Is either one of these comments racist?

Question

I felt sorry for her cause she's a poor black girl.

and/or

Racism sucks, doesn't it?

(just so you know, I'm asking cause my ex's girlfriend sent me a message with the first text...when I told my ex about it and that I was offended, he said I was overreacting. So I wrote "racism sucks, doesn't it" on his facebook account and he said I was accusing him of being a racist and got extremely annoyed. I said that I was offended and that I just wrote that statement to say that the text I received I felt truly offended by and was not accusing him of being a racist. Who's right or are we both wrong? oh yeah, I'm black and he's white and his girlfriend is white by the way)

Answer 1

Part of racism is in the manner in which it was said and the intent to hurt or be mean spirited.

I personally do not think either statement is "racist".

Answer 2

The first one comes off as more condescending more than anything. There is an air of superiority there. I don't see why it is justified to feel sorry for someone because of their gender or the color of their skin (at least not in America, Darfur would be a different matter). So if there is racism here, there are also sexism and socio-economic superiority. I've been offended before by the comment, "I feel sorry for people like you." What is there to feel sorry about in regards to a person born with a gender-related birth defect?

As for the second one, it isn't racist. It might not necessarily fit the context, and I sort of think it was justified, but I see no reason for someone to get offended over it.

Answer 3

He definately made a racist comment and apparently he meant it. You on the other hand did call him racist but, you were correct in pointing it out to him. I feel at times people are too sensitive about such issues and stereotypes and at other times they have a right to be, but some people actually act like their stereotype, to their detriment.
I am white and I have a horrible time with the "N" word I think it is a totally degrading and derogatory word. I have used olot of 4-letter words in my lifetime but that one just disgusts me due to the hatred and lack of respect behind the word. I could care less what the color of your skin is, I have never gotten the relevence behind that one at all. I also don't get the idea of distinguishing a person only by their skin color. Very few people are black and I have seen very few white people (albinos are the exception here) but most people seem to be somewhere inbetween. Basically if I'm not allowed to use a word to describe a person because of my race then the person of that race should not be using it either. I mean we are all human beings just trying to do the best we can and it's hard enough without bringing race or our sexlives or our religion into a conversation or our emotions. If your ex wanted to make a comment about you whining (or whatever he was trying to describe) why couldn't he just say "poor little girl" or "poor little thing", why throw race into the comment. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all just see eachother for who we are and not just what we look like or can afford????????? (Rant over, thanks for your time.)

Answer 4

I would say that both of them could be racist, but not necessarily. It depends on the context of when and how they were said.

The first one would be racist if they meant that they felt sorry for her because she was poor and black. If they were only using the word black to describe the person, then it is not racist. If they actually feel sorry for someone because they are black, then that is racist.

The second one is racist if it was meant to be sarcastic. Otherwise, I dont think so.

Racism is all about the intent of which you say things. If you are intentionally belittling someone because they are different from you, then it is racist. If someone just says something stupid because they are ignorant, it doesn't necessarily mean they are a racist.

Answer 5

Both statements could be racist or not racist based on the context and the intent of the person making the statement. The first statement seems more likely to be racist because it directly invokes the race of an individual, but imagine if that same sentence was followed with the words "like me," or "as I was when I was little." Context means everything in deciding racism.

Answer 6

Neither.

Racist comments are not what many people think. Today some comments that doesn't agree with their own thinking are labeled as racists but in fact are not racists.

If I said, there is a thunderstorm coming because of the dark clouds in the sky, would be labeled as racists by some. If that statement is racists, you weather forecasters better beware.

Its common practice to label comments racists when someone doesn't agree with you. This country needs to do a little growing up and stop acting like a two year old.

Answer 7

your comment isn't racist.... hers is though and you have EVERY right to be offended. I can tell you her problem that he is not with her and that you are black. She probably wouldn't have so much to say if you were white. You are right racism does suck. Here's where you are wrong. You made a comment on his facebook account (which I understand is similar to MySpace) That you should have kept between the two of you. Although YOU know what you meant... and were able to explain it to him, you can't explain it to everyone else that reads it. It's just a bad look.

Answer 8

Without knowing more about the situation, it's hard to say. The original comment should not have been typed/spoken, that's for sure! This person doesn't seem very intelligent. In saying that, you should not be associating yourself with her. You may have overreacted a bit, but probably reasonably so. Sounds like they both need to take a hike - out of your life!

Answer 9

I agree that you are overreacting. She could have said the same thing about a poor white girl and you wouldn't think she would have any right to get upset right? I think it's a silly and petty comment, just let it go. Now if it had been a racist remark, it would have said something similar to "I felt sorry for that poor "insert ugly word here." Sorry but I think you are just overreacting.

Answer 10

Many people think they are not racist when they say things like that, but truth be told it is. We have just gotten used to hearing and saying things that it has become common place. Depending on what the rest of the story was it could go both ways. Knowing what kind of person you are dating really lies in how he feels about others...it will reflect back into your relationship sooner or later...