Do you think this is bi-polar behavior or is he just messing with me?

Question

My bf of several years constantly gets depressed. He says that he hates people and if he was given a choice he wouldn't be living. That this life is not worth living. That as time passes he cares less and less about everything. That the only way he has discovered he can be happy, is to imagine the world is like he would like it to be. That he gets so carried away with it that he feels he will eventually make the imagining part a priority, and screw up everything in the real world. He says it's cool 'cause he can 'fly' without having to use drugs or alcohol. And that it's ok cause the point of life is to be happy, right? So it doesn't matter if it sounds crazy. That he doesn't want to have kids, what for?
Then, later, he says he cares about me, that he wants to live with me, and that we should be having a kid soon, before we get too old and end up looking like the kid's grandparents (we're both mid 20's). Gets upset cause i don't jump in saying i'd love to.

I would think he would be aware that right after telling me all that 'i care less and less' speech, i would surely be upset and concerned, and not too eager to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't want to live it.

Answer 1

Jade, you've got a good heart, but whats your purpose in this world? Honestly, are you just giving yourself away to this guy for loves sake? Boy would you hate to know that, THATS the problem? It is, because he is doing almost the samething BUT doesn't get as much feel good feelings as you do out of it. Not good really. But I can give you a very big peice of advice that might save this if you can connect the dots, actually two piece's.

1. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT HAPPINESS!!! ITS A STUGGLE TO FIND PEACE THRU UNDERSTANDING!!! Sorry to yell but not seeing how important this is, is going to hurt really decent people, life isn't happiness, life is about finding peace thru conflict, in a way, thru war, its strange, yes, but life is SERIOUS and happiness, happy neglects seriousness, beside people can't maintain happiness, but they can find peace....

2. A relationship without a purpose outside the love, or the simple goals of the individuals envolved is as moral as the purpose, which is actually a selfish purpose. No offense your 20 years old now, you should feel how ackward it is to base a relationship COMPLETELY on just the fact you love each other, this as long as people have partner up, has been a stupid idea. Relationships need a purpose to apply that love to, without that you get energy that has no place to go same problem as above really, so what if you love each other, if you don't do anything with it. This is also why we had religion, to guide the child rearing, which you most see has all became perversed, since, well america, lol....

But if you can change your preception and find a each other purpose other then just you sitting their letting him gripe because you love him, like maybe him learning enough to be COMPASSINATE enough to help this world.

Also a cool psychology trick!!! You'll love this! You want to figure out the truth behind why a person hurts so bad, ask him (and you might already know!) what WOULD be the perfect world for him. Let him explain in as much details as possible, this is a good way to get the real deal behind why he is hurting. Chances are, like the rest of us, espacially me, its because in our society its hard to have any meaning, or any identity that puts you in a position that makes you actually feel like an individual, which hurts the individual....