An odd question for fathers of 11y/o+ daughters: OR Daughters:?

Question

When you(women)/ or your (men) daughter got her first period, did you "celebrate" with your dad or daughter?

Like for instance, my mother took me out to eat and let me drink a glass of red wine the day I got mine, (my dad lived across country when I was growing up so he couldn't be there) and I've heard similar stories from other women about their own mothers.

But I don't think I've ever heard of a man taking out his daughter, or celebrating together as a family, usually just mother-daughter or possibly with other female relatives.

Curious if this ever happens.

lol ok i guess i just assumed most women did this with their moms. guess that woulda been a better question huh?

lol duh.

Answer 1

No such thing. When he found out, he gave me some information medical sheets to control period pain, which I thought was very caring of him. My grandmother made the big fuss about the occurrence.

Answer 2

That's an interesting question. Nothing like that happened for me when I was that age. My mother didn't even know when I got mine and I didn't tell her. She just had a lot of feminine products under the sink, and then eventually when they started running low, she figured it out and asked me. No way would my father ever celebrate it, we were and are a very private family. To me, a celebration of period would be more of an embarassment than a celebration, but if families are close and open enough to celebrate it, kudos to them!

Answer 3

I guess the most striking thing about this is that you must have had a close and open relationship with your mother. In that, you're fortunate. As you've already discovered by your question, not every women does have that close of a relationship with their own. Given that as the case, it would seem even more unlikely that daughters would have a relationship of such intimacy with their fathers. For one thing, at least in American (and many other) cultures, there is such a stigma surrounding the sexuality of fathers and daughters as to make such a level of intimacy open to suspicion. I don't know how to defend or support this condition in either direction without generating extreme disgust on both sides of the issue.

Condition, sad!

Edit: Reading back over the answers now, I see that this question really raises many issues concerning the utter disregard for the concerns of children, and daughters especially. It's no wonder girls in general have such difficulty adapting in society. They typically weren't even given that means or respect at home.

One more reason why I am a FEMINIST.

Shingoshi Dao
2007.Nov.27 Tue, 19:03 --800 (PST)

Answer 4

Huh. I guess I'm kinda the odd one out. I told my mother. I assume she told my father. They took me out to my favorite restaurant for dinner. I suppose some people would find that embarrassing, but my family's always been very open. I liked it. I remember my mother telling me about the time she got her period and tried to tell her mother. Her mother was really embarrassed. She didn't say anything. Just left the room, then came back and threw some pads on her bed. My mom said she wanted me to have a better experience.

Answer 5

I never got any special celebration either. My brother teased me though. I got mine at 10. I assumed my dad knew but we never talked about it. I thought every other girl had theirs too, but when I was 12 a school friend stayed the night at my house and my period came while she was there. She told everyone at school the next day and she never spoke to me again. My other friends asked me if what she told them was true, and I said yes (because I didn't get that there was a problem) and they never spoke to me again either.

I also remember hearing when I was a kid "You can't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die"

I didn't even know when I ovulated, much more that that was when I could get pregnant, until my late twenties. I knew nothing about my body.

Too bad girls aren't taught more about there bodies. It is sad that we don't celebrate menstruation too.

Watch these disturbing videos called "What is a period?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHZEOweeoaE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD-TG5_uF18

It is a two parter.

Answer 6

My older daughter got her period on the morning of September 11, 2001. I had just gotten home from working the graveyard shift when he came to the door and told me what had happened. She had gotten her period while getting ready for school but he didn't know what to do for her. What was worse was that she was terrified and in hysterics. Apparently, they spent nearly an hour waiting for me to arrive because they knew I was the only person living in the house who knew what to do. I then had a talk with her and showed her the various types of protection I had and how to use them. I had just gotten her calmed down and was getting ready to take her to school when I heard on TV that the World Trade Center had been struck by a plane. Needless to say, there was no celebration that day.

Answer 7

In "Grandmother's Secrets" by Rosina- Fawzia Al-Rawi is described a Mideastern (belly dance community) celebration of the first flowing of the blood. But Western culture hates the physical body and has no generally practiced equivalent.
That is unfortunate. Males could also have a rite, when there is the first flowing of "milk". :-)

Answer 8

As far as I know, the menses have always been the province of women, along with other 'mysteries.'

Then men took over religion and called it 'the curse.'

I hope if I ever have a daughter, there is a woman around that I can trust to field this one for me. Ideally, that would be her mother, but things rarely ever work out so well.

For myself, I would probably do the typical male thing and try to dismiss it as a 'fact of life' type thing, while comforting her with chocolate ice cream.

"It's okay, sweetie, every girl gets this, it's normal. Let's get some books on it, huh? You want some more hot fudge?'

Of course, we know that the 'dismissive fixit' works perfectly with males and male children. Stronger man says no big deal then no big deal. Simple. He passes the confidence of normalcy on to the boy. Not so much with women. I would probably mis-handle it terribly. The only thing I would probably get right is the 'lots of hugs' part.

Answer 9

no, but my mom and grandma embarrassed me greatly. after telling my grandma, she walked outside and yelled to my dad, "yeah, it's that woman thing!!" REALLY loud just as the kids next door were coming home from school. and my mom felt the need to tell all her friends about "her baby becoming a woman."

we went to the store that night and bought the stuff i needed. i think she took me out to eat, gave me "that talk" and a hug.

Answer 10

Ah, when I got my first period we didn't celebrate anything, not even with my mom. I didn't think celebrating it was all that common.

Yeah, my mom didn't even know until I started asking her for "feminine products".