From my previous questions I've told you guys that i'm getting divorced from my husband. The original reason we decided to file divorced was because I had a miscarriage, we were both upset and as well my brother has leukemia and was going through chemo and radiation when this happened and alot of all of that took its toll on our marriage.
Yesterday when he dropped by we ended up having sex and after that experience again I realized that I do still love him, and I want to try to make it work. So today when he came by for more of his stuff I sat him down and told him exactly what I've just told you all, that I want to try to make this work and start over, and the most upsetting part was all that he said was he said he still loves me, but doesnt know if he wants to try it again and that he might be moving back to California (we both live in Chicago now.) I just don't know if it's really is too late to apologize.
2007-11-27 07:21:41 · 12 answers · asked by Lucia F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is never too late to apologize. Also, Things might of just got tangled up in your emotions and the too of you mistook frustration with lack of love. This happens a lot of times. You might need to give him priority for he is your husband, he is your family, and a family is sacred.
I am very sorry about your brother, but don't let that take a toll in your family. I am pretty sure your brother will hate to see the two of you getting divorce.
Try your best to save your love and your marriage.
Don;t forget you family comes first. There is nothing you can do about your brother's condition, just pray and pray. God performs miacles.
2007-11-27 07:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see several issues going on here. My first suggestion is that you shouldn't make any major life decisions when you are having such stress and turmoil in your life like a miscarriage and your brother's illness. Often we make very poor decisions during these times. Decisions we later regret. At the very least, put the actual divorce on hold.
The second issue is that now that you and your husband have been intimate again, it gets very confusing. Make sure you aren't confusing needing physical contact and comfort and doing something that felt safe and familiar with love.
Take your time, move slowly, think things through and just try not make any really important decisions right now.
2007-11-27 07:34:05 · answer #2 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never been wrong on my gut feelings. They're just there. Its that sinking sick feeling..."oh no...." One time I had a boyfriend who lied to me and said he was going to visit family out of state for New Years Weekend. Well, I woke up at like 4:30 a.m. during that weekend and something to me to call a specific hotel and ask for his room. I have no clue how this happened. But I just listened to it and called. Guess what? He WAS here in that hotel and had a room there with another woman. How I knew? I don't know. I was sleeping. I think it was a gut feeling or some strange thing...but I busted his @ss and he never knew how I knew. So yeah...guts are always right. We just have to learn to listen to them. Trust them as much as we trust our own eyesight or our own hearing.
2016-04-06 00:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to apologize for. You did not do anything wrong. The miscarriage and your brother's leukemia are not your fault. Lowering yourself is not going to make him stay. If he wants to stay, then he would. It is a mutual decision to stay together. Don't beg. You have already done what you can do. You told him how you feel and what you want to do. Now, it's his turn. Love is not enough to uphold a marriage. It also takes the willingness to make it work. If he is not willing to make it work, there is nothing you can do. Let him go.
2007-11-27 07:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah that happens if put yourself there, available for intimacy...but well we are not gonna talk about that, you realized you love hime and want him back, so you did what you were supposed to do and its totally perfect, he didnt responde in the way you were hoping...you have nothing to do but feel good cause did what it felt right, give it time, time to heal, time for yourself...and maybe when his time to realized he stil loves you comes he will let you know believe me.
But men realized things in a very different way than us...set him free, forget about him (in a way) and next time dont be there for intimacy unless you are back as a couple.
Good luck...nothing its been written yet!
2007-11-27 07:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by aais 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I t's never to late to apologize but i think what happen had a different meaning for you and to him it was just sex. Guys are like that.
2007-11-27 07:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a perfect example of how different women and men feel about sex. It meant alot to you...stirred up all sorts of deep emotions, and made you realize how much you love this man....doesn't seem like it did the same to him and that sucks...oh to be able to have sex like a man...
2007-11-27 07:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by laura1977 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You've already apologized, and said your piece. He's not sure. If he wanted to try again, he would say, "let's try again" or "give me some time". He wouldn't say, "I'm moving 1,000 miles away."
2007-11-27 07:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is for life. You both vowed to stay with each other for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and to cheris until death do us part.
How much is your word worth?
2007-11-27 07:31:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if he doesn't want to try, there's not much u can do--he can still love u, but maybe doesnt think its gonna work out--maybe if he moves away and has time to think, he might reconsider for the future.
2007-11-27 07:28:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋