If Your love & you where early middle aged 40's would you have want to have a newborn?

Question

Be newly married and bring have a baby to together ?
even though each has children from previous marriage
or is to to late??

Answer 1

I think both need to discuss and let nature and LOVE take its course and see if a newborn is really what they want,
I see a child as a real living expression of the LOVE to people have for one another my LOVE fickleNIF♥™ are thinking about that ourselves hmmmm..

Answer 2

Absolutely. I am newly divorced, but separated for 6 years now. I look forward to meeting some one and falling in mutual love and most certainly starting a family. I have a 5 year old little girl and I know she would be gloriously happy. I am 42 and all the medical evidence thus far proves that with your doctor's advice and clean bill of health there is no reason not to. Middle age is 50 now, not 40 BTW.

Answer 3

My husband and I were in the exact same situation when we married.

Since you each have a child from a previous marriage, I wouldn't have a baby at this stage. We thought about it and decided our kids were old enough to stay home so we could travel. We made the right decision. Besides, you'll probably have grandchildren before long.

If you're still inclined to have a child now, see if you could babysit a friend or neighbor's kid for several hours. Raising a child at this age is hard work. I assume you each have a job and taking care of a baby will not be easy.

Answer 4

You are in the higher risk category, but ppl are having babies later and later... I don't think it is too late yet, but let's be honest... it is getting close and you can't wait too much longer.

It really depends on you, though, and what you want out of your life. My babies are the meaning for continuing this struggle day after day! Why are you still here?

Do you want to be in/near your 60's when your kid graduates? Do you have the energy/patience for a newborn in your 40's? Or, could you be happy living the rest of your life with your husband and not have kids together?

You both have raised kids... you know what it is all about...
I think asking yourself these questions will help you find the right answer; but I think that answer is in you... nothing any of us will say here really matters, in the end. You will have to decide what is right for you.

Answer 5

An old friend recently had a baby at 42....her oldest daughter just graduated high school. Obviously this is a hugely personal decision. Biology will play a big part. What are you and your husband willing to give up to have this new addition? Time and freedom at this age would be a huge sacrifice to me. You will be in your 60's by the time the baby is out of the house. Who can judge what will happen to us healthwise as we age. Have you looked at the big picture? I wish you the best and would tell you to follow your heart.

Answer 6

My brother had one child who was going to college when he found out his wife was pregnant. I can tell you two things: he has lots of patience with the second child, he's not physically able to do the things he use to do with the oldest one and he'll be close to 70 when the kid gets out of high school....AND to quote him "....I wouldn't recommend it for anyone".....so there you go.

Having a baby does isn't the cement that keeps a relationship together. Soon, you're going to have grandbabies and you can you can take your maternal feelings and pour them out to the grandchild.

I personally feel that if God wanted middle aged women to have babies, their eggs wouldn't shrink up and die in their forties. My husband and I married in our forties; between us we have 11 grandbabies and that keeps us busy. I went through the same "thing" that you're going through....now, I'm so glad it's just me and him. We talk about how our babies would have been so beautiful; then we visit the grandbabies (I'm good for 48 hrs., sometimes 72 tops), then we come home to our cats. Our health isn't like it was when we were in our 20's but...Life is good and is as it's suppose to be. God love ya...!!

Answer 7

We bought a puppy instead. I think she may have wanted to but I have been "fixed" so that wasnt going to happen. I had three, two who are grown.
Its not really too late. Borderline. If she is in good health the risk should be minimal. Better to adopt at this stage or buy a puppy.

Answer 8

I can tell you only my point of view. I'm 41 male, GF's 39, I raised two step kids from my marriage to adulthood, GF has son about to turn 12, dad doesn't really come around, pay support only makes false promises that sort of thing, I have no children of my own. I had always thought I wanted children, my ex wife would not have one for me, she was afraid if she did I would not care for her children over my own even though I treated hers like they were mine. Its harder on me the second time now because I know I can be a good dad because I have done it but instead I find myself just being a good friend instead of a dad. But his dad calls now and then and even though he knows his dad is a POS he is not ready to admit that to himself so I dont think he would accept me as dad anyway. I also feel my GF would like another child, time is ticking away but I dont want to start raising a baby at 41 years old, its a lot of work. Plus her son is getting old enough he can be left alone so we can do things without him and as he becomes more independant we will have more time for us. and even though it might sound selfish, you need that "us" time. I have seen many couples out and about with teenage children and the baby also which means either teen mommy of second/third marriage with new baby. It just seems like thats what many people do, gotta have that baby even though they have already raised their kids and its getting to a time in their life to start to relax a bit and enjoy themselves. For some people having the kids might be what they really enjoy doing so they do it, for me, I raise other mens children and have had many joys doing this, it makes me think when I get to be there for that major accomplishment and bio dad is not, he has missed the best part of parenthood, but I also get to deal this the bad points and they have not.

You have to make oyur own desision, if being a parent is the most joyfull thing in both your lives then do it. If you enjoyed raising your kids but feel more like "been there, done that" then dont, a baby is a lot of work. Plus the world is ever changing, jobs are not a secure as they were, costs are way up on everything, kids getting ready ofr or in college, maybe grandbabies soon to come (that grandbaby can fill that void and you get to give it back). If you 40 now you will be almost 60 when this one gets ot of high school, people in my family dont live that long. Will you be able to keep up with a toddler? pre-teen? teenager? and all when your supposed to be done with that part of your life and enjoying yourself a bit.

Answer 9

It's not to late, especially if having a baby will bring you happiness. You're most likely to live another 60 years and with medical advances maybe more.

Answer 10

If the two of you are both very healthy than I don't see a problem with it. Many men and women have children at this age. If you don't do it now, than it WILL be too late!!!

Keep in mind that you will be considered a high risk pregnancy, because of your age.

Good Luck!!!