What's wrong with me?

Question

I am recently out of - getting out of - no, out of a very bad abusive relationship. I moved out June 1 this year after the extremely controlling jealous accusing wretch did what one expects from a controlling jealous wretch and cheated and whored around . . . the question is not about that horror story but rather about that I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me. I am an attractive, sexy, intellegent, college educated, funny, loving woman (size 7) and yet unless it's on-line dating I never seem to get asked out. X would go to his grave insisting that I was hit on left and right at work at the store at the gas station . . . but, yet I am not. I see men stare all the time let me repeat all the time but they never seem to approach - what's with that?? Am I giving off some vibe? Woment do you usually get asked out routinely in your work-place?? Or where? And Men, what makes you want to approach and show an interest - provided looks measure up???

no, not small, and not big, I'm just trying to paint a picture to get a real answer - I coulda lied and said size 0 - but I am not that and I truly am asking for real opinions not bull. Size 7 I believe is fairly normal - especially since I'm 5'8" - but thank you!

Answer 1

My perspective is that your major drawback is blaming or condemning yourself. So right off the bat you want to stop that action.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU...except you're lonely. To those who have not made passes or what-ever to make a positive forward step, consider them not worthy. Take this time to relax and enjoy your freedom. It is not the time to rush back into an affair. Get to know YOU better. Reinforce the love you have for yourself first.
Prince charming is coming.
What ever you do...don't drop your standards. When you see some one who shows some interest, give him a cute smile...but don't over do it. Carry a warm smile and stay charming. Be confident in yourself and keep your enthusiasm. To any and all who does approach, choose wisely...less you wind up back where you left off.
You sound positively darling. Were I a bit younger and my divorce final, I would search the four corners, put myself in the competition and jump to the head of the line ;<).

Answer 2

Sometimes looks are not even the half of it.... At times guys who think you are hot also think they are out of your league and there fore will look but go no further. Then there is a chance that you are trying to give off " I am available vibe and it is coming off I am not available". Rather then just making eye contact with the guys, say Hi or make an direct smile. Also think about this, looks are not everything and if that is all the guy is interested in, then he is not worth being interested in his self. Give yourself time, maybe you still have a little bit of rain clould hanging around. Reallly I beleive you will meet someone when you are not looking for it to happen. Good Luck and whatever you do, don't get so down and out that you want to go back to the X.

Answer 3

Since you're coming out of a bad relationship sometimes you can give off very bad vibes quick! Like other before me answer your question is could be a combination of things.

How you present yourself when you talk to guys (as one person stated, that you come near me you will die). When in a short conversation, you can sound unfriendly (that you're not interest). How you make eye contact with the guy (you roll your eyes, looking down when talking to the person, give the person a blank facial look). Most attractive females have a bf and others will not take that chance to talk to you. Also an attractive woman can be very picky of the choice of men whom she wanted. Then the rejection part as well, some women can be cold when they reject someone whom don't fit their requirement/standards of men. Last is all about your attitude!!

I wouldnt take it to hard, if you're a people person then you will not have a problem, on the other hand if you're the selected type female then you can warn guys away before you have a chance to talk to them. I would said that you're not a picky type woman, so just give yourself time. You sound like a wonderful person, 5 '7 and size 7...hmmmm...i would like to see a picture of you. But still you still sound wonderful enough to talk too....just take it one step at a time. smile

Answer 4

Have you ever heard the old saying..... The pretty people are the loneliest people. People with super good looks make others afraid. Maybe, these men see a gorgeous woman and don't feel they are up to your standards. So why don't you take the initiative and ask one of them out. Suprise! After he picks up his jaw from the floor and can remember how to use his tounge, he will more then likely say yes. So, stop being so shy. Also, if you just got out of abusive relationship, break the circle so you don't find the same type of man. Good luck!

Answer 5

Seems as if you have low self esteem and assume men are looking at you. Sure they all look, but if you don't give a sign they will never say anything to you. So next time you think a man is looking at you, strike up a conversation, it might go a long way. The reason I say you have low self esteem is because of the relationship you were in. That will give any body low self esteem.

Answer 6

You sound like maybe you are TOO attractive for most men to just walk up to and start talking to you to ask you out. Sometimes women don't even realize that they are putting off the "Can't touch this" vibe. When you walk do you look straight ahead and act like your everything? Not meaning to I mean. Just that you are very sure of yourself and so you act that way and it doesn't allow any room for anyone to move in close enough to see that your looking for someone to ask you out. Does any of that make sense? I know what I'm trying to say but I don't know if I'm explaining it right. Sorry.

Answer 7

You may be a hot babe, but at work your off limits.

You have to remember that if you work in a company that employees more than one person, everyone had to go through some kind of sexual harassment training.

No babe is worth getting canned for, so most guys don't want to play there. The thing is if you want to go out with a guy, you should give him the green light and let him know that you would be willing.

Answer 8

It's more about attitude than intelligence or size. I'm sure you're attractive, but if you seem insecure or desperate, then, you'll be scaring men away until you change your attitude. By the way, is a size 7 supposed to be small?

Answer 9

Sometimes when a woman is good looking, men think they already have a boyfriend.

Maybe you can do a bit of innocent flirting.

Look at someone you're interested in straight in the eye, and smile.

Answer 10

If you're "strutting your stuff" hon, and expecting guys to walk up to you, uhhhhhh, that whory. And if you are looking for a relationship from the street, you'll get another of just what you left.

Get some counseling, hon, and see what is going on in your head. You may indeed be smart, sexy, and the rest of it, but somewhere in here you are sending out the wrong vibes... Find out why.