My husband is looking to me for my opinion on our situation and I don't know what to do. He is debating whether or not to get out of the Navy as his contract will be ending soon. He wants to be home I want him home....but we are in debt...and his thinking is that if he stays then we will be able to get out of debt sooner, I know that would probably be the financially smarter move but he loves being a sailor...I don't want to take that away from him but we have already been apart for so long and we now have two children and I want them to know their dad. They are 3 years old and 6 months...what would you do? I know I want him home and he wants to be home I just don't want to seem like to his family that I am keeping him from the Navy they want him to say in.
2007-11-27 04:44:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are like 30000 in debt its not terrible but I do work full time and have my degree.
2007-11-27 05:02:24 · update #1
What is his rating?
Usually you can get the same type of job as a civilian for better pay. Have him do some job searches and go on some interviews to get a feel for what he might be making "on the outside".
If he has the GI Bill, he could actually make a second income by going to school. It pays over 1300 for every month that hes going full time. Tuition at a community college is relatively cheap (mine is about 900.00 for the entire 4 month term - It gives me 5000 and I give the school 900).
If his copntract is almost up, he has an opportunity to bargain with the detailer. He could ask to be a recruiter or RDC or something that will be on shore. He may be able to get a bonus for reenlisting.
2007-11-27 04:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by pumpkin head 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if he comes home then he could work during the day and maybe you could take a part time job somewhere at night to help out. It's a hard decision, but if you both want to be together, then keep him home so the children can get to know their dad. Good luck with what you decide.
2007-11-27 12:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to carefully and throughally research the civilian job market for equivalant jobs before you make a decision. Both sides has its advantages and disadvantages. Who cares who the families think. This about you, your husband and the kids.
However if he loves being a sailor you dont want to take that away either.
So you need to put togather a list of the advatages and disadvantages of both lifestyles and sit down and talk between the two of you.
Best of luck
2007-11-27 12:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by Bob D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you didn't really give us enough financial information in order to give you sound advice. For example, will he be making more or less money if he gets out of the Navy? From your description, it sounds like he'd be making less.
You gave 2 options but I believe there is a 3rd that you're overlooking. My husband was in the Army and got out because of a shoulder injury. He's not a contractor and makes more than DOUBLE his salary while he was in the military plus he isn't over in Iraq so we can live a normal life. If you want to wipe out your debt REALLY fast, then he can get out of the Navy then apply for the many contracting jobs in Iraq. I realize it's not ideal for him to be going over there but at least it would be under HIS rules, his timing, for however long HE wanted to go. He wouldn't be at the mercy of someone ELSE making all the decisions for him. Plus, contractors going to Iraq normally make six figures....yes, you saw that correctly. My husband works with a guy who is going over in a month and he just signed a contract to make $250,000 for 1 year's worth of work. So, when military guys get out, there's really big money-making potential if they WANT to go to Iraq. Obviously it's a very personal decision and personal safety is always a concern. The jobs my husband has considered in Iraq would be BASE ONLY jobs which means he would fly into the base, stay there, work, and never leave the base then fly home. He'd never have to be outside of the safety of the base while still making over $100,000. Many guys have chosen to do these contracts for 3-5 years so they can make tons of money then just retire and never have to work again. You and I can't do that obviously because we'd actually like to SEE our husbands over the next 3-5 years!! :) It's mainly single soldiers that do that. But like I said...it's a good option because let's face it...if he were to stay in, he'd most likely get sent to Iraq anyway so why not GET OUT and actually make a whole lot more money to do the exact same job?
2007-11-27 12:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with what your heart tells you. it takes a strong woman to be a military wife and i know from personal experience it gets hard but you have children. would you rather them see their dad and you struggle and loose things or would you rather him keep in great contact like phone calls and letters and you have the money to pay bills and keep your home. not sure how bad the financial situation is but times are hard for everyone in this country and its not getting better any time soon. think of your family and what is best for you all as a whole.
2007-11-27 12:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by Evelyne L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're all in DEBT!!!! YOu, me and the rest of America!!! Family is important. The kids need a father figure and you need to spend time with your husband. I'm sure he can find a good paying job like the rest of us.
What do you value more? Money or your family? I don't know about you, but I'd rather be poor and have my family THAN to be rich and be without the people I love. good luck
2007-11-27 12:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him stay in the Navy. And god love him for it. You need to work on getting your education. So when he comes out, you'll be able to support the family while he adjusts to being outta the Navy. I hope he's in the nuclear field, as he can work at any nuclear power plant. He needs to start looking for a job long before he gets out, trust me.
Hope this helps
2007-11-27 12:52:23 · answer #7 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say let the debt stay right where it is. Let NOTHNING stand in your way esp something as petty as "money issues". He must love his family more, since he wants to get out to be with y'all. There are plenty of high paying jobs he can jump into now that he has that on his resume. Tell him to rush home, figure out the bills later enjoy your family, before it is to late.
2007-11-27 12:53:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are and him need to talk about it it is a fun carrer but he needs to understand that you need to be with him my sister was in the navy and she told me that you can go live on base with him ask him to investigate this and if not it is going to be a sacfrace but it is alot better to be together who cares file bankruptcy if you can not pay the bills something talk to people like creditors that can help you get rid of these bills. Just try something it does not hurt to try. Good Luck.
2007-11-27 12:54:35 · answer #9 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a choice that only he can make really. But if he chooses to stay in, please give him 100% of your support. I come from a long line of career military men and know that it is a sacrifice for the families in some ways, but in ways it gives us pride in knowing that our men are keeping their honour.
2007-11-27 12:58:57 · answer #10 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋