What do you do when your husband doesn't think that his online sexual encounters are cheating?

Answer 1

do the same thing. When he gets mad and he will tell him thats how you feel and maybe he will stop.

Answer 2

I agree with Sandy Ego. The world is not divided into such black and white terms as she had mentioned. However there are many shades of grey that are usually handled by the husband and wife coming together and calmly talking about what bothers them in the relationship. If you have done this and he still takes other people that he has never met before in cyber, side over yours on this then it is a clear sign of disrespect. So you have three options as I see it, 1. Talk to him about the problem again and really explain why you consider it cheating. Don't just say it is and not have any reasons to support your beliefs because he won't listen to you for a second time. 2. Get some marriage counselling if the issue is that serious. Sometimes a third party can help both the wife and husband figure out what is the real relationships going on in the marriage. Because sometimes it can be alot bigger than him being online with other people. 3. Leave him. I really don't believe anyone is that hard up for a man or woman for that matter to stay in a relationship where they know they are being disrespected like that. So I think if he doesn't make some changes after you talk to him and while you both go to therapy then there is always the door. No one is telling you to stay any place against your will, if you are feeling you aren't being treated the way you wish to be. If you stay it would be your doing not anyone else's.

P.S. I don't personally see it as cheating to be getting off online. I mean cyber sex is a bit of a quick release when the person needs to climax real fast. Some people just climax and go so fast there is nothing to it. Now if he was setting up meetings with women to meet them for some real action then you can say that is cheating. But til that happens then I think you shouldn't worry yourself over nothing.

Answer 3

It is cheating and in legal terms it can be defined as "Alienation of affection." Anytime someone is involved on a cyber emotional or sexual encounter and the spouse is not included is cheating. Any doctor or psychologist will tell you the same thing. The fact that he does not care about your feelings in this matter, tells me you two may have unresolved issues which need addressing. Good luck...

Answer 4

clarify sexual encounters.......does he just chat them up or does he meet them or just exchange pictures? I guess I would need the clarification to better guide my answer...but I will try to answer for all possibilities.

To me...all three of those are something I would not happy with and would consider cheating. Just looking at porn..ok, he can do that. But to actually talk with a girl online especially in a sexual way and exchange/receive pics? Yea...that is pushing the boundaries big time and you two need to really talk about it. Whether he views it as cheating or not-he should stop no matter what because it is bothering you. He should have the respect for you and your feelings to knock it off and find other more innocent ways (for lack of better words) to get his jollies off. I wouldn't necessarily jump to divorce since to him this does seem to an innocent twist to simple online porn, but if he didnt knock it off and respect your wishes, it might be a consideration down the road. If he doesnt respect your feelings on something like this, he might not respect your feelings and you elsewhere.

If he is meeting them off the internet....well, to me that is grounds for throwing his nuts in a blender and serving them to the dog with one of those little umbrellas in his food bowl. Oh, and of course-divorce. I learned young that the term "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is usually pretty true. Yes, there are those few exceptions (and I do mean FEW) but most of the time, they continue to try to get away with it.

Either way, if he doesn't understand you and your feelings, maybe go to a counselor. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, but one or two visits might do you both some good. A person that isn't on either side that can maybe see the views of both of you can better explain it to the other sometimes.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Ask him if he is a Christian.. then give him what Jesus said about anyone who cheats...

" Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. "..if he still does not get it after that.. without telling him ...call his pastor , tell him what is going on.. ask him to come over and explain it to your husband.

ANY kind of fornication/adultery is incorrect and is cheating.

If a man OR woman who pretends to be Christian and does not understand the ten commandments of God, then he
or she should never have gotten married or had children. He should never have dated anyone without carefully explaining his silly way of thinking BEFORE he even began "dating" anyone. Such people generally have zero respect for other humans occupying the planet and blame those they have sex with rather than blaming themselves... as well, such people often blame their spouse for the cheating.

What such a man should have done first so everyone could see him coming was to have a tattoo artist make a nice easily read sign on his forehead reading " slut here" so that no one could be decieved by him or her. But..you cannot expect an immature human who is willing to backstab all the people he or she claims to love with such an honest action.

Answer 6

Isn't it funny when they are doing wrong theres nothing wrong with it... if you were having online sexual encounters wonder what he would think. Men can rationalize anything ..hes not gonna stop... do you want to live like that... OF COURSE its cheating... hes a jerk!!

Answer 7

I would never out up with that crap. If I caught him, he'd never see me again, maybe if we crossed paths when I was getting my stuff. You get the idea. Men think yeah what ever about that stuff, but if women were to go online an even chat with a guy, we'd be in trouble with our spouse. You know what you gotta do, your just waiting for someone to tell you to do it. You know, so go through with it.

Answer 8

Even things that are not "cheating" may be unacceptable in a marriage. World is not divided into "cheating" and "not cheating". Throw him a bone - don't call it cheating. But if this behavior is unacceptable to you, then tell him this much. If your opinion doesn't matter to him, you have a tough choice: be walked on, or leave him.

Answer 9

Tell him to you they are cheating and if he really loves you he will understand and stop doing it. If he does not, then you know where you stand in the relationship. You can either live with it or get out.

Answer 10

Duh Tell him he is cheating and the next time he goes on will be you starting divorce proceedings!. Do not allow this idiot to walk all over you and your marriage what a moron. I think you need to tell him that it is no different then you talking dirty to him he is putting thought and emotions into it well that is cheating. Tell him lusting over someone is no different then screwing someone when your married you are to be connected to one person and that is your wife.

God Bless and Best Wishes maye you should get him to ask
one of his buddies and see what they say to him.

Answer 11

This was affecting my marriage, i google free web blockers and found a site called k9 protections. now he can't go on pron. TOO BAD, for him. If he gets mad, that that just tell you that he doesn't care about your feelings. This is a Huge problem for alot of women. My husband admitted he had a problem. Well, Problem fixed