My husband and I are getting ready to go through a seperation. I told him that he has 30 days to pack all of his stuff and move out of our apartment. He told me that if I kick him out that he would hunt me down, and kill me. I told him that I would have the locks changed and have a restraining order against him, and he just laughed. He said that if he couldn't be with me no one could be with me. I have had him arrested before and he came back again. His parents think that we just need time apart and we will learn to appreciate each others company, I believe that my life is in danger if we stay together. I have tried leaving him before and that did not work. So is there any other possible thing that I could do?
2007-11-27 12:44:53 · 13 answers · asked by Jordan Is My Love 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We do not have any kids. The other thing is that his family is in law-enforcement, and the last time I had him arrested his brother had him out of jail the same night, and the charges were dropped.
2007-11-27 13:25:29 · update #1
Move out. Find a day you can leave, and pack your stuff and go. Take anything of value of yours because he'll likely destroy it.
Cancel your cellphone and under no circumstances do you contact anyone he knows to get your phone number.
Get an apartment and tell no one where you are at. At the same time file a restraining order. Notify the people at your place of work so they can take appropriate action.
But most of all, get serious. If you really want to leave, you can leave. No one is stopping you. Understand that and take control of your life back.
Each day do one thing in preparation to leave and have that day ready in your mind. Do not give any indication that you are leaving and don't threaten. He clearly has no respect or belief that you will leave.
2007-11-27 12:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by Rich D 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When he is at work, load your car up with everything that is valuable to you, and leave. File a police report and have a restraining order against him. Tell them he has threatened your life. I would then go into hiding until the matter is resolved. Go somewhere you know he won't find you. This is a dangerous situation! Many women before you have been murdered because they didn't get out. Don't take no, by the police, for an answer.
2007-11-27 12:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Protect yourself, move to a place where you can be safe from harm. Obtain the order of protection and/or restraining order.
If necessary, continue to have him arrested each and every time he violates the orders or you feel threatened. The longer you are in this situation the worse it will become. There are shelters which can and will afford you protection until you can make it on your own. Local law enforcement may be able to provide you with a referral to one of these agencies. His parents are enabling his behavior, his unacceptable behavior.
No one deserves to live like that. One more day is one day to long. Churches are also a possible resource for a safe haven.
Be strong your fear is his strength. Don't let his emotional problems become yours. It is additionally possible to have a court order a psychological evaluation of him to determine how much of a threat he is and get him some help. Don't provoke him or try to agitate him, just find a safe place to go and seek court ordered protection for yourself. Good luck
2007-11-27 13:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by big dawg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to protect yourself. I would tell your lawyer about the threats and if you don't have a lawyer then you need to get one soon. Go ahead and get the restraining order and see if you can get some type of police protection or move out of the city until this all unfolds. You need to definately watch your back. I would go with all the legal actions I could and don't threaten him. You are doing exactly what he's doing to you. HE could use that against you in court. I would not tell him anything. Why don't YOU move out of the apartment? Maybe that would not cause as much trouble. Are there kids invovled? I would definately go the legal route and document all these threats he's made to you.
2007-11-27 12:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by lazycat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
call the police, and get a restraining order, even if he says he is playing (which noone plays like that). Move if you can. Find a friend or family members house to stay at, in any event, don't remain in that apartment even with the locks changed. Good luck.
2007-11-27 12:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by lwomar 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's threatening your life, then you should call the police and give them a statement. Anytime he harasses you or violates the restraining order, notify the police immediately. They will keep all of your statements on file and if his childish nonsense continues, then he could face some jail time. Good luck!
2007-11-27 12:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do sound like you are in danger. Can you leave the city where you live? I would do that so he cannot find you then file for divorce. Do not let his threats keep you there. See if you can stay with friends or family but go somewhere. I would do this very soon. Keep yourself safe girl.
2007-11-27 13:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His family is delusional. And you really need to get away from this monster. If you live in a city of any size, there should be a crisis line of some sort that can make some referrals to get you out of harms way. Don't wait on him to leave. You should pack your stuff and find a safe place to stay....away from him.
2007-11-27 12:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by jeff b 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When he goes to work tomorrow, pack up and get the Hell out of there!!!!
Go to the nearest abuse shelter and never, never, never look back!!!!!!!!!!!
And I, too, recommend a restraining order!!!!
2007-11-27 12:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by braves squaw 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can get really good advice at www.survivinginfidelity. com---this site is great for advice on all kinds of situations. Good luck sweetie.
2007-11-27 13:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋