How do I get my daughter's teacher to STOP picking on her?

Question

There is only 1 gifted class in her school and she is in it. Her teacher has this discipline plan that includes popsicle sticks. If the kid get 6, they get a treasure (candy or stickers, etc) To a 5 year old, this is huge. The teacher gives her one stick every day and then makes my daughter walk over and give up her stick EVERY DAY for clarifying the instructions in a center, reading to loud with headsets on, etc. I left her a voice mail telling her I support her just to let her know that I would work with my daughter, but this is ridiculous. Now she has my daughter thinking I am against her and with the teacher. My 5 year old is miserable. She is doubting herself. I told her father, my ex husband, and his response was that I AM NOT GOING TO TELL THE TEACHER I THINK SHE IS PICKING ON HER and then "he hangs up on me!" What the hell do I do???

Answer 1

say it to teacher directly

Answer 2

I believe that if a child is given a reward for whatever reason, then that reward is the child's, period. If the teacher sometime later thinks the child needs a sanction imposing then taking away the earlier reward should absolutely not be the sanction. This can only be confusing and upsetting to the child, especially as you say to a five year old.

You really do need to make an appointment with her teacher and to discuss this issue fully and each of you with an open mind. If your daughter is bored and not being challenged then her work plan needs adjusting. It may be something else like is she partly deaf? Could that be why she speaks loudly? Does your daughter understand the etiquette of the classroom; speaking quietly, hands up to get the teacher's attention, waiting her turn, being given permission to ask questions, etc, whatever the paticular requirements are for her class. After all, she is very young and if she is extra sensitive, perhaps it is only her perception that she is being picked on, perhaps the teacher does this to all the children in the class?

Good luck with this.

Answer 3

The first thing you really need to do is talk to the teacher. There's an old joke among teachers -- a parent comes in to conferences and starts reaming out the teacher for all of the things that are gong on in the classroom. The teachers says, "I'll tell you what. I promise I won't believe everything that your child says goes on at home, if you promise not to beleive everything that your child says goes on at school." I'm not calling your child a liar by any stretch of the imagination, but I would encourage you to talk to your daughter's teacher. She may not understand how this is affecting your child and you. In addition, she may need more understanding about your child. I was gifted myself, and currently teach gifted children. I got in trouble constantly as a kid for talking too much, being silly, etc... all because I was bored out of my skull. Some teachers who teach gifted education have had little to no training, and don't realize that each gifted child has very specific needs, not unlike a special education student. By talking to the teacher, you can help her learn more about your daughter, and hopefully help her to understand her just a bit more. I hope this helps. A miserable gifted five year old is not a pleasant thing.

Answer 4

Get your booty in there and talk to the teacher face to face. You DO NOT tell your child anything that you and the teacher discuss. Ever. Also, I think you should have your own reward program at home. Find some super-cool stickers or something (not candy!) and when she makes her bed without being asked or if she does something good, then she gets a sticker. At the end of the week, if she has a certain amount of stickers (whatever amount you decide) then she gets to go with you to get an ice cream, or you go see a movie. Make it special.

Answer 5

Go talk to the teacher personally. Also go and observe the class for a couple of days. SIt in the back. Be a silent observer. Ask if there is an area where you can observe your child interact with her classmates and teacher.
Then you make up your mind. Either help if there is a problem or pull your child out of that class if you disagree with the teachers methods.

Answer 6

Let the teacher know your concerns, if that doesn't help, talk to the principal, if that doesn't work, go tot the education board, and all the way on up to the governor if needed.

I've had to take things as high as the mayor.... things will change if they have any thought it may be damaging to a child.

Do not let the teacher ever think you may bring it to the principal, same rule applies with the principal and school board.

Answer 7

If you do not feel satisfied with dealing with the teacher, I would go directly to the principal. As an observer, the principal may not be as disruptive as it may be if you were to observe. If you don't feel you are getting satisfaction there, take it to the school board. Before you make a public outcry, however, be sure to have backup documentation to prove your story. You don't want your daughter to end up with the reputation of having the difficult mother.

Answer 8

move her out of that class room. i know, it's gifted, but if it's this bad, she shouldn't have to put up with this. or if you really don't want to do that, then go to the principle's office and be stern and honest. tell him/her you want something done about her. i had the same problem, when i was in second grade my teacher did the same thing to me. i was miserable too, and i dreaded going to school. so, my mother went to the principle, he wouldn't change my class, so i moved to a school next door.

there's really nothing else you can do besides talk to her, talk to the principle or move her out of that class or out of that school. if the principle doesn't support you or agree with you on this type of subject, your daughter shouldn't even be there.

Answer 9

If it were me I would go beat the living sh*t out of that teacher. She is systematically crushing your daughter's spirit and sounds sadistic. SHE is the one who needs a lesson and a good azz kicking would go a long way in giving it to her.

Answer 10

talk to the teacher...if it continues...talk to the principle...simple as that
if even that continues...B!TC# her out!