the problem is that my ex bf father of my kids his family still likes me the kids 4 of them call me auntie my ex's sister likes me to vist her the mom talks to me the brother and dad as well i went to their house with my kids on thanksgiving and had dinner with them the problem is that my bf says that its not right to be going over their house and spending time with them he said it's ok to let my kids see them but for me not to visit them.. should i listen to my bf or should i not???
2007-11-27 09:14:56 · 14 answers · asked by valrietorres 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually you should have been able to figure this one out on your own and not have to listen to your bf. Your kids might be part of your ex's family, but YOU are not. That kind of comes with the dovorce and falls under the category of common sense. Picture this, you go over to YOUR parents house with your new bf and lo and behold, there's your ex. Of course you would be okay with your ex hanging out with your family right? No way. Stay away from the ex's family and everyone will be a lot happier.
2007-11-27 09:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by smf_hi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 19 yr and have 2 kids with my ex.. i still visit certain family member.. and even stay over night at one of them for the week end..as they live in orlando and i in jacksonville.fl.. here is the thing.. i brought my bf with me to stay the weekend.. they did not mind.. he did not mind.. i will not go somewhere he can not go.. but now if i see them in the store i will talk to them.. the ones that i am close to i will still talk to and go over to see.. but he had 6 sister and 4 brothers.. out of that there is one sister.. and one brothers ex wife.. the rest of them.. the kids go and see when he has them.. and when we run into each other at the wal mart .. we say HI.. and make small talk.. i always introduce the ones that i have not introduce to my bf.. and explain who they are and who he is.. no confusion that way..
2007-11-27 09:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why he felt uneasy. Put yourself in his shoes. For thanksgiving would you feel okay knowing he is at his "baby momma's" with the kids without you, spending time. He may think you still have feelings for your ex. Get to common ground on visiting and issues like this to where you BOTH are comfortable in order for this to work. Compromise. Next holiday take the kids to dinner at grandmas but take them to stepgrandmas too. Everybody is happy then.
2007-11-27 09:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by Sharen H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes because you are disrespecting you new bf you have no right but if you want to be were your kids are then tell him that let him know hey my kids need to be with there other fanily and I need to be there to watch him ask you ex bf parents if it is okay for him to come around for them to respect him becuase he is your new man and that for some reason or the other it did not work out with your ex.
2007-11-27 09:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But it's not with your ex right? It is still your kids' family. It is important to support your kids' relationship with their other family. Your bf needs to be more supportive and less jealous. Now if you were having these kinds of realations with your ex himself... that would be crossing some boundaries!
2007-11-27 09:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your bringing the kids over to see their family but youre going along only as afriend of the family and nothing more and definitely not to start any trouble
2007-11-27 09:29:53 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to your bf since you are living with him...but let him understand that your relationship with former bf family cant be stop since you have kids with that former bf...i think its more of understanding and respect when it comes to past relationship...but give more time to your present bf...dont let him feel jealous, give him much needed care and attention...show more love...in this way, who knows he will be the one to encourage you to bring the kids there for a visit...
2007-11-27 09:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by lyn1322 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is right. Your ex's family is no longer your family. It great they are still friendly to you. I am still friendly to my ex in-laws. I talk to them when I see them to drop off my daughter, but we do not hang out. Your future is with your boyfriend. Let your kids spend time with your ex in-laws. You can be nice but keep your distance.
2007-11-27 09:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he can't handle it too bad. You've known these ppl before you met and friendships arent meant to be disposable for the sake of someones opinion.
2007-11-27 09:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by CreativeMusicArtist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very right of you to be a part of their lives. those are your kids family members...they will be around alot longer than the boyfriend
2007-11-27 09:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋