He broke up with me but says he still loves me, is there hope?

Question

So my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. We haven't really been that happy for the last year but mostly because we've moved to a new area and have no friends so we were stuck with each other. I've realized through this break up how awful we were to each other for the last year, but I also realize I that I still love him. I tried to break up with him a few times but he always begged me to stay. This is the first time he has broken up with me. I was and still am a mess. I begged him to come back and he refused saying he really needed to find out who he was and he needed to be happy with himself before he can be happy with me. We've talked pretty much everyday since the break up. I dont know what to do because when I see him, it hurts all over again knowing I cant be with him, but I dont want to lose him. Should I stop talking to him for a few weeks? Should I try to be his friend even though its going to be really hard for me? I'm so confused and hurt.

Answer 1

You probably don't want to hear this and you probably won't listen, because girls only hear what they want to hear when they think they are in love, but it is probably over. If you guys were having a lot of problems and tried to break up before, there was a reason. When you two moved away from others you got a dose of reality, what it would be like if you got married, and the outlook was not so good. He probably seems so great now, and you probably seem a good bit better to him, because you aren't together, but the moment you two get back together all of the problems tnat were in your relationship before are going to resurface, trust in that. Problems don't resolve themselves by separating, and if the two of you couldn't find a way to work through the difficult stuff, then you probably won't. Three years is a lot of time to put into a relationship, and if it didn't work out, and both of you contemplated leaving multiple times, there were reasons. I think, as hard as it will be, you should move on, and that will NEVER get any easier by talking to him every day. He has made a choice to move on, and though he's talking to you, that's what he's doing. No matter what he says, and the point is going to come when he enters a new relationship. You need to do the same, for yourself and your own good. You will feel a lot better soon enough, take a little time for yourself, and then just try to find someone more like you, so that you don't enter a new relationship with the same problems you two shared. Good luck!

Answer 2

I KNOW HOW U FEEL. Going trough this myself, he left 2 month ago for another woman. we been together for 61/2 years.
I feel your pain, and understand what you are trying to do, we women wait and wait some more for him to come back, your soule is broken and we still wait. He might never come back again and if so it would be the same. I tried to be my ex's friend that didn't work, he just doesn't want any contact with me, i think its for the best. However, i wish all these thoughts in my head of him would stop and i could focuse on me he is on my mind 24/7 i try to forgett but this seems to be the hardest. You will hurt for some time and friends tell me time will make it better until we can move on . So just give some time and let your heart heal don't stay in touch with him! now you need some time for you.
Keep your head up sending my love.
ME

Answer 3

I think you should give it a little time apart and see if he contacts you. If he doesn't and you really still want to give your relationship another go, just try being friends. It sounds like you've learned from past mistakes.

If it's too painful for you to be around him or he doesn't seem open to give it another try, you need to accept it and spend some time healing. Three years is a long time to be with someone.

Either way, I wish you the best.

Answer 4

That sucks, but it seems like a common story. I would definetly not say its over for sure. It's like Kramer said on Seinfeld, breaking up is like pushing over a refrigerator, it takes a lot of pushes to get it rocking before it actually falls over. Continue to talk to him but try not to be too obsessive about it. If you want to get back with him try being his friend for a while, then after some time has passed see what happens.

Answer 5

R u retarded? u might not have anyone else but he's not worth it anymore. I'm sorry to tell u but those 3 years were a waste! @ 1st i know it will b hard as hell but u need to get off of that guy or u'll b going bak 2 him and the same story will happen over and over. B STRONG!!!

Answer 6

Woman don't like this option, but it's true that a man can love a woman from a distance. It does not mean he wants to reconnect, but his ego is in play here and it can be a little hard for him to let go completely.
I Cr 13;8a
Ps 122;6
Ps 92;1

Answer 7

i think the guy find the relationship monotonous already...no more excitement as they say compared few years back...and the only escape is that he needed time to think what really makes him happy...the best thing to do is both of you need space and time...allowing to enjoy life individually ...start all over as friends, no commitment...just be there if he wants your company...and for you keep going ...let go and make yourself busy...

Answer 8

I have been in your situation before. What I did was cut all ties with him and then he came back and married me. You need to be all or nothing. Say if you don't want to be aprt of my life then there will be no ties, no communication, no nothing. Then once he realizes how much he misses you he will come back.

Answer 9

It's over. This relationship has been always rocky and even if you love each other, it has never worked out.

Cut yoru loses and move on. There is no point to keep on dragging this any further.

Good luck *sorry**

Answer 10

Yeah I agree with Diamond, this guy will only continue to hurt you in the future.