I'm a married bisexual and my husband accepts me for who I am. He knew this before we got married. I also have a long term partner (4.5 years) who's recently given me a ring. She said she accepts my circumstance and that I'm the only person she's ever loved this much and wants to stay committed to me. My husband has no problem with it and thinks it's sweet. He wants to throw a party for us. My husband is not involved with her in any way by the way other than through me by the way, just want to make that clear. I love her to death but part me thinks this is not fair to her since I only get to spend so many nights in a week with her. She's a very busy professional woman and right now this works for her, but I don't if this will be ideal in the long term. What should I do?
2007-11-27 06:55:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why did you get married in the first place?
2007-11-27 07:08:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley M 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are right to be concerned. You are already married and committed to your husband, so you cannot be committed to her. Eventually, they are both going to want more from you than you can give to them. You can't live your life as a divided person.
Decide who you want to spend your life with and devote yourself to that person. There is a reason why most relationships consist of two partners, its because anything more will eventually lead to conflicts. Being Bisexual doesn't get you some kind of loophole to the vows you made when you married.
I would advise you let this woman go and find someone who can give her what she needs and that you try monogamy for a while. You might be amazed at how much less complicated it is...
2007-11-27 15:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should keep the ring, you (probably) already have one. You are talking about commitment here. Your husband seems okay with your partner but what exactly will this other relationship mean? Will you have to schedule certain days or nights with one or the other? Sure, you work out great for her now, but what about her not-so-busy schedule in the future? I think having a friend, or friends, whether it's a woman or a man, is very important for married people. And I think you should keep this woman as a friend and nothing more...you can still do things and spend time together, without that "commitment" pressure. Good luck to you!!
2007-11-27 15:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anya 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a little too complicated and freaky for me but my best advise is that you are already married and you already have a long term commitment to your husband. I don't see how you can be in to committed, long term relationships at the same time. Some one is going to get left out and someones feelings are going to get hurt or become jealous. It always happens.
2007-11-27 15:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. Just because you are not together every night isn't a reason to turn it down.
My wife is also bisexual but she has never had a long term partner, only bi f*** buddies. I would be okay with it just like he is. Sorry this is not a simple answer that we can just say yes or no too (though I know many people will say you're sick and to not do it).
Good luck.
2007-11-27 15:17:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying " If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was meant to be. If it doesn't return, it wasn't meant to be".
You are a married woman, bisexual or not. I understand how you feel, but you have to understand, she is offering you a ring; a committment, and since your married, its not right to commit to her in a way that you never could be fully with her.
Even if your hubby is ok with it, there could be repercussions later that you can't forsee or prevent.
Tell her that you love her, but the ring is unnecessary. Leave things the way they are, and if she wants to be with you, then she'll understand and abide by your wishes.
2007-11-27 15:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by hotmama1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing other than consider yourself lucky for have found a guy without a backbone which is perfectly fine and serves the purpose of doing whatever you want. There is nothing wrong on you, or the other 2 (him/her), the only thing I feel sorry is about the guy, but is there because he wants, a real man doesn't deal with that kind of things, of course it's fine with him, but because he can't find anything better or he thinks he can't. Just do whatever you want, you are dealing with the right people to do whatever you want, a girl he appreciates you, and a guy without strength to do anything. The road is free and clear, press the gas, enjoy the ride.
2007-11-27 15:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although I don't understand your lifestyle, I can appreciate that you do have a dilemma. May I say that it's a fortunate person who has people who love them without reservations....and I'd say you are definitely one of those people!
I would keep the ring. She has given it to you with love and devotion, and if she's willing to share you with your husband, it would hurt her if you rejected her expression of her love for you. While your relationship with her may not last forever, right now it's real to you both.
Good luck!
2007-11-27 15:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are her reasons behind giving you the ring, cuz you already made a commitment to your husband, and that would demean the commitment you made to him by accepting another ring of commitment.
2007-11-27 16:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already have a long-term relationship with this woman. so take the ring. and your husband thinks its sweet?? well to each his own and I am betting that he has one of his own too on the side when you are spending your nights with her. you don't say how long you have been married.
2007-11-27 15:12:14 · answer #10 · answered by oldbeatlefan53 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Accept the ring as a token of her affection. As long as you are honest with each other, each of you can decide for yourself, and let the other person decide for themselves. You are honest about where you stand - and she is honest about where she stands. If it means a lot to her that you accept the ring, do it.
2007-11-27 15:02:02 · answer #11 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋