We have been apart for almost 5 years. He has remarried and all I can think about is the life he has with his new wife. She is beautiful, makes good money, they live in a house that is my dream house.....everything I do to try to get him back - backfires on me...I want him back so badly....I had an affair while I was married to him. How do I get him to come home to me and our children.
2007-11-27 04:23:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to him and explain how you feel. If you don't you will live for the rest of your life thinking why didn't i try at least. If he loves you he will come to you, if he doesn't, then it is time for you to move on and find a new love in your life
2007-11-27 04:31:41 · answer #1 · answered by James S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your pain. I am going through the same thing since ex fiance who went with someone else two months ago (but NOT the trying to get him back part). But if you think about it, if you had an affair outside the marriage, you really did not love him. Possibly you are just jealous that he appears to have the life you want. Or maybe you just want to prove to yourself that you can get him back or take him away from her because your self esteem is low. The fact is, even if there were the slightest chance he would come back, you would not get over what has already occurred. Take the holidays day by day. This season is the hardest time to deal with loss but it will improve after the festivities are over. Also, get yourself into counseling to deal with all this. Five years is a long time to put your life aside living in the past.
2007-11-27 05:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've read all the answers here and it's not hard to understand why most of them are telling you to move on. They're right. I would like to add, however, that two wrongs do not make a right. I know we're all human and who knows what caused you to make one of the biggest mistakes married people make. They say pain is a signal to grow, not to suffer. Honey, you need to take this pain you feel and refocus your energy on growing. Become a better person from this and you'll find another man who will make you happy too!
In the meantime, the two wrongs part of this issue is that he is a married man. You had your chance once and when you messed up, he moved on. He hasn't done anything wrong and neither has the woman he's married to. If you keep playing with this issue, and he should make the same mistake you made, now you've just hurt another person. Is that really who you want to be? Don't be responsible for breaking up another marriage. One was enough.
I know it hurts and the holidays are the toughest. Back off, be the mother of your children and take care of them for now. Work on being the kind of wife you want to be and you will find a good man who wants that. Let it go. It's the right thing to do and when you feel bad, remind yourself of that. That might help you forgive your transgressions.
Good luck to you and take care....
2007-11-27 04:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. But you are the one that betrayed your vows. He has moved on and found happiness elsewhere. And you are jealous of that. I suggest you do the same. There is no way you can break up a happy marriage. Even if you were once married and have children together. Just be thankful you have your kids, and try to get through the holidays with the mindset of being happy with what you have and not stressing over what you havn't got. i am sure you will someday find someone to make you happy. But remember what you did in the past and try not to make the same mistake.
2007-11-27 04:31:46 · answer #4 · answered by peyton31602 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's married!!! Move on..Don't look back...Don't waste an ounce of your time, energy or air on the OLD..
There are guys out there that will start fresh with you..
Don't let the holidays do anything to you except get excited about the new guys in your life you will meet....
There is a cool book by Dr Phil called "Love Smart"
Read it and you will find your phone ringing off the hook with
men who WANT to make time for you...
Many Blessings to you and may your heart heal...
2007-11-27 04:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by Dog Rescuer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't get him to come back. You walked away from him when you made the choice to have an affair.
The holiday's are tough. Spend time with your family and friends. Don't focus on him or what he might be doing. It is no longer important. Stop trying to get him back, he has remarried and is no longer an option for you.
2007-11-27 04:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't! Holidays are the absolute worse time when you're experiencing heartache because they open the floodgates it seems. He moved on five years ago, and he is married now---happily so, or so it it would seem. Are you sure this is about your love for your ex, or the fact that you can't have him now? You seem to be rather jealous of the new woman in his life as well. Find out whatever it is that is missing in yourself and work on that---stop focusing on the past, because it's over.
2007-11-27 04:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..I know you have heard this before, BUT you should have thought about that BEFORE you went outside of your marriage. I'm sure he was devastated and now he has found the happiness that he deserves. Stop trying to get him back, he has moved on and you should too. Just be careful in your next relationship and take this as a lesson learned.
2007-11-27 04:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that's a hard one. I walked away 20 yrs in the past and that i'm nonetheless having themes with it. holiday journeys are a nightmare, i believe stupid because of the fact they dont recommend lots to me and for my young little ones i individually attempt. And faith is only undeniable frightening..any faith and my husband would not understand this. i attempted therapy yet all of them act like i'm a drama queen and ought to enable it go, yet once you're programmed you finished formative years to believe a undeniable way that's hard to easily forget approximately all that. sturdy success to you and there are alot of ex-jw's blogs obtainable the place you could confer with ppl feeling a similar way you're.
2016-09-30 05:44:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has moved on.....and has everything that you threw away. Sounds harsh yes but you did wrong...not by only him but your children. If you had tried as hard as you are now on your marriage......he wouldnt be where he is now. You are only hurting your children and yourself by trying to get this back. Move on with your life.....and dont make the same mistakes the second time
2007-11-27 04:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋