My husband works at night and I really miss him. We have been married for a year and well thats about how long he has been working night shift. I am very proud of him. He has done great he is now a supervisor in hi own department but I really really miss him. I dont see him much, he goes to work at 8 at night and comes home at 8 in the moring. and I work from 9 to 5 and go to college from 6-9 at night so i dont see him until the weekends, But i feel like am being selfish and i think about all those wives whos husbands are serving in the war and those who are truck drivers. I mean how do yall cope with them not being there for you. i really need some advise so that i can cope with him not being there even if it seems that am being a big baby because he is not over sees or in another city or something. Please honest and sencire answeres.
2007-11-27 06:42:44 · 27 answers · asked by chuchitos_mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife and I worked opposing shifts when we first started living together and it lasted through the first couple of years of marriage. Just be patient, don't let your feelings affect your husbands work and eventually it will get better. You will graduate, he might get promoted to a better shift.
Also, make the most of the time you do get to spend together.
2007-11-27 06:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Robert B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had the same dilemma.
Eventually, her man got tired of being away from her so much, and he found another job.
I don't think you're being selfish, but it IS a problem.
If he really loves his job, it makes it even harder for him to do something else. I'm sure he's very proud of his advancement. Maybe he can check into a daytime position with the same company?
Meantime, try to make the best of what time you do have together. It sounds like you love each other, so try to be strong and keep it together until you can do something different. I'm betting he'll get tired of it sooner or later, and it sounds to me like you're pretty busy yourself, with work, college & your studies on top of it all.
I would just make sure if you get lonesome or need someone to talk to, you call your mom or a close girlfriend. I know it's not the same as having your man home with you, but all thigs will pass, and this will, too!
Just think...some women would love to have more time to themselves! And yes, be thankful he's not in Iraq or on the road all the time...things could definitely be worse!
Good luck, and hang in there! Good things come to those who have patience!
2007-11-27 06:56:25 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This was so darn close to home. Brought many emotions up inside of me. I am a District Manager for a newspaper, so I basically works 14 hours a day, almost 7 days a week. My wife works 8-3. Seeing her is a challenge. I do, however see our newborn.
Again, it is a challenge to spend time, talk, anything with my wife. I have read some of these post and will take some suggestions. At times, it seems as though our relationship won't last, as many of my co-workers have failed.
This was a great question!!!!!
2007-11-27 07:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by m g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the thing. Enjoy the time that you do have together. When you do see him ask him how he copes with not seeing you. Maybe he feels the same way. It is hard to deal with not being able to see the one that you love all the time, but it all works out in the end. One day it isn't going to be the way it is not. If you have to Set up a time that you can call him and talk to him when you miss him. See if there is some way that you can write him a note and tell him that you miss him and love him. I don't think your being selfish, your still in love and he is still in love with you. Leading seperate lives during the week and loving eachother during the weekends is fine for now. Your not going to be going to college for the rest of your life.
Hang in there you will get thru it. I will pray for you and your husband. God Bless, and I hope you find the answer your looking for.
2007-11-27 06:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by kandie w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sincerely, you NEED to talk to him about a plan for either a) when he can transfer to the day shift (recognize that he gets a pay premium for the night shift and that will go away)
b) or if you want to switch to the night shift.
Put a timeline together. Knowing that this will end will help you get through it - it's only short term.
How long do you have with school before you graduate? When you graduate, will you have more time to see him? Can he talk to his boss about the opportunity to promote to day shift, or be put in the queue to take over the next opening as a manager on day shift? His supervisors need to know he wants that, they won't just give it to him, but obviously he is a valued employee. This will take communication between both of you, and a solid action plan for your careers and how you are going to get what you want by when.
2007-11-27 06:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I worked opposing shifts at one time as well. It doesn't last forever. Something you could do is work a few hours say maybe 8-12 five days a week, go to school in the afternoons, then you'd have evenings together.
OR, you can work night shift and go to school in the early evenings.
2007-11-27 06:55:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really have not had time to be newlyweds have you? Maybe a romantic dinner at home this weekend would butter him up before you tell him you miss him. You 2 need to find a happy medium somewhere. Weekends aren't enough especially if you are new to being married. Ask him over the dinner if he could think about transferring shifts to be around you more. If not, you will just have to be patient , he will grow tired of missing you. Good Luck!!
2007-11-27 06:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband, you are suppose to miss him! There is nothing wrong with that. It's not like your asking that he quit his job or anything like that, you just miss him and that is perfectly ok. That's what love entails. It would become a problem if you began not to miss him. Then I would worry.
2007-11-27 06:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is your job. You made that decision once you determined you are able to stay domicile & he could visit artwork. you don't like it? swap. i do not comprehend what your husband does for a residing yet I surely have consistently worked in a very annoying occupation. battling site visitors each morning & nighttime, having issues flow on the speed of light all day, phones ringing off the hook, clients yelling, experience demeaned on a fave foundation, somewhat getting a probability to get a bite of nutrition on your mouth, operating errands on your lunch hour instead of eating, paying $5/gallon for gas to target this BS throughout & back, having the rigidity of a spouse sitting at domicile who desires funds, paying each of the charges & wearing all of that on your shoulders & then you come domicile to someone who thinks you should make the mattress. truly? i'm able to juggling a million issues rapidly & i am going to sparkling my total position, practice dinner, and do each of the laundry by 10am so i am going to nonetheless watch football on Sundays. it truly isn't any longer that enormous of a deal to be a housewife. convey forth the thumbs down. It changed into your decision.
2016-10-25 03:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you are being very selfish.
My boyfriend works nights, and I don't get to see him except on weekends either, but we like it that way. I have no issue with him working nights because:
1. he's doing what he LIKES to do, and is very good at
2. it helps to pay the bills
3. it gives each of us our alone time
4. it makes the time we are together more valuable
Your college will be overwith soon so you'll be able to spend some time with him then.
2007-11-27 06:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋