Bisexual People....?

Question

Ok, folks, I have heard and seen too many questions on YAnswers and in life to not post this...

Lets define cheating: Sexual contact with someone other than your spouse or significant other.
Lets define Marriage: A social, religious, and/or legal contract between two people involving vows that stipulate that the couple will remain monogamous until one dies.

So, it IS cheating if you are bisexual and having sexual contact with a person of your same sex. Even if your spouse knows and is ok with it.
Bisexuality doesn't give you an out clause. EVERYONE wants to have extramarital sex at one time or another. Generally, we don't do it becuase we made vows to our spouses. Words like "unless you're bi" or "Forsaking all others of the opposite sex, but same sex is ok" probably didn't appear in the vows...
So, if you are having sex outside the marriage, you are cheating and you have broken your vows.
Stop asking! If you really thought it was really harmless, you wouldn't have to ask!

Just because you and/or your spouse are comfortable with cheating, doesn't mean its not cheating.

Ok, swap out the word "cheating" for the word "adultery". Either way you phrase it, its still the same trhing, even if you and your spouse decide to have an open marriage. I make no judgements on open marriage, but I am just sick of the people on here trying to rationalize what they have chosen to do. If you break your vows and have adulterous relationships with the consent of your spouse, in all reality is it still adultery and still breaking your vows. At least admit to it and move on.

I think society as a whole would have more respect for those in open relationships if the people involved would simply stop trying to retionalize and just say "Yes, we have adulterous sex with other people and we are ok with that".

And if we decided to let people define marriage and what is permissible in a marriage, then we need to make same sex marriages and polygamy legal, as well.

Answer 1

GOOD POINT

Answer 2

I have to disagree with you for many reasons.

The fundamental flaw with your argument is that you assume that man is made for law and not the other way around. What I mean by this is that instead of understanding the reason behind social standards and applying them where necessary you make blanket statements.

You make a definition of marriage as if every single person and relationship in the world is the same. Everyone is different and a marriage is a contract between two unique individuals. Some couples are capable of having sex with other people and being perfectly happy, other couples are not. It all depends on the people involved.

The reason people ask this question is because society creates a stigma around this subject, but again the law is for man. Just because society dictates something is right or wrong does not mean that it is. If society really does dictate what is right and wrong then Hitler's actions were justiced, because he was supported by his society. The fact that social rules are always changing is clear evidence why people need to live by their own value system.

So please re frame from making generalizations that have no other purpose than to impose your morals on others. You must accepts others as they are and not expect the world to live by your particular standards.

Also, this is an open community and anybody has the right to ask any question. Even if they're aren't actually questions.

Answer 3

Cheating is whatever is against the rules, by definition, whether it be in marriage, taxes, or Monopoly.

Your definition of cheating is really the definition of adultery. Am I a cheater when I have sex with other people and my husband is doing their wife? No. Am I committing adultery? Yes. I suppose this is a matter of nit-picking at words - my husband and I are totally in love and are dedicated to a life with each other. That is what our vows mean to us. Forsaking all others? In what sense? I think that means you are each other's top priority in marriage - not just sexually.

The bisexuality nature of such things is irrelevant. If same-sex play is allowed in a marriage, it is not cheating. If opposite-sex play is allowed, it is not cheating.

Marriage is a contract - and like any contract can be amended or terminated with the agreement of all parties.

Answer 4

I think in a relationship/marriage that explicits the monogamous vow it is cheating when you have an extra-marital relationship whether is same sex or opposite sex. However, there are couples, marriages who have said explicitly that they can have affairs with other people, then that is not cheating because both partners agreed upon it.

Answer 5

Cheating is a relative term. One couple's cheating is another couple's open relationship, regardless of sexual preference. It's the same debate as the ones surrounding the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewensky fling 10 years ago- whether oral sex constitutes sex or not. Same agument.

Answer 6

Okay, the issue I have is your definition of marriage. In the vows (if you take traditional ones) it says to love, honor, cherish and forsake all others. It doesn't specifically mention sex. People think it implies sex and that is fine if both people subscribe to that as part of the vows. Others though view forsaking all others as not falling in love with or having love emotions for others. That extra-marital sex is okay within their version of the vows. That is the rationalization that swingers and bisexual people make in their marriage. I am not going to debate whether they are right or wrong with anyone, but that is the reasoning that I take from it. I see it. I understand it. A big part of me agrees with it. That is up for all of us to decide for ourselves.

Answer 7

Okay, that is your definition of marriage and cheating.

Each couple in any marriage will define what they consider cheating. It is not up to Society to define or decide what is cheating or not. Everyone has their own opinion. Wither or not the rest of us agree with it is not important.

Answer 8

I am glad you got it off your chest.

Please do not get made when other answers ask the question if their spouse is cheating weather "bi" or not.

Just because you said what you had to say is fine, but that will not stop the wonderful people here on Yahoo Answers to keep asking questions, and to keep answering questions.

Answer 9

Cheating is cheating and there is no two ways about it so you live with it or you are going to rot in hell just like that if you are making love to another man being a man it is still cheating an vise versea. It is wrong and you are going to to hell.

Answer 10

Those are your definitions.

Cheating is (dictionary.com):
To deceive by trickery; swindle.
To deprive by trickery; defraud.
To mislead; fool.
To elude; escape.

Marriage is:
The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

My wife and I do have sex with other people, however we are both aware of it, both approve of it, and enjoy it. (she is bisexual and enjoys both) We are not cheating. If we were doing it behind the others back and hiding it, then we would be cheating.
As for the marriage, yes we are married. Yes, we love each other. Yes, it is legal. Yes, we are committed to each other. No, there are no religious ceremonies, as we are both atheists.

Both my wife and I are highly educated and very smart. We are not trashy. We have been married 7 years and together 12. We just happen to enjoy the pleasures of others. You live by your "rules", we will live by ours.

Answer 11

Ummmm, o.k.



The person above me is right......Technically if there are no rules created than there can be no cheating involved...and what if the rules created between the two people involve the intimacy of other people.

...if people are o.k. with there own sexual arrangements than let them be o.k. with it...it is really none of our business in the first place.