My boyfriend has 2 kids from a previous marriage. I have no kids. He is 34, I am 26. He is a great guy, he loves his kids...however, he can not afford them. With their last visit, he asked my PARENTS to purchase diapers because he was so broke. I would like to get married one day and possibly have kids of my own. I am somewhat successful as a teacher, and can clearly take care of myself. But, I would also like to feel financially secure with my partner, and know that I would never have to financially support his children. I love his kids, but I also feel like he pawns them off on me to take care of them when it gets a little too intense for him. Lord knows, I am NO MOTHER, but I try very hard. I feel like I have a lot to offer. Should I stay in it for the long haul? Or should I leave? Or, because I am so close with the kids, am I now stuck? I just need a little advice.
2007-11-27 08:52:55 · 14 answers · asked by MICHELLE B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like it is time to sit down with this guy and have a heart to heart. Tell him your concerns and the financial worries and let him know what you want. Maybe you can work together to achieve your goal.
It is a bad sign that he was willing to ask your parents for diapers for the babies. That is something that he may always do.
If he is not willing to talk, then you walk. Make a clean break and find someone who is on the same path as you.
Don't let the situation linger and it will only get more difficult to remedy.
2007-11-27 09:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by berns63 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh WOW!! This is tough. I would not rush into marriage right now. I think your boyfriend needs to be a little more financially stable and take care of his own kids. I'm sure that he is paying child support and that would take away money from your house hold if you were to marry. I am not trying to sound selfish here but it would not be fair to you to have to sacrifice for his children. He should be the one that sacrifices and possible get another job or a part time one and stop asking your parents to help. Poor kids. Good luck to you honey, you sound like a smart young lady and I'm sure you will do the right thing.
2007-11-27 17:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by tn2vegas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN AWAY Girl, quickly. Asking your parents for money, oh my, bad behaviour on his part. Guys like this tend to be suckers and will bleed you dry!!! When your ready you will make the choice to have children or accept a man with kids. I have never had much luck with guys that have kids. Too much baggage
2007-11-27 17:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Kitan13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are already questioning the relationship you should already know the answer. If you do stay with him and you have a child with him how would you both be able to take care of 3 kids and the bills that are included??? Something to ponder.....
2007-11-27 17:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lacie D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its up to you to make yourself financial secure.
This guys sounds like he needs to grow up a bit.
Its kind of sad that his idea of being a Dad is to pass off his kids. Remember men don't change.
2007-11-27 17:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run as fast as you can...get out of this now before you make the mistake of your life. You want security, but he's not secure in any way...not enough money and can't handle his own kids? Get the H out of there!!!
2007-11-27 16:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by gma 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with and talk and set some goals for your relationship. Sometimes we need to plan a strategy in order for things to work. I hope this helps.
2007-11-27 16:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU will end up paying the tab for his kids if you stay with him. Drop this guy like a hot potato!
2007-11-27 17:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices:
Leave
Or stay and make a life with him, and take on the financial and practical responsibilities. And you CANNOT complain about it LATER.
2007-11-27 16:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stay involved they will be your kids..
He's looking for someone to take them over...
I feel sorry for the kids, but I wouldn't stay in that situation....
2007-11-27 16:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋