Can she interfere with the time and financial support that I spend with my other kids? I've screwed up in my life in more ways than one, I just hate the idea of not being to be there for child that my girlfriend is presently carrying. I missed out on all my kids' best years because I was going to school and working two some times three jobs. It scares the heck out of me, not being there for the latest. I wasn't planning on this. I never wanted to have more kids, but it happened cuz my freaking sperm is apparently too sticky. My other kids were all born over 7 years ago when I was too dumb and messed up. I wanna be a full time dad for her so badly but if my other kids are gonna get screwed over then I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
2007-11-27 12:46:14 · 9 answers · asked by Sean 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
before someone says keep it in your pants I'm just gonna say I have an appointment to get snipped so let's get that out of the way.
2007-11-27 12:48:31 · update #1
Even with the prenup I'm worried that she will want far more for herself and this child than the other children that I have. And without marriage I don't see myself being able to spend much time with my child. It's quite a dilemma.
2007-11-27 13:12:18 · update #2
Don't get married. Once you are married, you have added another person that has legal rights to what you earn, and that can be at the expense of your children.
I would absolutely draw up a prenuptial agreement that protects the financial interests of your other children. If she is a good woman, she will understand that if you are of the mindset to protect your kids from a previous relationship, then you will do the same for them.
Get those decided and written down in legal form today. If she refuses, than don't marry her. You owe that to your kids.
2007-11-27 12:56:33 · answer #1 · answered by Rich D 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's never too late to show your other children that you have what it takes to be a dad. You cant do for one and not the others. Trust me they will hate you one day for that. I know, because I grew up in a similar situation. My sibling and I watched as OUR dad raised another mans kids. With no regard to us. If, you can show all them the same amount of love and respect, everything will work out just fine. Just keep in mind, every child you brought into this world, never asked to be born. So, I would hope you could show them everyday how much they mean to you. I do hope you get to be around to watch this one grow and become an adult. But dont forget your other kids. They need you more then you will ever know and love you the same. Good luck and best wishes
2007-11-27 20:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you have a pregnant girlfriend and are considering getting married? That's all i can make out of this... besides the fact you have other kids...
I would say -- give what you can with your other kids if you visit them, and do your best for the people you are close with today (such as your girlfriend, for example).
You might also want to talk with your girlfriend about visiting with the other kids... and DO NOT expect your girlfriend to babysit or take care of them if they visit you -- they are not her kids... i'm sure she will be kind and accepting, but don't make her play "mom"... cuz she's not... you are the parent, and responsible for your own kids... end of story!
I sure hope this works out... it seems you have come to some realizations in life and have matured over the last few years... nothing wrong with growing up...
take care.
2007-11-27 20:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man up, make a decision to stick this one through. It is clear you will continue to be a father to your other children, but it sounds like your fear is in leaving this new family and going off to another years down the line. She is pregnant, they are your family now, she can not interfere with your prior obligations any more then you have already layed the foundation for her to do so, no going back now. Being married to her or not is for your sanity, either way you have to support this new family and spend time with the child.
2007-11-27 21:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by nashvillekennedy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why they make CONDOMS !!! You get married because you love each other . That is the only reason. You have your children for life that is true but sooner than you realize the kids grow up and settle into their own lives. Its such a short time that you will actually raise them. Enjoy This time . If you r a dad and not married ...you can still be a dad . Yes ...you will have to spread yourself thin but again that's why they make CONDOMS!!! Intertwine families ,,,after all they are siblings! Let them enjoy each other as siblings.
2007-11-27 21:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is with you now and doesn't interfere with your relationship with your other kids right? When this one gets here things should remain the same but you now get to spend time with this one too. Getting married should not change that at all. In fact when you get to take your kids for overnights they will be able to bond with their new sibling too. If you do things right and include everyone then no one will get left out and things should work out just fine. If you love her then talk to her about how you want things to work out once you are together. If the 2 of you agree or at least agree to a compromise then go for it.
2007-11-27 20:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It`s a good idea , you are going to overcome and choose the right path for you, why not ? get married , and go on forward, you can`t bring back the past . Since you feel contrite , and accept in your heart , what you`ve done since, then you have the right to do , and make your life successful and happy.
About your kids , you have to exert effort , as a good example for them as a father . Good luck!
2007-11-27 20:59:22 · answer #7 · answered by nattienes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you at least you're being honest to yourself and admitting your mistakes. So you what you have done wrong in the past and all you can do now is make sure you don't make the same mistakes this time around. GOOD LUCK
2007-11-27 20:54:37 · answer #8 · answered by carmey1173 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Which NFL team or NBA team do you play for?
2007-11-27 20:57:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋