I am having trouble deciding who to live with. i have always been a daddys girl but he cheated on my mom and she caught him so he moved out and i stayed. then me and my mom growed closer together but we still fight every now and then and its like my dad never left except for the hole in me. and my mom doesnt want me to contact my dad because she wants to see if he will contact us. i have only seen him three times since he moved out. but i love my mom. i have to decide who i want to live with my dad is a totally new and nicer person and said it was up to me who i decided to live with but i cant decide. before my dad was over protective and strict but now he is nicer and a new person. and i really miss him. what do you think i should do.
2007-11-27 14:07:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your guardian ad litem, or the judge, that you want a custody arrangement called "Bird Nesting". Under that arrangement, you stay in the same home and each parent lives there for three weeks. It is becoming more common every year. in this manner, your life is stable and theirs are equally disrupted. They cannot date during the weeks they are in the home, nor have overnight guests, other than relatives.
I have some lists on the rights of children of divorce. I could email you copies of them to give them to remind they of their responsibilities. You might also consider getting them the book "10 Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Children's Lives".
2007-11-27 14:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not said how old you are. Does you dad live close to where you and your mother are? Would you have to change schools if you lived with him? Who has the most time to give to you? Would both of your parents by agreeable no matter who you choose? They should not play you against each other. My heart is broken for you to have to make this decision. Only you know which will be the better to live with, but get some guidance from a counselor who knows both your parents and who can be an impartial assistant to you. You should plan on spending time with both parents.
2007-11-27 14:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for now you should live with your Mom. Once your mom start to date, and if she brings men home. Then ask if you could go stay with your Dad. I don't think your mom would do this but you never know about women that are in love. Protect yourself. If her boyfriends spend the night, lock your doors. You never know. If anyone of them makes a move on you, tell your mom. She may not believe you. That's okay, tell her, pack your bags, and go to your Dad. Also, your mom can't tell you not to contact your Dad. Their relationship failed. Your relationship with your Dad has not. She is immature for doing that. Either of them should turn you against the other one, so don't allow them to do that.
2007-11-27 14:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it sucks that you have to make this decision. I also think that you should move into your Dad's place. The only reason that I am saying this is because you said "My mom doesn't want me to contact my Dad". I can see it becoming an issue when you want to visit with your Dad. I can see your Mom not acting in your best interest when it comes to your relationship with your Dad. She is hurt by what your Dad did and because your Dad hurt her she will try to hurt him back and you are going to be stuck in that. So I really think moving in with your Dad would be better for you. You can still have weekends and summers with your Mom.
2007-11-27 14:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom may be upset, angry and bitter for a long time. So you need to remind her that he is your Dad and you have a relationship with him and can't afford to lose that. Maintaining a closeness with your Dad will keep you mind and spirit healthy. Keep this in mind your Dad is not living with you, so if you move in with him he will probably go back to being strict. As far as missing him---call him ever day make plans to go to his house by yourself if you can drive or take the bus, try to keep the hurt down for your Mom. It will be hard to handle your Mom with her anger and maybe jealousy. Good luck it will not be easy.
2007-11-27 14:30:39 · answer #5 · answered by jalwells 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough question, why do you have to choice? Can't you live with both or won't they let you. If you are getting along with both of them, tell them you pick both of them, as long as they both are able to take you to the same school and your able to live a normal kind of life you should be able to keep both your parents.
Its not fair of your parents to make you pick, many kids live with both parents, try working it that way.
By the way, mothers and daughters fight, its just part of life, and your dad will always be strick, he's probably doing better now that he's not trying to hide everything all the time
good luck to all of you
2007-11-27 14:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by vjustmehere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will pray for you.
No matter what decision you make, you will hurt someone. That is not the kind of decisions you should be making at this point in your life.
My best advise is live with the parent who will be able to keep you in the school you want to go to. Then make sure you get the help you need handling this whole situation.
Good luck.
2007-11-27 14:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think youn should live with ur mom for one school semester then ur dad the other one so they both know u still love them and want to spend time with each of them
2007-11-27 14:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by kelley h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, i could advise you to take bypass away for 15days - 1month bypass away out of your activity and bypass to his mom and dad place. tell them that u have left the activity and be conscious the human beings, their plan.after 2-3weeks u verify what to do. Ask him to seek for activity in a city if he's waiting he will seek and u tell him that u will connect him provided that he works in a city so tht u can verify. Take determination properly. If issues no longer understanding divorce him and come again to artwork. some adult males roam out with different women human beings even after marriage.c wht happens
2016-10-18 06:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call your father and talk to him....that is what I think....this is one time you should not listen to your mom....your father needs you also. Stay living where you are for now, until your emotions settle. Then decide.
2007-11-27 14:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋