cant't stand the fact that my dad cheeted on my mom, and to top it off him and his hoe are living together, whenever i see them together i cant even look at them. do i forgive and forget ?
2007-11-27 12:48:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
plus after 4 years he still denies the fact that he has done anything wrong and even though he knows that i know he liers to my two younger siblings. i cant stand the fact that he feels he is still this wonderful person.
2007-11-27 13:00:17 · update #1
plus after 4 years he still denies the fact that he has done anything wrong and even though he knows that i know he liers to my two younger siblings. i cant stand the fact that he feels he is still this wonderful person.
2007-11-27 13:00:20 · update #2
My father left my family 8 years ago now. My issue with him was never about the divorce and with him living with another woman. It was about how he treated me growing up. He had a unique relationship with me as well as my two sisters. He never physically abused us in any way, but he was emotional destructive to all of us. My anger toward him has nothing to do with the divorce (although I believed it did for several years).
That being said, I still cannot be comfortable around him and the new woman in his life. Part of me sees that he has moved on and as you say... he tries to come out "smelling like a rose". He might say he admits he was wrong with some things and that he has changed... but actions always speak louder than words. He still treats me with that childish disrespect that he always has. I have yet to see my father more than once or twice a year.
Do your best to forgive because if you spend your life being angry at him...it will only hurt you in the end. You will not forget, and you do not have to see him unless you want to, but being angry will eat away at you. Give it some time. I wish you the best.
2007-11-27 13:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon...
I'm sure it's painful to see your dad has moved on -- but the truth is, your parents' relationship isn't any of your business.... adult problems are ADULT PROBLEMS, and you need not be involved.....
As kids, we don't know what our parents are going through. I know you love your mom, but maybe your father's feelings have changed? Maybe he couldn't help it? It' hurts YOU.. but it's not the "hoe's" fault, either..... life happens.
You can forgive your father, but i don't know that you will forget the hurt feelings. Time will probably heal your wounds...
I'm sending good thoughts your way, and hope you will do well... if you have issues with this, and can't shake it after a while, maybe talk with your school counselor or an adult you respect and trust. Sometimes having someone to turn to, helps a lot.
Try www.teenshope.com too... it's a good website with lots of advice for kids.
hugs
2007-11-27 13:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an issue you really need to talk to your father and a counselor about. If you do not handle it thoroughly it could effect your future relationships with men. Read some books on why men cheat to first understand the way his brain functions then maybe you can begin to have empathy and understand how he could actually go there- not to say its right or excusable. But understanding is the first process in healing. Also, if your mother is hurting you are probably hurting with her. She should also make sure she is over it and not sharing her resentment with you. It can spread like hiccups. Forgive, but dont forget, heal-that is most important.
2007-11-27 13:17:17 · answer #3 · answered by nashvillekennedy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah well ADULT PROBLEMS are shoved on kids when they do stupid stuff, so that's not right .. are they just to turn the other way cause they aren't "adults" yet?! That don't make sense.
It sucks your dad let you down .. and I'm sure it won't be the last adults you love do that ..
My son is let down with my hubbs, his father, yet hubbs is clueless, just as your father is .. it is maden'ing (not sure that's a word lol) .. but I just stay strong and know that kids will see us as we are, not what we want them to ..
Good Luck to you .. as crazy as this sounds .. what you are going through this will make you a better person ..
2007-11-27 13:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Queenie` 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry this happened to your family. However, unless he is a terrible father this is something that happened between him and your mom, it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. Sure - you can be mad at him for hurting your mom but it's better if you forgive him and don't ruin a relationship.
2007-11-27 12:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, only time will tell. My dad did the same to my mom. I was able to forgive, but you will never forget. Partly, its on your dad and how willing he is to salvage his relationship with you. Good luck
2007-11-27 13:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be very hard to have to see the person that destroyed your family. But he is your dad and eventually you will forgive him but you won't forget it
2007-11-27 12:57:52 · answer #7 · answered by carmey1173 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can get really good advice at www.survivinginfidelity. com---this site is great for advice on all kinds of situations. Good luck sweetie.
2007-11-27 13:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can tell you how long to take to get over something like this. This is something that heals with time and I'm sure it will. Good luck.
2007-11-27 12:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your dad is only a man. I pray that you never get put in a similar situation he is in. It is not a great spot only vulnerable
2007-11-27 13:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by wrknprgsat47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋