My husband loves me but says he's not "in love" with me anymore, but still wants to be a part of my life and us deal together on a day to day basis. How do I separate myself from the part of me that's still "in love" with him and be able to be happy
2007-11-27 08:27:09 · 8 answers · asked by gullible 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't and it makes no sense to try. Either he loves you and wants to be part of your life or he wants to be able to sleep with you and someone else at the same time. this is another way of controlling you and preventing you from getting on with your life and finding someone who does love you. I will give you a website which may help but he sounds like a jerk and that you can do much better by filing for a divorce and getting on with your life. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-27 08:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused. So does he want a divorce? If he isn't in love with you I'd say divorce is the next thing to do. Why would he be so unfair to just have you pretty much being tortured by sticking around on a day to day basis? That's a like a starving person put in a room with a cheeseburger that's surrounded by electrical wire. He doesn't make any sense. I would suggest you be kind to yourself and walk out if he doesn't. That's not right and it's not healthy.
2007-11-27 08:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is that you can't. At least not right now. Right now the pain is still too fresh and the relationship would just be too confusing. He can't have his cake and eat it too.
Maybe at some point, when you heal some and think things out, the two of you can be friends.
You just have to be honest with him. You may not be in love with me any more but I am still in love with you. I can't pretend I am not. It hurts me that I know you don't feel the same and I don't know how to deal with it.
Confront him about what he means by a day by day basis. Does that mean he is trying to work it out and stay together? Does it mean he is staying with you our of pity? Does it mean that he is just sticking with you until he finds something better? And what are the rules of this day by day plan?
2007-11-27 08:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that not being "in love" with someone is a normal part of a relationship. Of course you're not going to have that In Love feeling all the time--that would get very tiring!
I don't know that you'd be able to immediately be able to separate from him without being hurt. At least not in the beginning.
2007-11-27 08:47:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign up for a support group.
2007-11-27 08:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get really good advice at www.survivinginfidelity. com---this site is great for advice on all kinds of situations. Good luck sweetie.
2007-11-27 14:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is trying to keep the door open for sex
2007-11-27 11:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by helpfull2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WTF??? Sorry. Please don't put yourself in that position, you will never be able to heal with that arrangement. This sounds so very wrong to me.
2007-11-27 08:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋