The good times are great, the bad times are horrible. Now the one major thing I stress over $$ is the last straw. I feel like this person is pushing my limits. I can deal with the control thing the name calling. But I cant deal with someone using me for money. I've tried to lead by example share my financial tricks but my mate spends and spends and I have to pick up slack when can I be done?
2007-11-27 04:16:00 · 23 answers · asked by STRAIGHTgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Any relationship is only worth salvaging if both partners are wiling to sacrafice, come to a compramise and make it work! (Though if you have kids I would say extra effort is needed!)
For you I would recomend spereate bank accounts and come to an agreement who is responisble for paying what, maybe then he will wake up and do his part!
2007-11-27 04:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by Zenkai 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get out or make them spend their own money Stop picking up the slack. And you shouldn't have to deal with the controling or the name calling, why deal with all that, but not deal with spending the money i just don't get that!!! So be done get out while you can.Good Luck.....
2007-11-27 04:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by Toni A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to read your own question and see for yourself. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical. Don't allow yourself to be used. Its bad when you know you are being used and you still have to decide whether or not to move on. I feel you have self esteem issues you need to work on before getting involved with someone else. Don't ever settle with a man. A relationship is when "2" people are together. Not 1. You are worth more than this relationship. God Bless.
2007-11-27 04:23:39 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he respect you they would not be calling you names. If he respected your relationship he would not be spending every $ he can get his hands on. His spending habits are a hint that he is not planing for any kind of future. Sounds like you have a good head on shoulder and you know what needs to be done. At the very least you need to close you check book, and let him make it on his own. I guess you need to ask your-self what are you looking. Someone to keep you company today or someone you can grow up and old with in the future. I
2007-11-27 04:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by sendittojeff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The big question you have to ask yourself is do the good times out weigh the bad? If this is someone that you want to be with bad enough to put up with his flaws, then his financial problems might be something you have to keep working on. But do you really want to be with someone whose controlling and verbally abusive? It sounds like you should cut your losses and move on. Find someone who doesn't need his girlfriend to cover his butt all the time
2007-11-27 04:36:30 · answer #5 · answered by lehua 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is using you for your money. You shouldn't have to support his spending habits. Seclude your money from his and don't give him any. It sounds like your relationship isn't that great either if he is controlling and calls you names. You don't want to live like that from know on. If you can't see yourself marrying him and being happy you need to move on. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel. You don't want to risk ruining your finances so that he can buy and buy. You also have to think about your credit. If you allow him to ruin your credit that only hurts you. Without credit you can't get anything. I hope that it hasn't gone that far yet. You have to be strong and think about yourself. It sounds like you are the one making sacrifices in this relationship and it shouldn't be like that at all. He has to give a little to and work at making you Happy not just his self. Good Luck!!!!
2007-11-27 05:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He calls you names, but that doesn't concern you? He controls you, but thats not a big deal? And your worried about money. Sounds like this guy is all for himself. Get out and find someone that can keep up his end financially and treat you with respect.
2007-11-27 04:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by peyton31602 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship has a snowball chance in hell of being successful, verbal abuse/bad times, if you think you're being used guess what? YOU ARE!, but that's your decision to make, a deal breaker will come believe me, in the meantime, protect yourself, seperate bank accounts, credit cards, do it for you cause when the dust settles and that person is gone, you'll thank yourself believe me. This is a lesson you need to learn.
2007-11-27 04:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by Boots4ACowgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We never look for the signs do we? Just charge it to the game cuz. As for tough times, they do come...but it's worse when the one that should help you just won't. And if you keep "picking up the slack", they will continue to use you. I mean, I'm not a user...but if you just wanna play "slave for a day" then hey, should I let you. Love is cool, but love yourself enough to demand respect; they're seriously playing you.
2007-11-27 04:25:00 · answer #9 · answered by FRIEND 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on in my opinion, just the fact of the control and name calling. So he spends his money the way he wants and you pay the bills! If that works I'll be your man.
2007-11-27 04:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by The Budster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is a major concern when it comes to a relationship. There seems to be a major difference of money stewardship in your situation. It isn't that you are being too stingy when it comes to finances but you are not on the same page. You have to want the same goal and want to be happy when it comes to the finances. It is not good to be living in this turmoil.
2007-11-27 04:25:10 · answer #11 · answered by aine2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋