Family crisis?

Question

My sister has alot of healt problems and everytime she goes into the hospital I end up with her 3 kids.I wouldn't mind keeping them but her oldest is mean to my little girl. And her health problems are because of her weight,so I have a hard time feeling sorry for her. Also she has 3 children under 3 and I think this is verrry irrisponsible of her. Is it wrong of me to be so hard on her and to not really want to watch her children all the time?

I would never be mean to the kids I love them!! I just don't want to end up watching them for days.

The father is at the hospital waiting for my sister to get out of surgery. I don't understand why he couldn't take at least one of the kids with him.

BTW when I say weight problem she whighs about 400 lbs.

whining hmmmmm not really just getting some insight. I do have control in my home I just don't think my sisters children should be my responsibility I have 2 children of my own.

OK chaos I'll give you that but I raised my sister when she was a child she moved in with me and I took care of her.I thought I did a better job.I have been raising children since I was 16 and I didn't have any of my own until I was 23.I think I have been a great sister and mother to my sister and her children.When is it someones elses turn to raise children so that I can enjoy mine? I dropped out of school,and got a job to support her and my other sister.and had to finish my education on my own. I will never turn her away because I love her like she was my own child but I think it is her turn to be a parent now.And I believe you can't take care of your children if you don't take care of yourself.And I have told her all of this.

Answer 1

No not at all. Its her fault in the first place. If she lost weight chances are you wouldnt be the one stuck babysitting when you have your own children. Do you have anyone else that can watch them? Another sister? Brother? Anything?

Answer 2

Where is the father of the children? Why isn't he stepping up to help?

But as to the children, from what I read the oldest is 3 and is probably confused and scared out of her mind due to the constant upheavals. Your sister needs to help her understand that these are temporary stays and that she is working on getting better, then she needs to focus on what is needed to do just that!

In the meantime, try to have some patience but keep very firm guidelines for behavior of the children when they are with you.

Answer 3

look sit down when everyone is better (not in the mid of surgery) and tell them you will take the three little ones, but daddy has to take th oldest

if they are jerks about it, be a jerk back, remind them you don't mind helping and you do it quite a bit, but you're not a bottomless pit

If the hubby is decent, he'll agree and if not, let them face tough love
Really, don't they have the money for an emergency babysitter for some of the times, when it gets excessive?

So you mean weight not due to thyroid problem but because she eats liek a cow and doesn't exericse?
Yes, you're right to feel the way you do. I mean if I decided to get addicted to coke and couldn't take care of my kid, because of constant nervous breakdowns (because coke would make my anxeity attacks off the wall), do I expect you to constantly babysit for years and years at my constant whim?

If you let me, I'll walk over you. You try to take these favors I've taken for granted away, I'll give you attitude..but in the end, I'm decent enough to learn to appreciate you and not take rediculous advantage of you in the future..but you might have to spell out where that line is and be firm

Answer 4

Well it isn't nice. But it isn't wrong for you to feel unhappy about it. Weight in many cases is something that you can control if you try. Also if I were to take them into my house then I would treat them like my own children. which means that anytime her oldest was mean to any of the children then she would be disciplined. It is your house, your time and your money. So it should be your rules. BTW where is her husband or the children's father? Can he not take care of them? Or are health problems so life threatening that he won't leave her side.

I understand her weight problems. 3 children under three can sure pack the pounds on a person. But she really should put her children first and lose the weight that could take her to her grave and leave her children without a mom.

So like I said I would treat the children like your own. That means YOUR rules. And if they don't like it then she can lose some weight so that they won't have to rely on you.

Answer 5

I don't think that you are wrong for sharing your concerns about your sister. But you should have some compassion for her as her sister. Where is the father in the picture? I know it can be hard watching all of those kids without help. Bottom line right now your sister needs you. You should try to be there for her as much as possible. God bless

Answer 6

Then tell her or she get her act together and get on a diet or you are not going to watch her kids anymore just like that it is not your responsability and if she ends up having to go to the hospitol one more time you are going to have to call cps to have her kids get help I know this is mean but she should not bring children into this world if she not going to be able to take care of them and provide for them.

Answer 7

I do thing you are being harsh I'm sure your sister has tried to loose weight before and after three kids rite in a row that probably made things worst maybe she was trying to have them because of her condition. Because this has something to do with her heart and is serious yes you are harsh.

Answer 8

I can sure understand your frustrations with the situation concerning your sister....but the children are the innocent ones...Take care of them for them...not so much for your sister....

Also...I do agree..that your sister's children shouldn't be your entire responsibility all the time....You have your own family to worry about....That is heavy burden to be put upon you....

Answer 9

Your mother should be supportive to her brother, but remain neutral. Talk to your mom and be there for her. She could probably use some positive vibes around her right about now. Your mom should be very careful , often the outsider can become the enemy in husband and wife upsets if and when this problem become resolved with your aunt and uncle.

Answer 10

Not at all. Her kids are her responsibilities, not yours. However, I understand you want to help her. That is very big of you. If you want to help her, and you should, she is after all your sister. Here is what you do. When her kids come over, treat them like your kids. That mean you will have to discipline them as well. Your house, your rules. Since they are with you often, they will need to learn to get along with your kids. Be gentle and firm with them. Make them listen. Tell them talking back is not an option. If they don't, put them in time out but don't spank them. Soon they will learn if they want to enjoy their stay with you, they will need to behave and that is just the way it is going to be. Still praise them when they do behave and shower them with hugs and kisses. You will be able to build very strong bond with those 3 kids. One day, you will enjoy them as much as your kids once they grow up.

Answer 11

My dear...
Be kind to your sister..
I agree that she must take care of her weight but i am certain that she doesnt like getting sick.....and leaving her children with u...

Apart from the fact that She is your sister... doesnt mean u can pass comments on her..Or judge how many and when she should have children.. Atleast family should stick together..

And her kid being mean to yours......Mam YOU should have enuff control in your house that none of the children are mean to each other....

Im an aunt and my niece listens more to me rather than her own mum...
Its all bout how u take care of the situation. not blow it up....

Quit Whining




my dear..
if u wont help ur sister wen she needs u... who will??
in our country an aunt is called "masi" meaning "like mother"...
im not telling u to be their mother.. but just be like der mother...
ok ill agree with u for a few moments and say its entirly your sisters fault...but is it your niece and nephews fault as well..??? just think about it dear... after all they are still kids...