I am in the middle of a nasty divorce and I have asked my parents and my four brothers on more than one occastion to stop inviting my soon to be ex-husband and his mother to family functions. They still are doing this. Actually this past weekend 2 of my brothers actually called him to hang out with him and have all the kids get together and my parents actually took my ex mother in law out to dinner. This is a man that cheated on me as well as laid his hands on me. I guess I feel like my family doesn't care about how I feel about this at all.
I feel like telling them I will not be at the annual Christmas dinner with the family this year. I feel this way because I don't feel like my family cares about me at all. What do you think?
2007-11-27 09:13:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your stupid parents that you are no longer married to this guy and that them asking him and his mother to holiday functions is just wrong and puts you in a foul mood and if they do it this year your not coming. Like I have written I agree with you it is time to show them that you no longer want anything to do with this guy. That if they love or care for you what so ever then they will stop communication with him ASAP.
Tell them he is a lying cheating A sshole and wish that they not talk with him anymore or have him around unless they want to be disowned by there daughter and there sister.
2007-11-27 09:25:11 · answer #1 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel like telling them I will not be at the annual Christmas dinner with the family this year. I feel this way because I don't feel like my family cares about me at all. What do you think?
I think you should tell them that you wont be there if he is invited and that you don't appreciate them inviting him in the past.
If you go to the dinner and he shows up, don't make a scene, just get up and walk out.
Your family is not respecting your feelings in the matter and the only way they are going to start is if you take a stand. You can't kick him out of someone else's home and it is rude to make a scene. So, get up and walk out. When they phone you and ask why you left explain that you will no longer spend time with him unless it is of your choosing.
You are the leader of your existence.
2007-11-27 10:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by patience 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'd be really hurt by that. Unfortunately, we can't pick our families, we just get cosmically lumped with a group of people who may all be on the same page or might be completely different and weird. It's all luck of the draw.
I'm guessing from what you wrote that your ex has made friends with a lot of your family members during your marriage? I suppose that makes it tricky, but blood is thicker than water in my opinion, and your family should stand by you during your divorce instead of hanging out with your ex. Maybe you could let them know, when your ex is not present, that you are trying to move forward in your new life without your ex and you'd appreciate that during family events your ex not be invited. If they continue to do so, and it's uncomfy for you, then I guess your only option would be to opt out of going, but I hope that's not how it ends up going for you. I hope your family supports you and is understanding.
Good luck.
2007-11-27 09:34:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be the only way to get your point across....if you find out your ex & his mother will be there, then politely decline the invitation,or inform your family nicely that you have other plans,and will continue to have other plans for holiday get togethers if they insist on inviting the abusive ex......sounds like your family is attempting to get you back with your ex and that they all need a reality check if he is an abuser.....Good Luck.
2007-11-27 10:32:07 · answer #4 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like they are making their choices. I have no problems with your brothers wanting to hang with him as a friend. And cousins are still cousins so they should get together. But it is time for him to not be a part of the family gatherings. If they continue to choose him, take a hike. Go out to dinner with friends or something.
2007-11-27 09:19:27 · answer #5 · answered by Brent 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have to let them know you are serious. Explain to them that you do not want him invited to functions where you will be attending. And if someone does invite him, you will not only leave but also be very upset at whoever made the invitation despite your opposition. That's a good starting point.
2007-11-27 09:40:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats gotta hurt, ouch. Well all you can do if your family wants so badly to have this abusive ex in their lives, is avoid them all together like that other person on here said, go out with friends. Your family maybe wants you to get back with him or something? Perhaps he denies what he did to you to them? Who knows, I came from a semi-dysfunctional family myself, I know how hard it is to deal with people like that. :/
2007-11-27 09:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have them all do a sit down with you, repeat exactly what you wrote here to them and if they still want to put a man who disrespected you and abused you before you, then you might want to just stay away from them. Tell them you need their support and you do not feel they care about you and supporting you in your time of need.
2007-11-27 09:31:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your family. he's an ex for a reason and they need to respect you more.
2015-11-19 04:47:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go if they're coming. They are not being supportive of you. I think they will get the message and choose you. Right now they are divorcing your ex too. Your ex is a lame-o for going. that loser!!!
2007-11-27 09:19:29 · answer #10 · answered by Me 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋