me and my husband have unsolved issues over his pearant's and their medling in our marriage , my husband always take their side and we fight over this, one day after a long argument and fight he threatend he will hurt me < i called the police , and he was so upset because I called the police , and at the same night when he came back from work we continued the fight and i threatned him if he does not leave the house. he left the house and called the police from outside and told them my wife is threatining me , what do u think about his behaviour , and does he hate me by doing thid , should I stay or leave him ???
2007-11-27 05:20:06 · 17 answers · asked by sunshine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you both sound like a typical married couple to me. welcome to the playground
2007-11-27 05:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by irish_jimmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In 20 years you'll laugh about it!!! This is just a few years out of 100, so relax and gather your composure. In-laws getting into your business is an age old blessing. Thank them for being there and tell them even though they make you mad that you love and appreciate them being there for your husband. Try to be sincere and hold back any sarcasm. It is difficult for a person to be raised by somebody and then just ignore them. Some guys never leave their parents but most will start becoming more independent in their late twenties and early thirties.
I don't know if you were really in danger of violence from your husband, but you probably know. Some men don't get things going their way and they resort to violence to try and regain control. If that is the case he has to get a handle on his control issues and your not the one to tell him about it. Once the police are called he probably feels like you really deserted him or circumvented his authority, depending on what type of person he his. If you were not really in danger this was probably the biggest mistake you could of made. If you were in danger then you did what you had to. Now that he has called them on you too then maybe he feels even.. who knows.. You and he should sit down and talk about this ordeal and label it as a stupid move on both of your parts and don't blame each other. It is not easy to do but don't keep score in a marriage. Everything that happened yesterday is gone and there is only tomorrow. If you both grow up in the mean time then it can only get better. It is too bad that people can't start out life old and wise in the mind and young in the body. Not that all old people are wise and have all the answers, but experience and miles helps one appreciate the few good things that are in life, and overlook the stupid immature part that is in all of us. Well I didn't really say much to help your situation but I feel better so thanks...
2007-11-27 14:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by James Q 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you 5 grow up. First of all you must tell him that his parents have no right to interfere in your marriage and that is what has been upsetting you. Apologize to him that you called the cops on him but the reason you did was that he scared you and you didn't know what else to do. I think you must explain to nim that he is your husband and that you are more important then his parents and that when they stick their noses where they do not belong you have the right to be pissed off. Tell him either he starts to side with you and tell his parents to back-off and leave both of you alone and to stay out of your marriage or you see no other course of action then divorce.
Really I gave up family members because they were a conflict in my marriage. Sometimes it is necessary to put up a barrier to protect yourselves and your marriage.
Really you both need to grow up and take some responsiblity for your actions you need to be understanding to his problem of not being able to tell his parents off and he has to be understanding to you having a problem with this.
Your married and his parents are also now your parents as in-laws. This is common with most couples that in-laws can meddle in your life and drive you nuts.
Time to tell your husband that you need to end communication with his parents until you can resolve issues between the two of you. Build your relationship stronger so when you do talk to them again that you as a couple can work through it.
Really though your husband must tell his parents to back-off until further notice from him. Remember to tell him that he is the one requesting this that you are not to be bought into it at all so they will not have you to blame for anything.
2007-11-27 13:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would both need to work things out, but it seems that you both like to call the police too much. He threatened you, you called the police. You threatened him, he called the police. What do we think about HIS behavior? You did the same thing and don't seem to have a problem with that. Why is it different for him?
You have to understand that even though it's not right for his parents to intefere with your marriage, he's going to have some loyalty to them. It's not about picking sides--it's about the fact that that's his family. You need to find a way to deal with it (even if it means not going around them too often) until they stop meddling.
2007-11-27 13:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a woman whose husband called the police everytime they got into an argument and told them that she had threatened him. The police got so sick of it that they took his side and made her move out......I rented a room from them when I was in college - this was years ago....so I saw what happened....she got totally screwed....all she was ever allowed to take was her clothes. Really bad...be careful.
2007-11-27 13:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i called the police on my wife before for going nuts with a kitchen knife.
leave him or else you will precipitate your own disaster. you should just change your locks and give him the boot. If you live in cold winter climates, be sure to give him a sweater too.
2007-11-27 13:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by Dr S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both have some growing up to do, and you both need to try and work things out, instead of calling the police. u would be amazed at what talking can do.
2007-11-27 17:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude why r u starting drama thats why he is on his parents side because u are yelling and calling the cops and scaring him off seroiulsy thats why they proubally don't like u for some drama issues with u and there son.... talk professionally and if he stats yelling and threating u be like do u love me and if u do is it well worth it to yell and threaten me? and jeze alpozie for calling the cops!
2007-11-27 13:26:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get away from each other. If you haven't heard, marriage is supposed to involve love, not the police.
Although, nothing says "love" like a restraining order!
2007-11-27 13:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YIKES!
You two have some serious issues. You don't have much of a marriage. What's holding up the divorce? Don't say love, because they is none in your marriage.
2007-11-27 13:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by ★Banäna . Nightmärẹ★™ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hunny, sounds normal you hurt him he in turn hurt you, my thought is counseling, but unless the apron strings are cut your going to have problems..
2007-11-27 13:37:01 · answer #11 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋