Seriously. By reading some of the answers on this forum, I get the feeling that some respondents have never been married, or have only been married a year or so. The result, some strange advice based on a very idealistic view of how things work, or don't work in a marriage.
I mean, when I answer a question, I have 16 years and three kids to fall back on. And you can tell which other respondents have actually been through their fair share of experiences, too.
Not really a question. More of an observation.
2007-11-27 04:11:42 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will tell you that 5 years into my marriage, I would have given you crappy advice. At the 10 year mark it would have been marginally better. We're celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks, we are raising 3 teenagers and a toddler, and my advice, although much better than it would have been at age 23, is still only worth what you pay for it.
My opinion: If you are going to tell other people how to go about being a married person, you'd better be married. Otherwise, I will respect your opinion about as much as I respect that of so-called child-rearing "experts" who have never actually had any children (that is to say, very little respect at all).
2007-11-27 04:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by CowboysFan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably not going to like my answer but I post questions in this category because if I posted in Singles and Dating I'd get responses from high schoolers using "ur" "neway" "h8" and giving me advice about what they would do at 16 years old...I'm 30 and I need mature input.
I answer questions in this category because I've had relationships that have lasted longer than some marriages and just because I've never legally been married, I feel like I am mature enough to understand the idea and possibly contribute a meaningful response. There are some questions being asked that you don't need to have been married to answer like "Is my husband cheating?" "Should I stay married for the kids?" "I am having feelings for a co-worker?" and "I might start an affair?" I'm sorry but those questions can be answered by anyone that has been through the experience...married or not.
Some of the best advice comes from people that have objective views and can see things outside of the box. That's exactly why therapy works so well for some and psychologists continue to help people even though they don't personally have depression, schizophrenia, or bi-polar (among other issues).
I must also say that I learn alot from the unhappily/ happily married posters on Yahoo. I learn what NOT to do and also what works for people...I don't comment on something I haven't been through and I'm not constantly rude like some others on YA....
2007-11-27 04:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean I feel sometimes reading these responses that these people never have been married or even in a serious relationship. I myself have half the time you have with being married 8yrs and counting but dealt with divorce as a teenager and parents splitting. I was 16 so helped my mom through everything you learn a thing or two or three. Really it would make sense not to answer questions you know nothing about but well that is a persons right freedom of speech and all. I think people need to stick to what they know if they have not been married before or gone through divorce or have not been married for say atleast 3yrs they should be considerate of others that know how to answer these question be that it is a sensitive and emotional
part of your life being married and also going through divorce ro seperation.
Great question may God Bless You and you Family and Best Wishes.
2007-11-27 04:39:34 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a great observation. I've noticed the same thing myself. I've been married 10yrs., and have 3 kids. But, nowadays everybody thinks they're an expert on everything. Maybe that's why we have so many marriages ending in divorce. I always tell people, if they need advice, go to someone who's been where they are. Asking a friend who's never been married, is like talking to a brick wall. Neither can offer any good advice because, neither of them have been through it.
2007-11-27 04:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by eagleman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An age limit is too arbitrary, I can guarantee that many of the answers you think are well thought out and great are from 20 year olds who have never been married and a great deal of the idiotic posts are from people who are 35 years old and divorced twice. I think it is just something you have to filter out yourself. It would be nice if the person asking the question could "flag" answers as unfit or something.
2007-11-27 04:22:55 · answer #5 · answered by JA in SC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually I'd say the vast majority of stuff on the whole Yahoo Answers thing are not genuine. The rules - including the min age etc are evidently constantly broken. I feel sorry for the people who are genuinely looking for answers - it's hit and miss whether they get the right people to see their questions.
2007-11-27 04:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ageism/adultism? lol
No but really, the teens who havent even had their first love shouldn't be answering M&D questions. I'm 22 and have given lots of good advice to many people. Sometimes those under 28 do actually have something to contribute.
I'd like to make another observation, when we're all kids we hate when adults talk down to us, or act like we couldn't possibly know what we're talking about. Then we become "adults" and do the same shi& lol. There are some people in their 40's here who wouldnt know what to do with an egg, much less a marriage, and they answer questions too.
My point is that while I agree, I also think its unfair and wrong to deduce that a person of adult age can offer better advice just based on age alone. There's much more to it, experience would be something I consider.
2007-11-27 04:22:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I dont think there should be an minimum age, but experience. You are right about how some people answer questions who arent even married, and I am thinking to myself, how are YOU giving out advice on something u have no jurisdiction? I dont think you need to be married for like 20 years or anything, becuase young people have gone through things and had experiences too about things. People should stick to what they know...
2007-11-27 04:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by Indian beauty 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I agree....but unfortunately Yahoo has no way of controlling who answers questions on here.....If someone is asking advise based upon others experiences...I will only answer if I in fact have had experience with the subject being asked about....
2007-11-27 04:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An accurate observation at that. I think someone should at least be or have been married before they start answering questions in this forum.
2007-11-27 04:15:47 · answer #10 · answered by Marina 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋