Elderly parents should be caredfor by their families and not live alone or in a nursing home!Agree or DIsagree

Question

and why?

Answer 1

Well I guess every case would be different. Do you want some abusive children in charge of caring for their parents if they see it as a burden.
You live in a small box to lump this all together.

I would gladly care for mine as long as I could give them the attention they deserve. My mother cared for hers as long as she could but it simply became medically necessary to put her father in a home, she felt horrible guilt and people like you need to wake up to the fact that it is not always possible

Answer 2

I think a person should live independently as long as possible. When that's not possible, then an assisted living residence would work quite well.

If the time ever comes where a person requires 24 hour care,then a nursing home will certainly serve the person better than people who don'thave the knowledge or skill for it.

I believe that it's important that family live either in the general vicinity (Same state, county, etc) and should keep in touch on a regular basis. Rarely does an older person suffer from lonliness if there is family around and if that elder is pleasant to be around.

Having a parent in the home who needs special care, special diet, lots of medical care or who has severe health problems isn't good for the parent or the family. If a person goes to an assisted living facility, it should be in the same area where visiting is easy and outings with the family are a possibility.

If a parent needs 24 hour care, a nursing home is better for that parent with 24 hour nurses and doctors on call. An extremely ill parent can drain the resources and energy of a family. If the parent is in a nursing home, regular and unannounced visits should be made frequently.

I'm not advocating parking grandma somewhere to keep her out of your hair. I'm simply saying that it is better for the older parent AND the growing family if arrangements can be made that is satisfactory for all.

Most times, an older person doesn't WANT to live with family.

Of course, some families have the money to have full-time homecare by a registered professional. That's another story altogether.

I wouldn't want to live with my son or daughter. Worrying about "mom" would suck the life out of them. Better I am in a place where I am either independent or being cared for by people who know what they are doing and my kids can visit me.

Answer 3

I agree conditionally. Some people are too difficult to care for at home. It depends on their needs and the people in the household's capacity to provide that care. I think it would be much worse for the parent to be resented and subtlety abused because of it.
Then it would be best to work very regular visits to a nursing home into your life.
Just remember the same way kids don't really appreciate what you do; you must do it for love, alone; the same is often true of the elderly. Your love for them may be the only reward you receive, if they were good parents, then they have already given you all the reward you'll hopefully need.

Answer 4

When able to be cared for at home, yes, they should be cared for by their families. There are circumstances where the person is better off in long-term care, like in the case of an abusive or neglectful family, or if the person needs round the clock care that the family is just not able to provide.
It's a totally individual situation, and I have seen far too many capable elderly just dumped at the nursing home because the kids didn't want to be bothered with them anymore. It is a truly sad situation when you have someone who is fully aware of their surroundings, and nobody ever comes to visit. At the other end of the spectrum you have families who bend over backwards for their loved one, making sure that their clothes are clean and neat, they have everything they need, they visit several times a week, and make their presence known.
When an elderly person gets to the point where it is no longer safe for them to live alone, the children should take in that parent or at least consider assisted living.
I personally don't think that I could ever put my mother in a nursing home, but I don't yet know what the circumstances will be when she gets to that point.

Answer 5

I agree.....

I do not want any of my parents to be put into a nursing home. They do not get proper care and are often left thinking they have been abandoned and forgotten and then they just give up and are waiting to die. As far as living on ones own. Some seniors can handle it and they have several services for seniors that live on thier own such as meals on wheels and some visiting/sitter services. but the are not foolproof. Example: My grandmother. She was 78, lost my grandfather about a year and a half ago. Lived alone with family on the same property. 2 weeks ago( not even 2 weeks), she came home from the grocery store. Going up the stairs, fell, hit her head and it killed her . If someone would have been there, they may have gotten her medical attention and it very well may have saved her life, but instead b/c she lived alone, she laid there for 2.5 Hours before anyone found her.

Answer 6

I do believe that is the tradition in China. The parents here in America used to stay with the family instead of being shipped off to a nursing home . When I was a kid there was always an elder or two at everyones house. We really should get back to that.

Answer 7

there is no easy answer,each situation is different,some have the excuse they are too busy to care for there relative,busy working i can understand as we all have the bills to pay.but some have busy lives because there children ( or they) are into sports etc and the parent is running around after them.trying to fit it all in to their day. they have hectic lives but its all self oriented.give back to your parent the time that they gave you when you where a child.take care of them in their old age.medical reasons can make this impossible.so again i say its a hard call to make. I have heard of some abusive things happening in care homes.However there are a lot of very good ones.you just need to source them out.ask around.
the thing i find sad are there are parents who are abused at home in the care of there relative and there are those who are in care homes and the relative neglects to visit.
if you have an elderly parent in care they need regular visits from family members,not just once or twice a week,but make suprise visits and where possible take them out for a ride or to your home. make sure they still feel a part of the family.then a care home can be just that (a home) .

Answer 8

This isn't really an "agree" or "disagree" question but rather you need to take into consideration each families unique situation and the family members themselves.

Perhaps the family members wouldn't be able to provide as good of care as a trained staff in a nursing home could. There are good families out there that have no other choice than to put their loved one in a nursing home, as it would be selfish to keep them home and not being able to give them what they need.

My grandfather had to go in a nursing home, but by NO means was he "alone" - he had visitors all of the time, and it was no longer a choice for any of us, but an inevitable outcome. My grandma, by herself, could not take care of him any longer. He needed constant 24/7 care that she could not provide.

It's not always an easy option as far as keeping someone at home and providing the best care you can vs. taking them to a nursing home with a trained and professional staff. Sometimes it's the only option.

Answer 9

It depends on the situation. If an elderly person does not require specialized care or can afford to hire a professional to give them specialized care in the home, then I agree that home is the best place for that person. If the elderly person requires care that a family cannot provide due to being at work or not having the skills, then a nursing home is a more safe, appropriate place for that elderly person. No one should be kept at home where he or she will not receive adequate care due to some misguided notion of loyalty.

Answer 10

I care for my mother who has Alzheimer's disease. My Dad, who is 83, is with her during the day when I am at work. I am single, so I moved in with them, so I can give Dad a rest and help out. She thinks nursing homes are places to go crazy and die, so we never discuss the topic with her. However, the day will come when we can no longer provide what she will need. The local council on aging has been fantastic, providing all sorts of ways we can get extra help and opportunities for her to go out. Unfortunately, she won't go anywhere without Dad. I worked in a nursing home many years ago and it was a great place. I had lots of fun with the residents and it wouldn't have bothered me at all to think that I'd be there one day. I hope my children would want me to be with them when I'm old, but I don't want to be a complete burden on them.

Answer 11

I agree. I worked in a Nursing Home and so have my daughters. My brothers also put my mother into one, and the care was awful. We had her removed to a Cancer ward at a local hospital. It was so much better. She was only in for a total of 3 1/2 weeks, but it was awful for her. You people have no idea what goes on there unless you do as we did and take turns staying with your parent or parents or have worked in one. Never leave your parents with cash or credit cards either. I had my last $4 stolen when I stepped out so they could give my mother a bed bath. The workers even steal from each other. Hospitals aren't bad like that. You still want to be careful though. Mom even came up with a lot of her clothes missing as well.