i have been married and faithful for 23 yrs to an alcoholic who is very abusive verbally our child is grown and married and I met a man who is also married and in a bad relationship but has two young children. We were perfect for each other but his wife found out and now she is using the children against him to keep us apart. He is torn and I want out. We want more than anything to be together but i will not come between him and his children. I never thought that I would ever meet anyone like him and he feels the same. I told him to talk to an attorney to see what his rights are but he is scared to death of losing his children and I am scared to death of losing him. Should we just let it go and see what happens?
2007-11-27 08:53:31 · 11 answers · asked by cme4ins 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you though abouit your OWN children?
WOW... two cheaters... you deserve each other.
2007-11-27 09:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are between a rock and a hard place. Stop and think about what you just wrote, then place yourself in the wife's place. If you truly care about this man and his relationship with his children BACK OFF. I can speak as the wife whose husband "found" the love of his life, the story he spun for her had no basis in real life. It wasn't until she and I talked that the whole story came out, he was trying to have his cake and eat it to and ended up hurting both of us. If this relationship is meant to be, then he will take the steps needed to bring it about. Until then, keep in mind that he is married ( as you are ) and their are other people involved here to.
2007-11-27 17:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by jen_ny6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right on if they divorce, chances are mom will be awarded custody of the children, not because of the affair but its the way the courts are, unless mom is ruled unfit via child or drug/mental abuse. He will get visitation rights and have to pay child support but he will not really lose his kids, just not be around them as much. So he has a big decision to make. If hes the breadwinner of his family, he could get hit with spousal support too. Good luck and Happy Holidays
2007-11-27 17:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip. Put your lust aside and think of what is best for his children and not your own selfish desires. There is nothing perfect about your affair with this married man. You stand to break up a family and you have to ask if you should let it go?
Try getting a clue and dating a single man next time. At the moment your clue meter is registering zero!
My Compliments.
2007-11-28 18:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by Faceless 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is willing to go to divorce and you are willing to do the same, then you two have a future.
I have a friend that was marry to an alcoholic/gambler/druger/abusive pshycial guy. She said she didn't want to leave. But once she did, 5 years ago. I ask her, are you happy. She said "YES. Should have left him sooner"
As for the kids, they want their parent to be happy too. Don't just think they are kids, they know what is right and what is wrong around the house.
Another friend of mine told her mom, "mom you should divorce my father. I am on yourside." Which the mother did and the daughter supported.
2007-11-27 17:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two married people in another relationship with
someone else probably will not work out since
children are involved.
Two divorced people in another relationship
will have a better chance of working out if children
are involved, so you choose the first or the latter.
2007-11-27 21:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can relate to you both look both of you too had bad relationships with both your ex"s dont give up stick to your guns and let him have his kids and you too as well his wife is just being crazy itsnt it sad when a wife cant let go??? i feel for you dont leave him stick with him lifes to short to not be happy.. and his kids are going to learn that he's done with the mother and that he found someone that treats him alot better then she did meaning you.... i wish you the best stay with him.
2007-11-27 17:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by valrietorres 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! a married man! This ones gonna be tough but if you 2 have no future with your spouses then its worth a try to get together! ................Good Luck
2007-11-27 17:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let him go & he does everything in his power to be with you then you know he truly loves you if he don't then he don't really love you & you aren't meant to be.
2007-11-27 17:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by MILF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seems like a good women...Don't become a homewrecker. Let it (him) go!
2007-11-27 17:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by Angela M. R. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋