right? Your problems depend on their problems; so you're happiness, likewise, depends on their happiness. Take it on yourself to cause their happiness. Recognize that nearly everyone you meet is up to their nostrils in fear, hatred, and ignorance. You can't fault them for that, though. Who has ever taught them anything about reality? No one. They simply have too much grasping at their identity and too much cherishing of that identity going on. If you want to be happy, work solely for these beings, all beings, if you want to suffer, work solely for your own ends. If you want to research further...I suggest the "Eight Verses for Training the Mind." Whatever you do, the only thing you can control is your reaction to what's going on...if you see the true nature of these things, then it will reduce your own self-grasping and self-cherishing. It takes a little time to get used to and the cardinal rule is to not announce that you are "now taking on their suffering and giving them your happiness." It takes place within you and your own mind. Outwardly, act natural. This is a mental process. Please note, there is extreme danger in attempting this practice. It is somewhat advanced. At risk, is your own negative attitude! Ha Ha! I hope this helps you on your way. Best wishes to you!

Answer 9

It takes time, and only time will teach you to let go of their burden from your kind heart.
Pray. There is a prayer made of 4 words.
"May the blessings be"
You do not heal, you do not give, nor take. Through you, the conduit, they are talking to their truth, their spirit, their god. You are simply the ears, the eyes and the ears. When they stop talking, God has heard them. Your job is done.

Answer 10

I would suggest that you start doing some meditations that are designed to ground you. Meditate on the truth that their emotional pain is not yours. Realize that you are not responsible for what is not yours.
It's the correct action to have empathy for others. It is not correct to take on the burden of their pain for them, in doing so you are not really helping them, they still have their personal pain...and now you have extra emotional baggage that is not yours to carry. Understand them, and offer advice only when asked, and at that exercise discernment.
Keep in mind that each and every one of us has a path of are own to walk, and what ever those lessons are that we need in order to evolve spiritually are designed exactly the way they need to be in order for each of us to grow.
It takes practice, but you will succeed.