Imagine you told a girl you really love how you feel and they go along with it and pretend they have feelings for you. They kiss you and flirt with you even after you tell them how you feel. The day you really get mad and are already sick of not getting any answers, you demand an answer. She says she has no feelings for you and that she knew you had feelings for her. You tell her you don't want to talk to her anymore and that you cannot befriend her. A couple months pass, she ends up in your class. You two talk often but just casual. A time comes when you go and stand in back of her and put your hands on her shoulders while she is sitting. She says "you're making me nervous" Why would she say this to me?
She is bisexual and I just happened to really fall for her. She had a bf at the time and still has the same bf now. I got to know her and really knew about her life and challenges she's gone through. I just really wanted to be there for her and show her that I really love her.
2007-11-27 10:00:51 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Please don't tell me "move on, find someone better, you deserve better" I just want an opinion of why she would act that way towards me and say such a thing.
2007-11-27 10:02:22 · update #1
She wasn't involved with anyone when we got close and I told her how I felt. The hands on shoulders thing happened months after she told me she didn't like me and that she knew I liked her. You should really read and then answer.
2007-11-27 10:36:07 · update #2
She likely has self-esteem issues, and your attention was a boost to her ego when she needed it.
But now, she is uncomfortable around you because she feels guilty for using you (and leading you on).
That's MY take, anyhow.
2007-11-27 10:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar situation going on right now, but if you really care about a person you should just worry about that person being happy. It's always ideal if that person shares the same feelings for you, but if they do not feel that in return it's always better to respect their choices. I know it hurts and sucks, but there are truly tons of people out there and what motivates me being single is getting my own life pieced together how I would want it. That way when I meet someone I know exactly who I am. I hope my advice helps you out.
2007-11-27 10:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by Christopher H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she was trying to be nice and not break your heart. its probably did make her uncomfortable because she has a bf and doesnt want pressure to end the relationship (if she doesnt want others to know shes bi, it just might have freaked her out not wanting others to know.) she wasnt sure what you meant by touching her shoulders. it was a mixed message. it could have meant a lot of things in her mind, such as :
i still love you
i'm sorry
i wanna be friends
i really hate you.
a lot of those might seem radical or wonder how she would get that idea, but i know you dont want me to tell you to move on, because thats hard. but its the best you can do. if you love her, be happy that she's happy. best of luck to you
)o(
2007-11-27 10:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by Pluto VT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the reason she feels uncomfortable when you put your hands on her shoulders is because she knows you have feelings for her, and she doesnt want to be put in a situation where you think there might be something between you again, if she were to act positive to your touching her. She has a bf, and did while you liked her. Why would you want to try to have a relationship with someone in one already, that is totally setting yourself up for failure. If she is faithful, she wont leave him, and if she did leave him for you, would you want someone who might cheat on you with someone, then leave you for them?
2007-11-27 10:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by Pony B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's obviously an asshole, to do that to someone. No one can tell you why she would act this way except for her. I'd say to leave her alone, not talk as much, etc. Hopefully she'll see that she misses you (as a friend or whatever more) and will get in contact with you. If she does, you both need to establish clear boundaries.
2007-11-27 10:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by Sara H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't feel the same way about you that you feel for her. Also, maybe she really isn't in to women as much as you thought. She is still w/ her boyfriend. She may have just wanted to see what it was like and realized she wasn't attracted to women. Over all, I think your strong feelings toward her make her uncomfortable because she does not share the same feeling for you.
2007-11-27 10:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I suppose that . . . you really were making her nervous or . . . nervous in a good way "I really enjoy being around you and you getting close to me is making me think about you" kind of way. I hope it(or something like it) works out. Well good luck to you both if she is the ONE or if you and her are just better off as friends. Take care ;-)
2007-11-27 10:08:21 · answer #7 · answered by ☮~☼~Indigo Child~☼~☮ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just doesn't think she is ready for that kind of relationship. She might be uncertain and that's why she felt nervous, backed out of it, and has a boyfriend now. I'm sorry about your situation and I hope everything works out for the better.
2007-11-27 10:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by Elise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess she was just playing. She was probably intrigued that you had feelings for her, but then it sank in and she freaked out about it - and dropped you like a hot potato. Now she feels bad and awkward and uncomfortable around you.
Or else.. .she really did have feelings for you, but got scared and backed away from you.
Yuo can't force her to accept you. Give her time and space (and don't touch) and see if she comes around.
2007-11-27 10:11:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kara J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she soundz lik a cold-hartd bich@ss MF who n33ds 2 figur out who she iz b4 messin ar0und wi any1 else. movin on to som1 new dosnt meen th 2 of u cant b frndz or whtev, but keep hr @ a distance till she figur out what & who she want. good luck!
2007-11-28 09:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋