Why do women get offended when I say "I find Strong women very UNattractive"?

Question

IF I say weak women are not attractive.. people stand up and clap. If I say strong women are unattractive.. people boo, hiss, tell me I can't handle a "real" woman, etc.

Why?

I don't HAVE to like strong women and I can't help it if strong women turn me off.

Seems like women expect men to judge them by the same standards they judge men. When we don't, they take offense.

Can you explain why? Why does a womans perpective on things always have the be the "correct" one?

By "strong" I mean masculine in personality.. aggressive, confrontational, loud, arrogent.. etc.

So just because of feminsm I have to change what I am attracted to? Sorry... not gonna happen.

Answer 1

I would say that those who criticize you for your stated preference are reading into it. In saying the words, merely, that you find strong women unattractive, you are just stating your preference - no problem there. But I would suggest that those listening are hearing unspoken words of criticism and discrimination, as well as an underlying dislike for women who have succeeded in a competitive environment.

Bottom line - you can and should state your preferences. Those listening should wait for explanation before criticizing, if they must...

Answer 2

I totally know what you mean about this. I think when you hear the term "strong black woman", you immediately think of a bodybuilder or a woman who doesn't take no mess from anyone, like Foxy Brown/Pam Grier from those '70s blaxploitation flicks. It's more of a negative connotation. As far as physical strength goes, I'm not an athlete or anything like that, I'm an opera singer for crying out loud. I'm not heavyset or overweight either, I am a hard worker & I am determined but I am not looking to emasculate a man or appear overbearing or rude, all those connotations are associated w/ "strong black women" in my humble opinion. I'd suggest reading "Ain't I A Woman" by Sojourner Truth, that has lots of insight into where the whole "strong black woman" thing came from. Blessings.

Answer 3

Everyone is different in what they look for. The definition of strong is very subjective. Some women think a woman who doesnt have a career and tends to her family is selling herself short and just because a man likes that in a woman doesnt mean he wants a mate who is a subordinate. Some women have no problem saying they are turned off by a Mama's boy which to some people shows a sign of weakness.

If someone is happy with their life and who they are I dont care what they do, who is anyone else to tell them how to live their life or what their expectations should be.

And loud arrogant people annoy me regarless of sex.

Answer 4

I was wondering the same thing as Spuddy; whether you meant strong as in physical strength or more in terms of being independent and strong willed...

I can see where if you meant that you do not find the latter attractive you might get some people making some noise... In terms of physical strength and appearances... To each their own... I don't care for a woman with too much muscle on her either... Theres a fine line between being attractive in a toned and fit feminine way like tight abs and some muscle and being muscle bound and well... masculine. Too much muscle on women is probably going to be unattractive for most men...

I would hardly consider being confrontational, loud or arrogant to be "strong" characteristics. Those are weaknesses in either sex. The only one that you listed that might be seen as attractive in either gender would be aggression and only if you mean in terms of confidence and going for what they want and not physical violence...

Answer 5

The immediate, practical problem with your comment is that it is a "no-win" situation: either a woman has to think she is attractive to you because you see her as "weak," or she has to take offense that you see her as unattractive because she is strong or at least, sees herself as strong. If you are heterosexual and desire to have women in your life, this is the kind of statement that you should just plain drop.

No one appreciates being seen as weak. Likewise, no one likes being perceived as unattractive. Myself, I don't care for pushy, rude, aggressive people of either gender.

You might consider trying to appreciate and compliment each woman on her individual "strengths," because everyone, even the quietest people, has at least one strength or ability of note.

Answer 6

I guess it would matter what you mean by "strong." I'm usually up at 5:30AM, and got to bed about 10:30PM.

I live on a farm. I do a LOT of very hard physical labor. Most men cannot do the things I do. (sling around 100 pound bales for a few hours, or muck out barns, ect)

Yet I'm one of the quietest people your ever likely to meet. I'm very good at being invisible, and blending into the background, because that is what I prefer. I don't like to be the center of attention. I much prefer to observe, and learn.

I rarely yell, unless a draft horse is standing on my foot...then I curse like a sailor.

I'm very much into the "homecrafts" like cooking from scratch, making quilts, knitting lovely items, making soap, tending flower and vegtable garden, ect.

Yet I'm extremely independant, and capable of keeping the farm and the 100 plus animals tended and well fed, even in the dead of winter, when wer are having blizzards. Capable of doing this totally alone, when my husbands job takes him away for a month or more at a time.

So naturally people can take offence if they concider to you be putting down their personal version of what a "strong" woman is. Everyone conciders their own opinions to be correct, and the best ones. Unless yours match mine, you are a complete idiot...right? ~lol~

~Garnet
Homesteading/Farming over 20 years

Answer 7

I have no idea what you are talking about here, dear. Why should anyone care for what turns you on or not? It is your very personal business, and none of mine.

Now, if you do not like physically fit ladies, they might take offense. The reason for it might be in an amount of hard work it takes for them to look that way. They also expect for men to enjoy looking at them. So, your comments make them feel like they have wasted their time and efforts.

Now, if you are referring to mentally and emotionally powerful ladies, they usually do not give a hoot how you feel about them one way or another. They know exactly who they are, and your comments could never hurt them in any way.

I hope that was helpful in some way.

Answer 8

Most women probably get offended because they can't take it if someone doesnt agree with their standards of women's lib. Also, they are probably thinking that you mean by attraction, not thinking of the personality. There's nothing wrong with a strong woman but there is something wrong with a strong woman with a bad attitude. Most of them end up being b**ches because they're trying to prove how tough they are. Dont worry man...I understand!!!

Answer 9

Because your definition of "strong women" is different from others' definition of "strong women". And I'm pretty sure you are aware of that, and are just on here asking and saying that kind of thing to get a rise out of all the actual strong women on here.

Answer 10

Strong physically or emotionally? If it's physically, then I can just say that you're not attracted to big strong women. That's not a big deal.

If you like emotionally weak women, that just says a lot about your character.

Anyway, whatever floats your boat is your business.

update: I didn't see your additional details. You and I have different definitions of emotional strength. I don't link it to masculinity or femininity.

update: Mike, I guarantee you that none of the women on GWS is going to cry themselves to sleep about your preference.