Her husband makes her feel bad about her weight?

Question

I have a friend who's husband has been making her feel bad about her weight. They were just married 8 months ago. In their whole relationship she has fluctuated in her weight at the most 15 pounds. So she hasn't been up or down real far. She used to wear size 8 jeans and now she wears a 12. This is not the first time he has made a comment one time he made a comment to her that she should start to use her treadmill and the other day he told her that she needed to wear a longer shirt because when she stands up her fat falls out. he make other comments like "you should eat a salad" or "you can still walk in the winter" small things but enough to make my friend feel bad. she has fertility problems and has been going through hormone treatments so she already feels bad about herself. what do you think she should do? oh also he is NOT a skinny man and has a few things he can fix himself.

Answer 1

Sorry, but obesity is NOT atractive. If she has become a porker since she got married, then her husband has a reason to complaint.

You have to keep your self healthy and atractive for your spouse... and eating yourself to become grosely obese will not make her newlywed life any easier.

Her husband is right, she needs to eat salad and exercise.

Good luck

Answer 2

Well, I must say that he shouldn't be hypocritical and he should understand that she is going through a rough patch in her life with her fertility issues.
However, I think some of the things he says to her are appropriate. Such as a mere suggestion to start using the treadmill and about the shirt thing because I tell my sister that all the time when she is wearing too small of shirts. She appreciates my help because she doesn't want to make a fool herself. The important thing is that if he wants her to lose weight he should be suggestive and nice about it and work with her so they can lose weight together. For instance, rather then saying she needs to eat a salad he should say, "we should eat a salad."

Answer 3

I have a buddy who got married 8 months ago and his wife has already gone from a size 8 to a 12. He's worried about her health as they are trying to get pregnant, plus he knows if she does get pregnant the added weight going into the pregnancy will be that much harder to take off once the baby is born. He is actually worried that she doesn't care about her appearance anymore, and that if in just 8 months she's gained that much weight, what will the future bring?

He's brought some things to her attention, by mentioning that she should use the treadmill more, or to eat salads. She refuses and continues to binge and gorge herself. Apparently she doesn't care about his advice or her body. He is really concerned.


Side note: See how that same story can be told from a different perspective? Should she still divorce him?

Answer 4

I dated someone (ok it's a shock but hey ;-) ) and I knew her when she was slim..

her previous boyfriend said she was a bad kisser / fat etc. and made her feel low

she showed me a pic of her before she lost the weight.. i was .. sooo i'd still date u if you were that size..

she had issues with other things,so i didn't see her long, but well yer knocking someone like won't help their self esteem , trying to do something helpful / constructive is a better idea..

size 12 in the uk is the average size for a woman.. so it's funny and just shows he doesn't know a lot..
(even I know that and i'm male)

or just use the come back, if you were better in the bedroom i might actually get some excercise... although that isn't constructive.. it'll shut him up..

Answer 5

I had this problem with my now EX husband. He would embarass me in front of friends by saying 'you don't need that dessert' although everyone else was having something. And I was a size 8 at that time. I pulled him aside and asked him to never do that again. I asked him if he would ever leave me if I gained weight and he said Yes he would... in a heartbeat. Very conditional. If I were your friend, I would ask him why he focuses so much on her weight and does he love her less as a result of the fluctuation.

Answer 6

What you are describing is verbal abuse and obviously this girls husband has no consideration for her feelings. Fertility treatments often result in weight gain and she should take him with her to the next OB/GYN appointment and let the doctor tell him that. She should also remind him that someone who really loves you , would not make hurtful comments just as she has not brought up his imperfections. If he doesn't knock it off immediately, I would give serious thought as to whether I wanted to have a child with this man. Pregnancy will undoubtedly cause weight gain and some of it is never going to snap back like she was. So maybe this fertility problem is just providence showing you that this is not the right man for you.

Answer 7

First, she should do what is right for herself...meaning losing the weight will help with the fertility issue, same as eating right, and exercise. Likelihood is even if she loses the weight he'll find something else to pick at her about. I was in the exact same position and went through the exact same fertility treatment. THANK GOD, I never conceived with that man. I did lose the weight and got into great shape and he did find something else to pick at me about. I left him and got knocked up. She should consider whether she really wants to raise a child with a person who is so superficial. Consider what he may do to the child...should a child be brought into a life with a parent who knowingly would put them down for their flaws?

Answer 8

A size 12 is the New size 8 - just for starters. And if her husband is stressing her out, those fertility treatments aren't going to work. And does she really WANT to have a child w/ a man who thinks her weight is such a high priority?! What happens if she Does get pregnant, and Does actually GAIN some real weight. Is he going to insult her during her entire pregnancy?? Sounds like she picked the wrong one to say "I Do" to !!! Poor thang' !! She needs to throw some of those insults back at him. Like, "well you can walk too!" or "why don't you have a salad instead?!!"..things like that. If he can dish it out, he better be able to take it. You need to be there for your friend, it sounds like she' s going to reall y need you around for support !!! Good Luck !!!

Answer 9

It sounds like he does not love her unconditionaly. What a shame that she married this man. Chances are she has gained weight during hormonal treatments for the infertility problems she is having. If he cant see that she put on a few pounds while trying to make he body healthy enough to have HIS child... then she should not be with this man. This sort of treatment is the beginings of abuse. It starts small with verbal asults and can grow into physical assult. Your friend really should get out of this relationship and find herself a man that loves and respects her for who she is... not what she looks like. She deserves this... as a human being its her right. Send her my love.

Answer 10

she needs to leave cause well he is goin to keep doin it. The weight will always be an issue. He just sounds like a horrible guy period and i dont think she should of married him. And a size 8 or 12 or whatever is not fat. And even if she was fat or 200 lbs who cares. He shouldnt care if he didnt like it he shouldnt of married her then u know.

Answer 11

He can better look at him self, that he do some exercice that egoist, does he walks, does he eat salads?!
That fertility problem can also be his fault or to the stress he gives her, she can better think twice to have children by him.
She has to stand up for her self and give a piece of her healty mind and do it in public, she can now make a fool of him.
With such man anorexic starts and more problems, wish her good luck and courage with such selfish man.