Husband's old "buddies"?

Question

My husband used to be a drug user. He has been clean for 3 years and stayed away from his old "buddies". He has been doing very well and making a lot of good progress.

However, he has recently had run into one of these "buddies" and is going to be meeting up with him for lunch or something.

This "buddy" would stay clean, become tempted and then my husband and he would go and satisfy their addiction. His "buddy" ALWAYS got involved with drugs and my husband would follow. My husband is responsible for his own actions, but his “buddy” always makes it worse when my husband had been doing so well.

I have told my husband how I felt. I have told him that I disapprove of him hanging out even for a few minutes with this guy. He knows the consequences if he goes down that path. I told him that I will help him out as long as he’s helping himself. I told him that I feel that he is going to go back spiraling down again if he starts talking to this guy again.

My husband doesn’t see the harm of meeting up with this guy for a few minutes or what the problem is talking on the phone with him. I’m very frustrated and concerned. I know what I have to do if things get out of hand…even though it will be the hardest decision I have to make. What do I do to help him see? What can I do to help prevent this issue from escalating?

Answer 1

He knows the consequences if he falls off the wagon again. Just make sure you follow through with it and leave him...for good! Temptation will be much greater when he gets together with past drug users and he's willingly putting himself into that scenario. But if he can get through it without being tempted, then he is further along in his recovery than you thought. Maybe he just wants to test himself too. Give him a chance...he may surprise you...and then again...maybe he'll just disappoint you again.

Answer 2

As civilly as a threat clarify how substantial being mom is to you and which you will possibly in no way evaluate having the youngster call every person else DAD. supply to help them arise with another respectful ideas - i do no longer see a difficulty along with her first call, yet my babies are older. somebody reported to me "Smom" which i presumed replaced into lovable and that would artwork for a three 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous (it is not lots enormous distinction, yet there's a great distinction) My ex's new spouse "would not have faith in 'step'." (Oh GAG me!) They have been insisting that my females (6 and 12) call her mom and that i positioned my foot down (ok, I went a sprint ballistic, that's why i'm suggesting being well mannered). In some states this habit may be construed as interference with a parental courting. save on with your weapons. you're your youngster's purely mom -- it is severe high quality that we've a number of of people to love our babies -- yet your identify is limited. permit her discover her very own.

Answer 3

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. You went and you stop where there is a line that separates your life, and his. You did your job, you just explained your point of view, how you feel, what you think, and what you predict it's going to happen. The best part of everything, you already have a decision taken in case things get out of hands, which I think is where you need to focus now or in the actions that concern you. Let the other person be what the other person is, there is nothing you can do, other than wish him well, and most important, wish well for you and do what is right. I don't think you need help from any kind, and he can't be helped except by himself. Just focus on you, with who you want to be, I think you did a great thing on what you did, and not more than that which is excellent. That says you are responsible of yourself, at the time you start telling him what he has to do (instead of telling him how you feel), you try to control him and that indicates you are loosing control of you, you are completely out of focus. You are fine, as long as you can control yourself, and if you have to take the difficult and hard decision, go and take it right away, and stop wasting time of your life, there is no need to be with someone who destroy himself phisically and mentally intentionally, because that's a choice, not a problem. He goes with this guy by choice, not because is an obligation of any kind. Good luck, if he goes, I would get ready for the difficult decision, sooner or later things will start to happen, that's the starting point of the problem, if he doesn't, that's a good step of "I want to take care of myself, I have learned my lesson, I will just leave things there". Good luck.

Answer 4

I think you need to let your husband know up front what the consequences will be if he should fall off the wagon. I presume you would either kick him out or you would move out. Not something you want to do, but will need to do for self preservation.

If he knows where you stand and what the consequences are, yet still finds it necessary to visit with his buddy, then you need to get your affairs in order so that if the worst does happen, you can act quickly and decisively. In the end, it is his decision to make, but you need to be prepared for the worst.

Answer 5

You have every right to be concerned, I to was in a similar situation, and unfortunatley my husband got weak and broke his 2 year record of sobriety. One thing for a fact is that your hubby is doing exactley what he wants to do, he is aware that hanging with old friends and or places can jeopordize his sobriety, and this is what he wants, this is why it is very important for him to have a source of support, such as AA, Im a firm believer in AA and Ive seen the worst of the worst drunks find success in AA. I also believe that your husband will drink again its only a matter of time, right now he is a dry drunk who is going thru the motions of alcoholism only soberley, you can only do so much, it is up to him to make the choice of a life of sobriety or a life as a drunk?

Answer 6

You husbands "buddy" is not responsible for your husband being a user he and ONLY he can take the wrap for that.


If he can't stay clean it's because he's not ready to.

Answer 7

your husband is wanting to score. threaten him again. in the back of his brain he is hoping to hookup. why does he want to see this buddy.i was never that good of buddies with the people you did drugs with. why don't you go with him for this lunch. if he doesn't want you to go, you have your answer.

Answer 8

Tell your husband that if he really needs to see his buddy, that your going with him.

Answer 9

He needs to look @ what he would lose if he hang around this friend & stand by your reasons.

Answer 10

maybe satisfy his addictions at home and he won't need to go out with his buddies. There are other kinds of "drugs" out there that aren't necessarily chemicals.